My DD has broken a FC of 30 years experience...or rather SS have with their lack of support in this situation! She has handed in her resignation.
Here's the sorry saga : I went to College, after having given SS as much information as I could on DD's whereabouts.
SS sent the FC to pick DD up.
DD refused to get in the FC's car. SS wouldn't send out a fury SW to help them, so they had to go home.
DD vanished from where she was.
I sit my exam, then whilst still at college, Ex rings me, DD turned up at our house. He gives her some soup to keep her there whilst I deal with SS. SS refused to send anyone out to get her, told FC to come and pick her up, despite DD STILL refusing to go back with them.
I get back from college, ring SS again. They grudgingly agree to send out Duty SW.
DD still refuses to go. SW tells me that as DD isn't at risk, is in a place of safety, and isn't causing an IMMEDIATE risk to either me or the DC's, that the police WILL refuse to take her. I corroborated that with the police.
I break down, because I know that all the support I've fought for will fucking VANISH if I let her stay. Duty SW says she will do her best to ensure that that won't happen. I point out that I'm a realist, have been here 101 times before, and that as DD won't engage, and is ONLY motivated by the ability to have NO boundaries, the ability to do what she wants, how she wants, when she wants, with no consequences, having as much money as she wants, that the support WILL vanish.
Duty SW admits that that is a possibility, but that there's nothing else that can be done tonight.
So DD asleep upstairs, or at least, in her bed. SW fucked off. No support in place for her 'return', and the likelihood of the support continuing to be put in place now she's home slim to non-existent.
The only thing I can see as a possibility is to refuse to allow her in tomorrow. But like tonight, she won't turn up until I'm at college (it was timed that way tonight...) and ex will let her in because he won't argue on the doorstep. It won't matter what I tell him, he just won't.
If she refuses to leave for school in the morning, I either have to get her to leave with me (yeah, like I've got the physical ability to do that!) or call the police.
Thing is, if DS3 is late for preschool once more, not through illness obviously, but through DD, then HE LOSES HIS INCLUSION FUNDING. Because they don't allow you in if you are more than 15 mins late, as it's too disruptive for the other pupils.
When I explained this to the duty SW, she said to take the boys to school, and then call the police when I get back.
I pointed out that she is able to lock me out because of the type of door I have, no other access point. So she said call the police and they will literally knock the door down.
My response was "and who the FUCK is going yo pay for that repair? It would need repaired straight away..." She said that I would be responsible for that. When I pointed out that that would mean that I would have absolutely NO money to feed my DS's with, and in fact, what I have in the bank probably wouldn't be enough to repair my front door anyway, she said "well, that's all I can suggest".
I'm about to break, I swear to fucking GOD.
If even one of the most experienced FC's in my area has no more suggestions, and is so disgusted with the lack of support both her AND I are receiving from SS that she has resigned as a FC, WTF else do I do?
I can't keep my DS's safe and happy with her here, I'm going to lose the crumbs of support that HAVE been offered, and I can't even call the police out in case I end up paying legal costs and another victim surcharge.
How do I NOT crack up?!