I'm done

[CouthyMow]

DD school refused this morning. First she refused to give DS1 back his iPod that he had kindly lent to her yesterday because hers is broken.

I insisted she give it back. She then decided

A 7 year age gap between two siblings with disabilities & SN's, when added to already having a 15yo with disabilities and SN's with a College place to sort, added to my own (not insignificant) health issues, is not entirely helpful!!

MaryZ - pushing earlier for a dx may well not have made ANY difference as to whether you actually got one or not. I've gone 14 rounds with ALL of them, every fucking year, since DD was 7mo, and STILL not got a PROPER dx.

So don't beat yourself up about that one. I have tried EVERYTHING over the years.

Just 'bits' of a dx here, and 'bits' of a dx there...

Read the list up thread...101 different 'small' dx's, no answers as to WHY all these things are present in one DC. We know it's Autism but try getting a fucking dx of THAT in my town...

Oh - apparently CAHMS no longer dx Autism in my PCT. They said go yo the Paed, for a multi-disciplinary assessment. They dobt do them for over 14's here...

CAHMS lady told me, off the record, in Tesco today (random, I know - she was with her very cute 4yo that took a liking to DS3's orange hair...) that if it was her, she would pay for a private Autism assessment . So in other words, it's glaringly fucking OBVIOUS, but the only way I can get a dx for DD is to pay Privately. Which I can't exactly do as a Disabled Lone Parent Carer on benefits...

Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!

Fuck knows, MaryZ. If it's more than £30, it'll be outside what I can do, and my uneducated guess on Private costs for an Autism dx are in the region of high hundreds, or even thousands...

Ugh. DD hasn't even got the ADHD dx...

I've read most of the thread and just want to say that if she does get help, it won't necessarily significantly change her behaviours. My dd is 17 and I adopted her from the care system when she was 7. She comes with lots of emotional baggage and anger issues. Because of her past, we have been able to access CAMHS. She saw a clinical psychologist most weeks for more than 2 years at school until she left last summer. I think it has helped her to process her history and it gave her some strategies to remain in school when it looked like she would be permanently excluded in Y10 (she even ended up with 7gcses) BUT it hasn't really helped with her short fuse and she can still be extremely difficult at home. It is me that has learnt to manage her more effectively that has helped. However she's an only child and a Classic ADHD teenager who has become ultra lazy rather than wanting to be out and about all the time...so in one sense easier to manage than your dd. But just wanted to let you know that outside help for dd will not be a quick fix for your family dynamics.

Having said that, medication might. Dd was on risperidone for a while and that really took the edge off her meltdowns.

A private assessment could cost up to £3k to achieve and I know many cases where LAs and schools have refused to accept a private diagnosis. Tread carefully.

Dx just isn't going to happen. The FC placement has only been OK'd till MONDAY, I've just found out. SW is going to pugs for an extra week, as I won't have even had my first proper appointment with Dbit by then.

First contact is going to be at mine, Saturday evening, for dinner. The two littlest ones will be staying at their Dad's, so it will be easier to manage.

FC is lovely. SW shares my reservations about DD's boyfriend - as I explained to her, it's NOT just the age gap, but certain 'things' that I can't quite put my finger on, seem a bit 'off'. SW agrees and is concerned that there might be some control issues on the part of the boyfriend.

Which IS what I was worried about, didn't worry like that with her Ex.

There is NO WAY the FC placement will be extended past Monday 17th February. Probably because of how close to 16 DD will be...

Pugs = push, not quite sure where autocorrect got THAT one from!

FC will drive DD here for contact and pick her up after.

Finished catching up on the thread. Oh couthy it's such shit

Even if you got a private diagnosis, it might not be recognised, purely because it's private And it could easily cost several thousand pounds. It must be nice to be CAMHS lady and have that kind of money!!!

Glad to hear the FC is lovely

The 16-18 gap (or even 14-18) is a black hole, childrens teams close up and adult teams don't open up. My DD2 is very nearly 18 and help post 16...well, it took until she was actually hospitalised to get any, and not a huge amount. No more CAMHS input, social services would win an award for best chocolate radiator if the year and nothing else...she'll be 18 in March and I'm hoping that adult MH can do something more then.

Even if you got a private diagnosis, it might not be recognised, purely because it's private

I hear this all the time on MN and it simply isn't true.

I had a private ASD assessment for DS - 'accepted' by the LA and many parents on the SN Board have had the same experience.

A private DX is neither within an LA's remit to accept or refuse. It's simply a document containing the opinion of a competent professional who is every bit as qualified to make the dx in question as the NHS are. Having provided that document to the LA, if they subsequently refuse to acknowledge it and damage arises from their inaction, they mace face legal remedy or even prosecution. I cannot imagine their defence in court if, by ignoring the advice contained in a private assessment, damage occurs 'Sorry judge - we chose to ignore this vital information because the competent practitioner who issued this opinion was not employed by the NHS'. That would be laughed out of Court.

So it's acknowledgement rather than acceptance and you can be damn sure that the LA will read any diagnostoc report you send them (private or otherwise).

And yes a dx would be top hundreds to possibly low thousands.

It's financially out of the question, is what a Private dx is...

From the National Autistic Society website:

"Private assessments

Some parents feel that they would rather pay for a private assessment. Often, this is because it reduces the waiting time.

The costs of private assessments can vary, so it’s a good idea to phone several services to ask about costs, what this pays for and whether any follow-up service is offered.

Occasionally, local authority departments such as social services and education have not recognised a private diagnosis. This means that a child cannot access services or support until they have an NHS diagnosis, too. For this reason, we suggest that you stay on the waiting list for an NHS assessment even if you also decide to go privately."

You'd better tell them they're wrong as you clearly know better WetAugust...

From the National Autistic Society website:

"Private assessments

Some parents feel that they would rather pay for a private assessment. Often, this is because it reduces the waiting time.

The costs of private assessments can vary, so it’s a good idea to phone several services to ask about costs, what this pays for and whether any follow-up service is offered.

Occasionally, local authority departments such as social services and education have not recognised a private diagnosis. This means that a child cannot access services or support until they have an NHS diagnosis, too. For this reason, we suggest that you stay on the waiting list for an NHS assessment even if you also decide to go privately."

You'd better tell them they're wrong as you clearly know better WetAugust...

From the National Autistic Society website:

"Private assessments

Some parents feel that they would rather pay for a private assessment. Often, this is because it reduces the waiting time.

The costs of private assessments can vary, so it’s a good idea to phone several services to ask about costs, what this pays for and whether any follow-up service is offered.

Occasionally, local authority departments such as social services and education have not recognised a private diagnosis. This means that a child cannot access services or support until they have an NHS diagnosis, too. For this reason, we suggest that you stay on the waiting list for an NHS assessment even if you also decide to go privately."

You'd better tell them they're wrong as you clearly know better WetAugust...

Sorry for multiple posts, wifi went mad!

I know a family who eventually got a dx (not autism) for their child by going down the private route, and the LA social work/post adoption team refused to accept it or take it into consideration because it was done privately

I'm not saying it's common and of course it can work out great but I don't really appreciate being told I'm lying either, because I'm not

Although it's a moot point if it can't be afforded

You didn't need to add a snide remark implying that I know better than the NAS. I was giving my exerience and those of many real life parents with children with ASD and not merely some 'advice' from a charity.

I find that myths should not be perpetuated.

And 'not recognising' is very different from 'not accepting'. If the LA failed to act / failed to provide support becuse they chose to ignore the medical opinion issued by a competent practitioner and damage subsequently arose from their failure to act then they would be vicariously liable for that damage. Fact. The NAS advice is correct to seek NHS diagnosis too - which I also did. In fact I have 1 private and 3 NHS diagnoses.

Well they should have pushed them to acknowledge the report Milka, because when it eventually goes ahead to a SENDIST Tribunal you will find that the Tribunal considers these private reports.

Strange that all these anecdotes exist but no one ever seems to have actually brought a legal challenge against their so-called refusal to accept.

listen to wetaugust - i know she has a wealth of experience of this type of scenario, and she has encyclopedic knowledge on the law and special needs....

a private dx would indeed cost anywhere from £500 to £3000 - so if thats out of the question then i would now be changing GP, and asking for a referral to clinical psychologist for assessment - but the waiting lists are long. never the less - i dont see what choice you have anymore. She needs assessing.

my sons DX was done on the NHS BUT at a facility that does both nhs and private assessments, by the same expert clinician.