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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

866 replies

canttakeanymore · 26/08/2006 19:23

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

OP posts:
Molesworth · 03/09/2006 15:56

Sooo pleased you're enjoying the peace!

dd just asked me if she could go to Amsterdam with said lowlife bf next weekend

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 18:00

sorry mole not takin it all in how old is dd?

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 18:01

SC enjoy its not over yet x

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 18:02

LLD you still in church FM what a confession! lol how are you

losingdd · 03/09/2006 18:33

Message withdrawn

Molesworth · 03/09/2006 19:26

LDD, it does sound like your dd really wants to maintain a good relationship with you, despite the decisions she is making.

Our dds sound frighteningly similar though don't they

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 19:53

just caught up RK's got me sooooo busy..... how fantastic! open the wine shitty dd is still princess on the inside, and really wont put up with this for long I think every time she visits make it very special ..calm'happy,cook fav food,buy her some bubble bath! clean her room,clean sheets??? get some wine !!! get her p....d tell her to stay the night.....any thing you can to keep her safe WE ARE THE MOTHERs!!!!!!!! x

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 19:56

LDD this was meant for you x but hey i'll drink with anyone (hic!)

runkid · 03/09/2006 21:17

LDD,things ok she been ok roo still looks like a squat but hey she lives in there no me. shes out at moment have awful feeling she aint coming back

SpaceCadet · 03/09/2006 21:21

the problem with dd's and their lowlife b/f is that the more you kick off about them, the more appealing the bloke seems, i think the only choice is to act very blase about them and let them come to their senses themselves..it has to be THEIR idea, not ours!
molesworth..at least she asked you!!! what did you say?

SpaceCadet · 03/09/2006 21:22

runkid, my dd;s room is awful, i compare it to a student bedsit..now coupled with the holes in the wall. it looks really divine..but i dont have to sleep in there

runkid · 03/09/2006 21:36

Can you all give some support in parenting for mum whose child is missing she is desperate

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 21:40

SC absolutely! hey get off mnet you sound like me! just top me up while your up sweetheart x

losingdd · 03/09/2006 22:01

Message withdrawn

Molesworth · 03/09/2006 22:03

LOL I did the same last weekend LDD - there were chicken bones and fag butts on the floor

runkid · 03/09/2006 22:09

Poor chickens did they starve to death i dont think they eat fag butts lol

losingdd · 03/09/2006 22:10

Message withdrawn

runkid · 03/09/2006 22:12

can you help out in parenting diva75 really down PLEASE

runkid · 04/09/2006 21:19

How are things spacey?

How are you feeling Losingdd?

My dd didnt come home until lunch time today tried to break in and gave up went and got a key from my dads. I walked in the house after starting back today and it looked like a mum had gone off it really F*s me off

SpaceCadet · 04/09/2006 21:22

still quiet..she returns tomorrow..i know it sounds so horrible, but calmness reigns across the household when she is not here, im a nicer person, the kids are happier.

runkid · 04/09/2006 21:30

Yes i am afraid i am exactly the same its sad isnt it and as we speak she has just woke my DS by shouting and swearing

SpaceCadet · 04/09/2006 22:13

oh no

anorak · 04/09/2006 22:41

I've been away for a few days (at essbee's) and just caught up on this thread. DH went up to bed and I said I'd be 5 mins, but I've filled my glass with Chenin now.

You see that this thread is turning into a support thread for mothers like us. Catching up has made me cry again, but not in the usual despairing way, in a good way, because I feel we are all together here and this really really is what mumsnet is all about.

I saw DD1 last week. I couldn't see her on her 17th birthday because I was away, but I took her a gift and card. Always before on her birthdays we have asked her to choose money or a gift at £50 value, (as we do with all the children) and then I would go out and spend another 50 on bits and pieces carefully chosen, hoping to make her smile. The usual response would be 'I don't like this, I don't like that' as well as telling her friends that I don't give her anything

This year her father has paid for her to go to Berlin, and she is hoping to squeeze a car and driving lessons out of him too. I thought, well I just can't compete with this. I'm not prepared to engage in a buying competition. If my daughter wants me she will have to want me, not what I can buy.

I bought her a little silver necklace, wrapped it and took it over to her place.

And she fussed over that necklace as if it were the crown jewels. As if it were the best gift she'd ever seen.

I don't understand, but it feels as if things may be getting better. Even thought I don't have the girls any more perhaps they are returning to me in a different way.

runkid · 04/09/2006 22:48

This reply has been deleted

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themoon66 · 04/09/2006 23:16

Anorak.... your daughter will come back to you eventually. My post about my DD was earlier on and I dont know if you remember it.. she went off to live with shite face bloke aged 30.

I have an older friend, aged 63, who had a wayward daughter too. She is a wise sort and always said.. remember all the years you have put into bringing her up so far are never wasted. You will get back what you put in in the end. This is SO true.

Just stick with it. Be there when she bounces back... and she will.