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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

866 replies

canttakeanymore · 26/08/2006 19:23

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

OP posts:
makemineadouble · 15/09/2006 07:37

Mole and rk all the very best for today please post later let me know how it went they look so big and grown up acting all tough but we know they're just frghtened little kids......Teenagers hey cant live with em, cant kill em

losingdd · 15/09/2006 09:13

Message withdrawn

anorak · 15/09/2006 09:30

losingdd, why should you feel bad that you don't miss the daily shit? You're only human. I'm thinking of the old saying 'love the sinner and hate the sin'.

I miss the happy times with my DDs but I don't miss the awful times - why should I? Our kids can only push us so far into masochism

Molesworth · 15/09/2006 09:38

losingdd

Here's hoping you hear from dd today. I know that feeling of missing like crazy but not missing the shit sooooo well!

makemineadouble · 15/09/2006 12:37

Hoping to catch up later for chat must fly now spoke to runkid this morn! dd not gone to school....feel like draggin her there myself upset for rk she really tries so hard far more patience than me

Molesworth · 15/09/2006 14:08

oh no MMAD, that's bad news

losingdd · 15/09/2006 15:12

Message withdrawn

runkid · 15/09/2006 15:38

Well guys it was time for action i havent fought hard this four years to give up now. I have been on the phone making waves and i want some kind of consequence for DD not going to school today. For gods sake its one day and she couldnt get even be bothered to get her lazy butt out of her pit!! I dont want letters coming to me threatening me with court action its not me that needs punishing i think i have been punished enough. So when we go to court at the end of the month they can damn well sort it out.

Molesworth how did the interview go?

Molesworth · 15/09/2006 17:11

omg RK, are you being taken to court for dd's non attendance at school?!

losingdd, what's your dd doing at college?

today went ok ... I took dd into the PRU for her induction session (she was just there for the afternoon, doing assessment tests in maths science and english). She also met some of the other kids at break time, so the ice has been broken a little bit. She did fine with the tests, but she isn't exactly enthusiastic about going (she starts full time on Monday) BUT she told me that she would give it a couple of weeks before making her mind up about it. I'm really pleased with that! (Your expectations get lower and lower in these situations don't they?!)

SpaceCadet · 15/09/2006 17:32

molesworth, thats good news, keeping my fingers crossed.
runkid, its not fair is it, why should you be punished because of your dd?

Molesworth · 15/09/2006 17:39

how are things with you today spacey?

runkid · 15/09/2006 18:35

NO guys not in court for school dd is in court for breach of supervision order but while we are there i intend to deal with this issue.They did jokingly tell me i could go to prison if dd doesnt go to school well you can imagine my response!!!! HOW THE HELL IS IT MY FAULT

Molesworth · 15/09/2006 18:44

Yep, I was warned too RK. Infuriating isn't it? I think as long as we're seen to be co-operating with the schools/EWOs/SWs/whoever then prison or even a fine would be most unlikely though.

losingdd · 15/09/2006 19:17

Message withdrawn

runkid · 15/09/2006 19:19

Yes i thought the same they need to be threatening the kids with something dont they. Were not all parents who dont give a shit but were all tard with the same brush

runkid · 15/09/2006 19:24

Oh god losingdd none of that sounds good its a terrible thing your having to cope with and exausting. It just seems never ending BIG HUG for you

makemineadouble · 15/09/2006 20:33

Mole thats fantastic! good for her! even going let alone saying she'll go back again. I know this sounds stupid? but buy her lots of school stuff pens'notebooks silly things even naughty girls love that stuff. (IMO) mine does anyway and she's 20! dont know how she lived that long without me killin her lol

Ldd never never never give up. she really is still there you just cant see her right now. She needs to do this even the shitty bits. Lettin little bro down will kill her, she might not admit that to you, but i promise you it will...get him to draw her picture of them on park or something with little note sayin he wishes he saw her more?! I know I might be hittin below belt there but fek if it works do it!

makemineadouble · 15/09/2006 20:37

Hey spacey what happened with sat job?

SpaceCadet · 15/09/2006 22:06

molesworth-she went to school today and came home in tears because the history teacher told her she wasnt putting the work in.
mmad-she cant be bothered to look for one.
ldd-((hugs)).
runkid-, its not bloody right, surely if you see your dd going into school, then its the schools responsibility not yours.

makemineadouble · 15/09/2006 22:47

sc what can i say keep trying ? its so frustrating !I have met some really shite parents in my work but you lot are sound, RK has fought 18 mnths more for this place what for????

she( rk's dd) was excluded on a friday fair enough!? should have been made to attend some sort of school the next monday!!! surely dont exclude them if youv got no where to send them grrrr

anorak · 16/09/2006 09:39

Fingers crossed for me ladies I am going over to visit DD2.

A friend and neighbour sadly died this week and I rang DD1 to tell her, asked her if she was seeing DD2, she said she didn't know. I said well I don't want to tell her on the phone, she will be too upset. Ring me when you are with her and I will call her then so you're there with her when she gets the news. Or else I will tell her when I see her on Saturday.

DD1 rushed straight over there the next day and told her the news (according to DD2) really harshly and matter-of-factly, first I heard of it I got a text off DD2 saying 'why didn't you tell me?' and had to drop what I was doing right away to phone her and explain

I will know better than to trust DD1 again with something delicate like that.

runkid · 16/09/2006 10:02

Good luck anorak

Well i am so ny phone bill must of arrived in the week i found it today and you guessed it my daughter reverse charges. When she finally decides to show her face(she hasnt been seen since 2.30 yesterday afternoon) I think im going to kill her. Im just going to have to take the phones to work with me

Christie · 16/09/2006 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Molesworth · 16/09/2006 12:11

Good luck today anorak, thinking of you x

alibubbles · 16/09/2006 12:51

anorak

i didn't realise that DD1 and DD2 are not together. I thought they were both with exDH. Id DD1 still living on her own?

I feel so sad for you....