I'm done

[CouthyMow]

DD school refused this morning. First she refused to give DS1 back his iPod that he had kindly lent to her yesterday because hers is broken.

I insisted she give it back. She then decided

I patched a big hole one time (about 24 x 18 inches). It was a bit complicated and I had to buy some drywall, a hot glue gun, an exacto knife, some drywall webbing/mesh, and drywall mud as well as a spatula thingy, and I used cardboard I already had. The basic operation involved cutting the hole to a regular shape, and then cutting the new piece the same shape.

Scroll down to large holes for a run through. I didn't use pieces of wood as I didn't have a power tool, just corrugated cardboard strips, and I used my hot glue gun to secure them behind the existing drywall. I also covered the entire hole area with mesh/webbing hot glued to the cardboard, as I knew I would have some filling in to do around the edges and needed something behind the new piece that the mud could stick to. I used the ready mixed mud when I was sure the hot glue was dry and the patch had stuck to the cardboard and the edges of the hole. I only put hot glue way in at the back of the hole edge as I didn't want glue blobs around the patch giving the game away when it all dried. Then I sanded for ages.

Make sure your new drywall is the same thickness as the old stuff already in the wall.

Whoops! 'Scroll down to large holes for a run through'

THIS is the link

Possibly a bit too dangerous for someone with epilepsy to do? Don't know if I would use a saw or a hot glue gun for example.

Now there's a thread I've never seen on the Property board: "Help please - how do I repair the holes my Dteen has made in my house?!"

STILL no date or time for the placement planning meeting, have rung and asked the SW.

DS2 has been puking since 3am, DS1 since 8am.

I have to do a practice write up of my CA for a Science today whilst DS3 is at preschool. But first I need to hang up washing and tidy the front room (I was puking last night & Ex will do Childcare but not a jot of housework ATM, he's being a knob again. He goes through stages like this periodically - if work is stressful, he opts out of helping me. Tis why we split...). Oh, also last nights washing up to do.

Is impossible to do housework with DS3 home, ditto College work, hyperactivity + SN means I can't even Hoover with him in the house.

I'm having a fag before getting started. I still feel decidedly vommy, too...AND I'm on. For the 12 time in 6 months. Yep, two every month. I feel like SHIT. GP won't do hormone tests, rest of bloods normal-ish. So, I am totally run down on top of everything else.

I'm exhausted. I need a break from LIFE right now. I'm not depressed, just can't find the energy to just keep trucking right now.

I think possibly that looking after DD (and the others with their SN's), I've been running on adrenaline for the best part of 15 years, and now I've just run out IYSWIM. I just don't feel like I've got anything left.

I'm always so goddamn tired, yet have stocking insomnia, unless I can go to sleep for the night at 8.30pm. Considering 3yo DS3 rarely goes to sleep before 10pm, is usually up for at least an hour in the night, and is up for the day any time from 4-6am, I can't DO bed at 8.30pm. But then I can't get to sleep until 2/3am because I'm overtired.

I need a break. Only holiday Ex has booked is being used as Childcare cover for my exams. He is 'keeping the rest of his holiday for him to have a rest'. Dick

Half of me wishes I could just drop college, but I've done half the course, and if I could just find the energy to work after DC's in bed, I'd ace the exams.

Plus no real choice as no quals I can get a job with, DLA been stopped, and only 2 years till I'm totally screwed because according to DWP, I'm "too ill" for JSA (not fit to work FT), and "not ill enough" for ESA, so I won't qualify for anything the minute DS3 stops getting DLA.

So I NEED GCSE's this year and next so that I can get ANY job.

Front room tidy & hoovered. Washing hung up on airer. Quick break then college work while heating water for washing up. Does it ever STOP?!

There's probably a good reason not to do it this way, but couldn't you fix the hole with paper mache?

Flour, water, scrunched newspaper inside, then strips of newspaper dipped in the flour & water mix layered on top to build it up to the right level (just a bit lower at the edges), allow to dry for a good few days and it should go quite firm, then pollyfiller the edges.

Well done Couthy. I understand the importance of having at least one clean and tidy room before you can get on with anything else !

I sympathise with the Insomnia. I have struggled with it for at least 12 years and at one point last year I was struggling to hold down a well salaried job beacause I was too exhausted to work and could not safely drive anywhere.

I am deemed to be a responsible user of Zopiclone and have a repeat prescription. See my posts on Doinmummys thread. However that may not work for you because of your other medication.

I have changed jobs and am currently working outside. Very hard physical work so I tend to sleep much better. Try to get some fresh air and exercise every day if you can manage it.

Good luck today with the studying !

Would it be possible for you to work from home, answering phone, mailshotting, processing orders etc ?

Couthy. I expect to get "Shot" for this. Regarding you GCSEs.

I have never seen or heard anyone demand Gcse Certificates for anyone over 30 for a non Educational Job, I.E Teaching or Government Social Work.

By the standards of normal people ( NOT THE POST GRADUATED EDUCATED PEOPLE WHO ONLY REPRESENT 5- 7% OF THE POPULATION WHO IS EVERYBODY ON THIS SITE).

Your English and Grammar is Excellent, if you put on a application form you had a C or a B in GCSE Maths/ English Science no Employer would even question it. I say this as an ex employer who had Managers on £ 30K PA , who had nothing like your level of competence with English or Grammar.

Soul, I wish I could agree with you, but unfortunately, I HAVE had employers check, and I have been unable to even get a shop job locally in the last 5 years without GCSE's.

It really is a necessity.

Have practised my CA write up and done another load of washing. Ok, last night's washing up is still sitting there, but it'll get done at some point today!!

5 minutes, then off to collect DS3 from preschool...

I am looking at working from home, as I think it would be easier to work around my issues and the DC's issues, but I am unsure what to look for, as I need to earn the equivalent of 24 hrs @ NMW each week before I qualify for TC's.

Couthy. I think Employers are "Discriminating" against you , Based on your Disability . I think you should "Demand to see the Certificates of all the staff who have similar roles to the one's you are applying for.

You will see that is impossible for any company to show you that, the Company will hide behind (DATA PROTECTION ACT) the real story is most if not all of the staff have or can prove their qualifications.

The Company or Companies are looking for any reason they can not to employ you by asking for evidence of qualifications. They would not reasonably ask a 40 year old to supply GCSE Certificates from 1990 for a low or Medium paid job, otherwise the majority of the work force would be deemed unemployable , and the country would come to a standstill.

I haven't declared my disabilities at interview since it became legal not to, so there is no chance of discrimination on that ground, soul.

With 300+ applicants for every entry level job here, and being over 21, I am already disadvantaged because they have to pay me a higher NMW. When you bear in mind that the majority of these applicants WILL have GCSE certificates to take with them to interview, I'm not going to get the job, as I have found out.

I'll get there, it's just an additional stress I could do without, but needs must.

And even worse, I'm tied to this area by Court Order until DS3 is 8...so another 15 years to go! Mostly because my Ex cannot pass a test due to the severity of his dyspraxia, and he does have a high level of contact that would not be possible to maintain if I even moved 30 miles away.

So, I'm trying to find ways around the barriers I have to employment, rather than seeing them as insurmountable. Which they probably are, but I'll give it a bloody good shot!

That should read : until DS3 is 18.

I would have only left school in 1997, so maybe that's why? Plus my school is local to the area I currently live in, so it's easy enough for prospective employers to ask the school to check their computerised records. Apparently my school year was the first year that that school holds computerised records for...

As I found out when an employer took me to task for fibbing on my CV.

Couthy I have been following this thread and I just wanted to say that you are a really inspirational lady.

I have been following your thread and want to say I'm in a position like yours but my daughter is now 16 and I have had to tell ss that I can't have my son living at home any more as I can't cope physically and mentally with him any more .My ds behaviour has destroyed my self my dp and my 8yr old dd , my ds has been staying with my parents for the past month (ds choice as he didn't want to follow the rules) my parents cannot cope with my ds behaviour and I can't I feel like the worst mum in the world but he needs more help that I can't give him so completely understand how you are feeling please pm me if you want a chat

Couthy. The situation regarding Minimum Wage is desperate, because a 18-20 Year Old only earns £ 5.03 P.HR as opposed to £6.31 P.HR for over 21 , Osborne Proposed £ 7 Per Hour Idea although right in principle will in theory make it harder for over 21 ones to get employment.

As it stands at the moment Companies by employing 18-20 Year Olds save themselves £63.88 Per Week based on a 37 HR Week. The Companies don't give a toss about providing good service to customers or loyalty from their staff.

The worst bit about this is usually the worst payers are the Companies who could afford to pay staff more "THE MULTI NATIONALS". The local or family owned businesses , try to pay "Living Wages" but in the end can't because Business rates/ Rents Vat and being undercut by big boys force them out of business.

I really feel for you Couthy , "Keep Battling away" you luck will Change, and Good Fortune will come to you in the end.....

Best Wishes Soul 2000.....

Will In Practice make it harder for Over 21s to get employment...

Fitted in a couple of hours sleep as DS3 actually had a nap today, still feeling green around the gills, too. DS1 and DS2 were both napping too, DS1 has only been sick twice, DS2 however doesn't seem to be improving. He's got a temperature too.

Will grab something to eat, then I'm going to ring DD. No news on PPM still, and no news about what's happening r.e. The victim surcharge and legal costs. Will pursue those in more detail tomorrow.

Still not had any physical contact with DD, as we haven't had the PPM where that would be discussed. Getting a bit antsy as have lots of other appointments this week, so goodness knows when they will drop the PPM on me, and how much (or little) notice I will get.

It's hard enough to arrange Childcare as it is, when the only option for DS3 is my Ex-MIL. W hen I have other DC's with tummy bugs, that becomes a no-no as Ex-FIL has diabetes, and a stomach bug wrecks havoc on his blood sugar control.

And Ex is in the position where he would rather make his Dad ill than take time off work. Which leaves ME having to make executive decisions over Ex-FIL's health, because Ex-MIL will put herself at risk of transferring something if Ex tells/asks her to.

Yet someone else to be responsible for, and one more thing to worry about...

Couthy I'm delurking just to say that you've been incredibly strong and very admirable in all of this

soul2000 given that the introduction of minimum wage in 1999 didn't cause an increase in unemployment, and youth unemployment is much higher than general unemployment, I really don't think your ideas about the different rates of MW really hold much water.

Taking a combative approach is unlikely to get Couthy anywhere either - the employer has plenty of other reasons that they could give, other than disability discrimination e.g. no qualifications, not enough relevant work experience, work experience not recent enough etc. and proving disability discrimination is pretty much impossible unless the employer puts it in writing that they're not taking you on because you're disabled.

Couthy would be much better off finding some suitable volunteering e.g. in a charity shop. This will show prospective employers that she

• has recent work experience
• knows how to use a till, work a stock room etc.
• is physically capable
• can work with customers (even stroppy ones - ha!)

and it would also provide her with a good reference to take forwards.

The issue is, I'm not able to volunteer due to a) Childcare issues, and b) I'm NOT physically capable to do shop work now, hence trying to get some quals in something I can do seated - I have arthritis as well as the epilepsy.

This is all an aside to the purpose of the thread though, my College work was merely mentioned as it is an additional stress at points when my life is already rather full. Work is a way in the future, at least another 2 years, and even then will only be PT whatever I do, due both to my own health issues, and those of my DS3 in particular. He will not be able to attend after school clubs etc, as he will require FT 1-2-1 to attend school. So whatever work I do will have to be 9.30-2.30, weekdays only, term time only, EOW, and evenings after he is in bed...

Like I said, I'm trying, but that will never be a guarantee of the ability to support myself given the issues in my family.