Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

866 replies

canttakeanymore · 26/08/2006 19:23

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

OP posts:
PeaceAtHome · 02/09/2006 17:37

Hi everyone. It's the first time I've visited this site (and Runkid, I've just looked at yours too, looking good, good luck with it). I hope your all keeping strong, it's great to hear everyone's helping to hold each other up, it's such hard work hey. I've a 15yr old daughter myself that's just started to do the disappearing act. She tries to rule the roost too, so some of the advice here is of great help!

makemineadouble · 02/09/2006 17:50

peaceathome hi sorry to hear your yet another mother of a Bloody well,Running riot,Attrocious,Teenager...thats(BRAT)for short

if you have 2 mins jump on runkids thread in teenagers and leave good luck message it keeps her thread bumped and so it will always be in last hour search

Molesworth · 02/09/2006 17:53

Hello PeaceAtHome and welcome to mumsnet

PeaceAtHome · 02/09/2006 18:01

hi make mineadouble (love the nickname! )
actually for today, at least, the house is at peace. Just gearing up for the next sess, but feeling WELL in control, especially having read through this thread. Have left a message for runkid, tis looking good.

PeaceAtHome · 02/09/2006 18:04

Hi Molesworth, thanks for your warm welcome. I haven't experienced anything on this scale as yet, quite shocking, but I can see how it all escalates. Good to prop each other up though, the support in this forum's fantastic.

makemineadouble · 02/09/2006 18:16

thats not a nickname! with 4 brats its a bloody lifestyle

makemineadouble · 02/09/2006 18:17

HIC!

runkid · 02/09/2006 18:24

Welcome peaceathome thanx for the message

PeaceAtHome · 02/09/2006 18:33

Hehe! 4! I doubt it gets any easier then. Think I'll join you :-)

PeaceAtHome · 02/09/2006 18:35

Anyway, will be back soon. Hope your weekend goes well, lots of deep breaths all!

losingdd · 02/09/2006 20:48

Message withdrawn

runkid · 02/09/2006 20:54

have faith dd she will come round, sometimes they have to go so they can comeback. She loves you never doubt that. She is finding her own way she will get through this >

makemineadouble · 02/09/2006 20:55

well your not!!!!! if you were you would'nt be worried so bout her.i think she cant be round you at mo simple because thats real life with responsibilities not this pretend world that feels bit cool right now

losingdd · 02/09/2006 21:29

Message withdrawn

runkid · 02/09/2006 21:40

losingdd, what are you doing to you self. Stop beating yourself up like this. none of this is your fault sometimes there is just nothing you can do apart from be there when she needs you. You are a great mum or you wouldnt care what was going on. You must stop beating yourself up.

losingdd · 02/09/2006 21:50

Message withdrawn

runkid · 02/09/2006 21:54

Losingdd,i just want to say my mum died suddenly four years ago that day my life went to hell. My dd problems where triggered by her death i also ended a relationship two weeks before i was supposed to get married and i was pregnant with ds and i work with special needs. Our kids have choices they have chosen the way they want to be for now we cant change that. But i know i am good at my job and i know you are to. Keep smiling it wont be like this forever. We are here for you

makemineadouble · 02/09/2006 21:56

Ldd I honestly know who i would want to have talked to in my black days of dd and it would be you! not some dried up old spinster who hates kids anyway or some spotty faced virgin who had'nt gut a feckin clue!!!!

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 10:32

morn LDD well its sunday guess your in church! i,m just back myself YEAH

how ya doin?

runkid · 03/09/2006 12:24

LDD how you doing today bit happier i hope.

Did you drink all communion wine MMAD

SpaceCadet · 03/09/2006 12:53

molesworth-did you collect your daughter.
losingdd-please dont beat yourself up over this, you are not a bad mother, ive no idea why a teenage girl would want to leave her secure family life but i can only guess that, she thinks it will be great out there, freedom, can do what she likes etc, but she will have a MASSIVE shock.
as for the boyfriend, he probably looks really cool in her eyes, but hopefully she will wake up to what hes like.
its not your fault.

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 13:01

RK ha ha twas a little sweet for my palate

makemineadouble · 03/09/2006 13:04

HI SPACEY whats the news?

Molesworth · 03/09/2006 13:05

I picked up dd yesterday, all was well until we got home and she started acting like she owns the place and ordering her brother around

I was so pleased to see her at first, then within hours I was wishing she'd be gone again!

I think it will take a while to adjust. I don't know how long she will stay this time, but the friends she was staying with have gone away now, so she hasn't got anywhere to go.

She has an awful boyfriend too like losingdd's daughter. He is 23, an alcoholic (although has apparently stopped drinking) and he is on the run from people who want to "knife him". Presumably he ripped them off or something. Altogether a nasty piece of work, but she will have to find that out for herself. On the plus side, he doesn't appear to be treating dd badly (yet???).

Are you having a lovely peaceful weekend spacey?

SpaceCadet · 03/09/2006 14:13

its so lovely and peaceful..im dreading tuesday when she will be home..my mother is not speaking to me because i to,ld her to abide by my wishes, im just making the most of my time, no doubt she will kick off about something when she comes home.
molesworth, im sure that eventually your dd's b/f will show his true colours, then hopefully she will dump him.