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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Ds1 having LOUD sex and I have had to tell them to shut up...

133 replies

lilibet · 11/03/2012 18:48

Blush

Honestly!! I love my ds1 very much but there is no 18 year old boy born who could make a girl shriek like that.

She is from the Meg Ryan school of sex noises but AMPLIFIED

I also can't beleive the brass neck of her - she faced us all afterwards without even a blush.

It's not the first time either, we weren't in a while back and dd (23) and ds2 (15) could hear her down stairs. Ds2 went and banked on the door and said "Do you mind, some of us are trying to revise" God Bless Him!!

I had a word with them then but it's not stopped them, they now can't be in his room with the door closed.

They don't prepare you for conversations like this at antenatal classes

OP posts:
cakeismysaviour · 12/03/2012 14:43

I think it sounds like you have handled the situation well, OP. You have spoken to them about it and asked them to stop it and your DS2 has asked them to be quiet too. The fact that they continued after your talk is very disrespectful, but hopefully the 'no closed door' policy will work better!

If they go back to being this disrespectful after this, than I would be saying that she can't stay over and can't go up to his room. She can still be welcome in your home, but she can stay in the family rooms.

SebastionTheCrab · 14/03/2012 12:59

I also agree that the OP has handled the situation well and I agree with all the above cakeismysaviour has said.
Also as a previous poster has said it is sad that teenagers today know so much about sex through the porn industry. Thinking that that is normal sexual behaviour (obviously it may be normal for some) is very depressing and puts a lot of undue pressure on teenagers. Christ, there was enough pressure when we were teenagers!

jshibbyr · 15/03/2012 22:26

what happened to the bloke covering your mouth with something, tbh i'd completely embarace them, scare her off and not let her round... thats what my dad did to one of my ex's and well that was just for being in the same bed let alone actually doing it, after that i did it while he was out, and also did the same for going round his (that was the boyfriend afterward) its purely out of respect and i didn't want to upset my dad, granted my ex's mum did walk in while we were doing naughty things but she laughed and then had a quiet word with him after i left to wait till she wasn't there :P
i wouldn't let him have the girl round unless they promise to do it when the house is empty or do it in a field explain its very disrespectful and he wouldn't like it if you were making loud sex (most embarassing thing ever hearing your parents)
if they start making noises burst in on them (if theres a lock on the door take it off)

mockingjay · 16/03/2012 03:28

none of your business unless they make it so, the secondcoming!

TotallyLaLa · 16/03/2012 11:09

I've been having a bad day but looking at this thread has actually made me laugh out loud at my pc (sorry OP Blush ). I now think that I may need to invest in some Tena Ladies when I come on here :o :o :o

Oh god - this is going to come back to haunt me as am dreading the day this could actually happen to me.

PS - ANy chance your DS could come show my DS how to use the hoover???? Hmm

ReshapeWhileDamp · 16/03/2012 16:55

I think you're being very graceful under fire, OP. Smile You're sensible about it, have laid down ground-rules and you know they're using contraception. I think it's great that they have somewhere safe and legal to go. Shame they had to spoil it all with faked orgasms. Grin

FluffyBunnyWunnyMummyKins · 16/03/2012 17:08

Start blasting Barry White whenever she comes over...

Grin
Gigondas · 16/03/2012 17:12

This is brilliant Grin

chocolateandcoffee · 16/03/2012 17:26

this thread is brilliant, Really cheered up a crap day.

I agree with brightspark record them and play it very loudly when they are around.

MsIngaFewmarbles · 16/03/2012 17:48

OMG how mortifying for you.

DH and I are in out 30s and wont have sex if we stay at ILs place, it's just disrespectful. Having said that, MIL (god bless her) got pissed at Christmas and pulled me and SIL aside and told us that she was happy for us to have sex, we mustn't be worried about offending them etc etc. I could have died Blush

How do they have the brass neck to do it, and loudly? Blimey.

voddiekeepsmesane · 16/03/2012 19:45

The fact that they are 17 and 18 having sex under my roof wouldn't bother me I don't think (she says with ds only 7!) But the disrespect when you have already asked them to be quiet about it would get to me.

helenthemadex · 16/03/2012 22:56

I have to say Im quite impressed with gf, I was a lot older before I learnt to fake it Grin

rinabean · 16/03/2012 23:07

God there are some prudes on this thread. I didn't know the victorians had internet access - or time machines.

Yes, you don't want to hear them have sex. Tell them to do what they'll have to do if they ever move into a flat of their own - put some music on.

I can't believe all these references to "the female" (wouldn't be surprised if these are mothers of sons who'll be posting soon, if not already, about how their meanie DILs hate them and they don't know why) and how she's "faking it" (some women have real orgasms even when young, does it make you that envious?) and how to threaten her with telling her mother (because she's a woman enjoying sex and that's shameful and she should be terrified that her parents will know? wtf?)

What miserable sex lives you must have if the idea of people having good sex annoys you, not simply the prospect of hearing it when you don't want to. Really pathetic.

stleger · 16/03/2012 23:31

I agree with rinabean. I find the 'ridiculous girlfriend' comments fairly disrespectful. I have a 20 year old ds, and an 18 year old dd1, and try to remember they are adults; and it will be a long time before they can afford to move out permanently.

totallypearshaped · 16/03/2012 23:46

Watch 'Easy A', with Emma Stone - very funny 'sex' scene in that - lots of wailing.... could they be just winding you up!?

totallypearshaped · 16/03/2012 23:50

I agree with rinabean and stledger who say that it's very disrespectful of posters to call the 18 yo woman a 'ridiculous girlfriend. She's a woman, having sex and enjoying it - deal with it.

Watch out tsk-ing posters, you are turning into mother in laws from hell.

suburbophobe · 17/03/2012 00:05

She's a woman, having sex and enjoying it - deal with it.

Well, if she's having screaming sex she should deal with it in her OWN home!

Very disrespectful to be like that in someone else's house with other occupants there, in my view.
ESPECIALLY at your boyfriend's parents house FFS! (has she no shame?!).

I am talking as a single mum of a 20 year old who often had his girlfriend over for the night. Never no disrespect to the others in the building.

Sounds like she's showing off.

You could always tell her she's setting herself up to be the laughing stock around town soon enough... Grin

totallypearshaped · 17/03/2012 00:16

Well that's the point suburbophole - she has no shame - and why should she have any? And why are women posters here saying she should... it makes no sense to me unless they think sex is a shameful thing and she must be faking it (like they do).
Maybe it's envy for her enthusiasm and energy! She's enjoying herself, is that such a bad thing? Do you really begrudge her that experience? or should she hang her head in shame and never have an orgasm and put up with a shit lover who gives her a quick one in the bus shelter?

fabwoman · 17/03/2012 17:58

Come off it! Hmm

You are being ridiculous now saying some posters are faking it.

No one needs or wants to hear anyone else having sex and it is good manners to keep the noise down when others are in the house.

She is being silly and ridiculous as she is coming across as immature as she hasn't learnt manners about staying reasonably quiet when you are shagging in someone elses house.

stleger · 17/03/2012 18:37

Maybe the immaturity and inexperience is to do with being 18?

Tortington · 17/03/2012 18:40

ive had this conversation with ds2.

i literally shouted upstairs " shut the fuck up" and then later i said to DS " if me and your dad can fuck quietly so you dont have to hear, i expect the same courtesy"

CalamityKate · 17/03/2012 18:40

I think it's disrespectful of both of them and TBH if you've had a word and they're still doing it, it smacks of attention-seeking.

I think any mention of it, other than making it clear that they need to go elsewhere or wait until the house is empty, will delight them.

HOMEMADECHUTNEY · 18/03/2012 00:35

Can't believe the brass neck of the girlfriend, or your son. Struggling to imagine what situation would actually embarrass them!

The utter lack of respect is mind-boggling.

BitchyNoMore · 18/03/2012 01:42

if me and your dad can fuck quietly so you dont have to hear, i expect the same courtesy" Grin

empirestateofmind · 18/03/2012 01:54

I agree with CalamityKate and Chutney that is is the reaction to your very reasonable request that is outrageous, not the original behaviour.

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