Ds1 having LOUD sex and I have had to tell them to shut up...

[lilibet]

Honestly!! I love my ds1 very much but there is no 18 year old boy born who could make a girl shriek like that.

She is from the Meg Ryan school of sex noises but AMPLIFIED

I also can't beleive the brass neck of her - she faced us all afterwards without even a blush.

It's not the first time either, we weren't in a while back and dd (23) and ds2 (15) could hear her down stairs. Ds2 went and banked on the door and said "Do you mind, some of us are trying to revise" God Bless Him!!

I had a word with them then but it's not stopped them, they now can't be in his room with the door closed.

They don't prepare you for conversations like this at antenatal classes

[DaSmallPunsMum]

I disagree with MarthaAnxiety, it makes no sense to teach your sons or daughters that sex is something unnatural or 'rude' enough that they have to do it in some seedy motel or send a weird message by it being ok to do at their girlfriend or boyfriends house but not at yours. It's just about communicating about noise and about not doing it if anyone is in.

[DaSmallPunsMum]

@mathanxiety I disagree, it makes no sense to teach your sons or daughters that sex is something unnatural or 'rude' enough that they have to do it in some seedy motel or send a weird message by it being ok to do at their girlfriend or boyfriends house but not at yours. It's just about communicating about noise and about not doing it if anyone is in.

[DaSmallPunsMum]

Why not just speak to her about it woman to woman, that would surely be more embarrassing and freak her out enough to stop.

[mathanxiety]

'I don't have to worry about this.
No self-respecting girl would ever go into ds1's room.'

As this thread shows, it's the ones with no self respect you need to worry about, Maryz.

OP, when you gave your DS permission to have sex under your roof you lost this game. They need to get a room of their own and pay for it. Motels are reasonably sound proofed. Having to wait until you have a bed in a bedroom you rent to do your courting in is a really good way to motivate older teens. The DCs' sex life is none of my business and conducting it elsewhere keeps it that way.

[flow4]

Lilibet, it sounds like you (and your other kids) are handling a tricky situation well enough. :)

Like you say, there is no preparation for these things... I walked in on a half-naked stranger/girl in my bathroom a fortnight ago. I backed out, and when she came out and introduced herself, the best I could manage was "Pleased to meet you, Amy". When my half-naked son followed, all I could think of saying to him was "Is she 16 and have you got condoms?"

You just have to improvise best you can, dontcha?!

As for those of you taking the "has she no shame?" line here, I'd say "NO, and GOOD for her"! Why would you want her - or them - to have shame, fgs? You want them to have a bit more consideration, that's all - not shame!

Btw, she may not be faking it OP. I was lucky enough to enjoy sex as a teen, and I definitely remember being shushed by my embarrassed boyfriend in his bed. It was very, very difficult to be quiet, and it took me a while to learn... If you're respectful towards her, as my boyfriend's mum was towards me, she'll try to return the favour :)

[teapot5]

I LOVE this thread. We are going through a really shxx time at the moment with DD1 (17) seriously wanting to move out (SS, CAMHS, GP - you name it - everybody involved now) and DD2 is hurt, upset, blaming us and thus playing up big time. It's all very upsetting and sad.

Anyway this thread makes me laugh. Thank you!!

[nizlopi]

Seems like a waste to make sex noises without having sex.

[lilmamma]

I think its an age thing,i was woken the other night with the headboard going,god help next door as it was banging on their wall,but saying that they are just as bad.it was my dd and her boyfriend,i was mortified,but they are both 18 and i supose its only natural..

Next morning i said to them,hope the headbard is still in one piece and walked out,they both looked at me with :O espressions :)

[empirestateofmind]

I agree with CalamityKate and Chutney that is is the reaction to your very reasonable request that is outrageous, not the original behaviour.

[BitchyNoMore]

if me and your dad can fuck quietly so you dont have to hear, i expect the same courtesy"

[HOMEMADECHUTNEY]

Can't believe the brass neck of the girlfriend, or your son. Struggling to imagine what situation would actually embarrass them!

The utter lack of respect is mind-boggling.

[CalamityKate]

I think it's disrespectful of both of them and TBH if you've had a word and they're still doing it, it smacks of attention-seeking.

I think any mention of it, other than making it clear that they need to go elsewhere or wait until the house is empty, will delight them.

[Tortington]

ive had this conversation with ds2.

i literally shouted upstairs " shut the fuck up" and then later i said to DS " if me and your dad can fuck quietly so you dont have to hear, i expect the same courtesy"

[stleger]

Maybe the immaturity and inexperience is to do with being 18?

[fabwoman]

Come off it!

You are being ridiculous now saying some posters are faking it.

No one needs or wants to hear anyone else having sex and it is good manners to keep the noise down when others are in the house.

She is being silly and ridiculous as she is coming across as immature as she hasn't learnt manners about staying reasonably quiet when you are shagging in someone elses house.

[totallypearshaped]

Well that's the point suburbophole - she has no shame - and why should she have any? And why are women posters here saying she should... it makes no sense to me unless they think sex is a shameful thing and she must be faking it (like they do).
Maybe it's envy for her enthusiasm and energy! She's enjoying herself, is that such a bad thing? Do you really begrudge her that experience? or should she hang her head in shame and never have an orgasm and put up with a shit lover who gives her a quick one in the bus shelter?

[suburbophobe]

She's a woman, having sex and enjoying it - deal with it.

Well, if she's having screaming sex she should deal with it in her OWN home!

Very disrespectful to be like that in someone else's house with other occupants there, in my view.
ESPECIALLY at your boyfriend's parents house FFS! (has she no shame?!).

I am talking as a single mum of a 20 year old who often had his girlfriend over for the night. Never no disrespect to the others in the building.

Sounds like she's showing off.

You could always tell her she's setting herself up to be the laughing stock around town soon enough...

[totallypearshaped]

I agree with rinabean and stledger who say that it's very disrespectful of posters to call the 18 yo woman a 'ridiculous girlfriend. She's a woman, having sex and enjoying it - deal with it.

Watch out tsk-ing posters, you are turning into mother in laws from hell.

[totallypearshaped]

Watch 'Easy A', with Emma Stone - very funny 'sex' scene in that - lots of wailing.... could they be just winding you up!?

[stleger]

I agree with rinabean. I find the 'ridiculous girlfriend' comments fairly disrespectful. I have a 20 year old ds, and an 18 year old dd1, and try to remember they are adults; and it will be a long time before they can afford to move out permanently.

[rinabean]

God there are some prudes on this thread. I didn't know the victorians had internet access - or time machines.

Yes, you don't want to hear them have sex. Tell them to do what they'll have to do if they ever move into a flat of their own - put some music on.

I can't believe all these references to "the female" (wouldn't be surprised if these are mothers of sons who'll be posting soon, if not already, about how their meanie DILs hate them and they don't know why) and how she's "faking it" (some women have real orgasms even when young, does it make you that envious?) and how to threaten her with telling her mother (because she's a woman enjoying sex and that's shameful and she should be terrified that her parents will know? wtf?)

What miserable sex lives you must have if the idea of people having good sex annoys you, not simply the prospect of hearing it when you don't want to. Really pathetic.

[helenthemadex]

I have to say Im quite impressed with gf, I was a lot older before I learnt to fake it

[voddiekeepsmesane]

The fact that they are 17 and 18 having sex under my roof wouldn't bother me I don't think (she says with ds only 7!) But the disrespect when you have already asked them to be quiet about it would get to me.

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

OMG how mortifying for you.

DH and I are in out 30s and wont have sex if we stay at ILs place, it's just disrespectful. Having said that, MIL (god bless her) got pissed at Christmas and pulled me and SIL aside and told us that she was happy for us to have sex, we mustn't be worried about offending them etc etc. I could have died

How do they have the brass neck to do it, and loudly? Blimey.

[chocolateandcoffee]

this thread is brilliant, Really cheered up a crap day.

I agree with brightspark record them and play it very loudly when they are around.