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Tattoos

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Original poster

AIBU to ask bridesmaid to hide her tattoos

159 replies

Carolinesyear · 28/10/2021 15:24

My best friend is getting married in the summer and it's to be the dream wedding, she is taking it all very seriously. She is to have 4 bridesmaids one of whom is her fiancé's sister, said sister loves body art and they have been getting progressively larger and more over the top, the latest one is HUGE, takes up her entire arm, it is a coloured one of a celebrity (I attach a photo of a similar tattoo but not the same, just for scale)
My friend wants to ask her future SIL to cover her arms for the wedding as she thinks they'll ruin the photos, ie with a sleeved dress or belero. I feel this is a bit bride-zilla of her but kind of get her point about the photos. I thought this would be an interesting Mumsnet question
Is she being unreasonable?
Hehe let rip!

AIBU to ask bridesmaid to hide her tattoos
OP posts:
GTAlogic · 28/10/2021 19:31

Yabu/the bride ibu. A wedding isn't a photoshoot; the photos are meant to be a record of an important event and to capture parts of the day that may otherwise be forgotten. A wedding is meant to be a party to celebrate formalising a relationship and is supposed to be fun, enjoyable and spent with close friends and family.

If you/the bride wants a photoshoot then arrange one with a load of models. Don't piss off your friends and family by telling them to hide parts of their body because you/she doesn't think they're good or pretty or aesthetically pleasing enough.

Memyselfandfood · 28/10/2021 19:39

@Babdoc

I am retired, so maybe have a different view of tattoos to the current generation of brides/bridesmaids, but I think my relatives would have been horrified by seeing them in wedding photos. They used to be associated with sailors or convicts, and totally unacceptable on women in polite society! Even five years ago, before I retired as a doctor, some of my colleagues referred to tattoos on the lower back, (where we wanted to insert epidurals) as “tramp stamps”. Surely as it’s the bride’s big day, she gets to call the shots on what she wants in her photos? I’d either get the bridesmaid to cover them, or check with the photographer in advance that he could edit them out digitally.
Wow what a disgusting comment. Really glad a lot of doctors now don’t share this opinion.
Bimblybomeyelash · 28/10/2021 19:43

It’s nice to have nice photos, but it’s not the point of the day. How often do people look at their wedding photos? I imagine for
most people that if they have a photo displayed it is probably just of the happy couple anyway.

BrilliantBetty · 28/10/2021 19:44

Is it Jim Carey in the mask?!

Sorry haven't read the full thread but it would be rude and inappropriate for her to ask bridesmaid to cover this up.

I don't much like tattoos but it's not for anyone to ask another to put them out of sight. And why does it matter so much. It doesn't take anything away from how the bride looks.

ShaneTheThird · 28/10/2021 19:46

Just tell the bride to Photoshop the photos after if she's that arsed.

ArrrMeHearties · 28/10/2021 19:48

I have 3 tattoos on my arms and my dsis is getting married next year and doesn't care at all that I have tattoos or that they will feature in the wedding pics. Just like they will be on show at my own wedding

TheBlackHeart · 28/10/2021 19:53

[quote Couchbettato]@TheBlackHeart, if it was for my personal collection then I'd edit what I damn well wanted. The bridesmaids can have the unedited versions.

Who wouldn't edit out a badly done pedo Michael Jackson out of their wedding photos???

Honestly not something I'd want to remember on the happiest day of my life.[/quote]
Try reading 😂 OP has said that's NOT the tattoo in question.

Lookatmoiploise · 28/10/2021 19:54

All I can say is that I hope that like you your friends are retired

Me too

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/10/2021 20:51

Bear in mind that the tattoos she has now may not be as many as the number she has by the time of the wedding.

I'm thinking of somebody who went from a rubbish collection of random things in random places to a full tribal chestpiece in 3 months and within another four, had decided that what she actually needed/wanted was full throat and neck coverage, together with a dagger over her left eyebrow and what might have been a feather looked like a drowned caterpillar over her right. All her absolute right, as was the decision to shave her head and get further tattoos on her scalp six weeks later, but the speed of change might have been a little startling for a bride.

MissAlquist · 28/10/2021 22:04

Hmmm... SIL will most likely still have the same tattoos in 20 years time, maybe more, maybe have a re-ink or cover up. She will still be the same woman. I'm divorced and still have some of my wedding photos, mainly because half the people in them have died in the intervening years. I'm glad they were there, I'm glad they are still there in my photos. Personal expression is far preferable to not having the person around at all. If I had to ask, I think I'd ask the SIL what dress shape she would be choosing and how would it complement her tattoos. Lace and ink, for instance, can be stunning together. She might choose to cover them for the ceremony and bare all for the bash, or she might want to show them off. If she's comfortable and happy with her appearance, it'll show in the photos. If she isn't, it'll show in the photos

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 28/10/2021 22:08

I think she is BU. Ultimately it’s her SIL who will look like her SIL. I don’t see how it will ruin the photos really. Even if it is hugely hugely prominent most people don’t have loads of photos up around the house of wedding photos except those of them and their DH/DW.

Gardenlass · 28/10/2021 22:13

@Babdoc

I am retired, so maybe have a different view of tattoos to the current generation of brides/bridesmaids, but I think my relatives would have been horrified by seeing them in wedding photos. They used to be associated with sailors or convicts, and totally unacceptable on women in polite society! Even five years ago, before I retired as a doctor, some of my colleagues referred to tattoos on the lower back, (where we wanted to insert epidurals) as “tramp stamps”. Surely as it’s the bride’s big day, she gets to call the shots on what she wants in her photos? I’d either get the bridesmaid to cover them, or check with the photographer in advance that he could edit them out digitally.
I am almost 70 and I feel exactly the sane. When I was young, tatoos were not considered to be socially acceptable. They have become more mainstream now, but for me they still have negative connotations and I wouldn't like seeing them on wedding photos.
Screwcorona · 28/10/2021 22:17

I'd find it offensive. My sister got angry at me for getting a skull tattoo on my arm. I got it because I wanted it and the timing had nothing to do with her wedding but she got funny with me.

I reminded her that the pictures including me in will be what I look like for the rest of forever now I have it. Looking back she admits she went a bit bridezilla

stopblowingyournose · 28/10/2021 22:24

@Carolinesyear

Hehe it's not M.J but not someone like the usual Marilyn Monroe. Think... mr bean. I don't want to be too specific as I'm worried it gets outed somehow
Mr bean!!! Mr bean!!! That's a whole new issue 😂😂😂
Hippychick2 · 28/10/2021 22:53

If she has a word with the photographer in advance a skilled one would be able to position the SIL within the photos so that the tattoo isn’t showing
Failing that - have you not heard of photoshop😂😂

NoDecentHandlesLeft · 28/10/2021 23:01

Thinking who is sort of like Mr. Bean... I'm imaging a massive Rik Mayall sleeve!

TrickyD · 28/10/2021 23:04

Memyselfandfood, you objected to Babdoc’s post:
“Wow what a disgusting comment.
Really glad a lot of doctors now don’t share this opinion.”

What makes you think they don’t?

I recently read a comment from a doctor “The quantity of tattoos is usually inversely proportional to the patient’s intelligence”.

Allmyprettyones · 28/10/2021 23:09

@TrickyD

Memyselfandfood, you objected to Babdoc’s post: “Wow what a disgusting comment. Really glad a lot of doctors now don’t share this opinion.”

What makes you think they don’t?

I recently read a comment from a doctor “The quantity of tattoos is usually inversely proportional to the patient’s intelligence”.

Ah, so they're judgmental twats like you.
tattychicken · 28/10/2021 23:34

Jimmy Saville?

WTF475878237NC · 29/10/2021 03:39

Even five years ago, before I retired as a doctor, some of my colleagues referred to tattoos on the lower back, (where we wanted to insert epidurals) as “tramp stamps”.

^ I still hear this phrase used even by people who have them (both those who do and don't regret it).

Very few people I know have full sleeves or prominent tattoos so I can imagine the bride feeling quite unlucky here that her SIL has just got this. Perhaps a smaller one, or one on the foot or shoulder or back wouldn't be a problem to the bride necessarily, it seems like it is just the size and nature of this particular tattoo that the bride really doesn't want to capture forever.

Whstdoyouthink · 29/10/2021 03:48

Photographer can touch them on for the photos afterwards

sashh · 29/10/2021 05:34

Is it possible for the fiance to have a quiet word with his sister?

I'm a coward so I would probably go down the photoshop route and lie, say some of the older relatives asked for them to be photoshopped but the photographer did them all.

BorderlineHappy · 29/10/2021 08:39

Is it possible for the fiance to have a quiet word with his sister?
@sashh
Really you want a man to have a word with the little woman and see if she can be told what to do.

I really dont get the judgement of tattoos.Im sure the sil is a lovely,kind woman.Thats why @Carolinesyear asked her to be BM.

@Babdoc i was in hospital recetnly and the amount of drs and nurses with tattoos was great to see.
And if you think people with tattoos are criminals.
Well i would rahter be that than an old sanctimonious two faced witch like you.

AosSi · 29/10/2021 08:51

I'm really amused by all the "ooh doctors think tattoos are classless" comments. What does it matter what doctors think? They aren't some rarified breed of human, superior to us. What they think doesn't matter any more than what baristas or binmen or hairdressers think.

TheBlackHeart · 29/10/2021 09:31

Really you want a man to have a word with the little woman and see if she can be told what to do

Yep. Disgusting.