How do I tell the gp the mess I'm in

[pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit]

I'm hugely dependent on codeine, it is prescribed but I take way over what I'm meant to 500-600mg daily which means I run out early every time. This means I can't taper done properly because I run out then have to buy otc and then it starts again. My husband has forced me to call the gp and tell them, I'm just waiting for them to call. I'm terrified though. Terrified they're going to call ss on me. I'm a normal person, I'm not a druggie on the streets, I'm not a scumbag, I'm a young mother of 3 kids who are my whole life.
I have my own home, job, husband etc but I am addicted to codeine through being prescribed them years ago for back pain which was never investigated. I now know that back issue is a herniated disc and it causes sciatica. I can't stop taking them as I get horrible withdrawal symptoms and I can't function. Please help me I don't know what I'm meant to do

GPs can prescribe buprenorphine patches (for pin at least), my wife was on them

I like your comment, a dig and hidden with concern!

Yeah for anyone wondering when I had my daughter I was nowhere near as bad as I am now and managed to cut down to the normal amount each day, the doctors kept me on the tablets due to my back issues getting worse in pregnancy (as they would do with that extra load) so she was fine when she was born with no withdrawals.
I was also told many times by doctors and midwifes it's heroin etc they worry about and barely batted an eyelid when I told them I was taking codeine

Medical negligence you were prescribed pain killers for back pain, good luck with your complaint 🧐 you've shown you can manage your addiction as you were able to reduce as required when you were pregnant 🤰 I'm sure you can do it again if you want to!

@Justalittlenaughty Two reviews in 6 years, prescribed 224 tablets every 2 weeks, I think I have grounds to complain. I've also been told that by the clinic aswell.
When I reduced before I wasn't taking anywhere near the amount I am now. It's the last 7 months it's become this much and spiralled out of control.
Why am I even bothering to reply to you, just go away if you've got nothing helpful to say.

I’ve been following your thread and this is the first time I’ve commented. Well done on getting that support and I hope you manage to get clean. Moving past an addiction is hard but very doable.

But despite all your posts, this is the first time I’ve been surprised by what you’ve said. Own your actions OP. No one forced you to be taking so much, and no one forced you to take so much for so long. This is on you, no one else. Addicts have a tendency to blame everyone but themselves for why they’re on drugs and why they can’t stop taking them, but ultimately, it’s on them. Focus on your recovery rather than pointing fingers elsewhere.

@Aysegull Thank you.

I think of you read all my posts you'll see I have accepted blame for my own actions, quite a few times, I have admitted I have self mediated and that's what's drove me to the point I'm at now.
But, if doctors wasn't handing them out like sweeties to people then they wouldn't be able to take the high amounts in the first place. Do you not think? How is it okay to prescribe over 400 tablets per month and then say to a person, these are highly addictive painkillers, only stick to 8 a day ? It's not going to happen is it, not for a person with mental health issues anyway. How is it okay not to have reviews every 6 months as per the nice guidelines ? 2 in 6 years is not acceptable. So I can of course put some blame on the medical professionals who were supposed to be overseeing my care. I never once put 100% of the blame on them, just some.

Hi OP, dipping back in to see how you're doing. So it seems you'll be doing a codeine only taper? The drug/alcohol services not prepared to prescribe subutex (while GP prescribes codeine)? A taper from codeine honestly isn't too uncomfortable, so subutex may not have benefitted too much anyway. Well done not allowing that to put you off.

I picked up on the shift towards placing blame somewhere. My feelings are, if you're placing blame elsewhere, it's difficult to really get to grips with the addiction, and your responsibility to yourself to learn how to manage it. Because The Blame gives you permission to carry on. Whether HCPs are to blame or not, is not the thing to focus on right now.

A sudden flurry of shitty posts (complete with sadfaces 🙄), don't take it on board. Some people want to sabotage anything they can.

oakleaffy, may I ask, do you work in recovery services yourself? Apologies if you stated so upthread and I missed it.

I don't get the feeling you're an addict, but I could be wrong. You seem to know nearly as much about opiate addiction as I do though.

@Quacksalver Hi

I'm down to 18 codeine tablets a day, plus up and down with the otc, some days I'll only have 4, others more, but I'm going down slowly on the codeine tablets and I'm trying to just focus on that, I'm doing better than I was a couple of weeks ago. I'm kind of glad I wasn't prescribed the subotex now.

I'm going away over Christmas so I hope to be completely off it by then 🤞🤞
Still can't believe the mess I've got in with this medication. But it just shows how easy it can happen and how it also sneaks up on you, before I knew it I was having to take more and more of the stuff and here I am

Great news OP. Keep going.

I wanted to come on and just say a huge thankyou to the op for posting this.

Since reading your story about 2 weeks ago maybe more I have found the courage and the strength to stop taking co-codamol.

I started taking them about 8year ago prescribed by the doctor but also taking extra from my Mum. I started by taking 2 at night as I found them euphoric and helped me sleep.

Gradually I found myself taking 2 in the morning to get me started for the day and gradually it increased.

I knew I had a problem about 2 years ago as I would run out of the prescription and have to buy extra off people.

The codeine no longer gave me that fuzzy feeling anymore and I thought what was the point.

Reading all the advice I have tapered down gradually over the past few weeks and I am glad to say that I am now 7 days since taking any codeine.

I still think about it everyday. But I feel proud of myself and I am determined never to take codeine again.

I wish you the best of luck, I have had some side effects since stopping but not half as bad as what I was afraid of.

Thank you again for sharing x

So glad to see a good update. I'm taking codeine as well, maybe two weeks out a month. It was originally for pain, and I still have pain, but it's starting to feel rubbish when I haven't got them, to the extent I can't get anything done. Reading your posts has made me rethink things

Just popping in to say hi OP, I'll be the 3rd post in-a-row to thank you again for being brave and posting.

Not been strong enough to make any changes myself but am taking in all the information and insight... x

We hide in plain sight!

@pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit Surprised the clinic didn't give Subbies- maybe they felt a slow codeine taper would be best - GP's can and do prescribe buprenorphine, but maybe different regions have different rules and regulations.

It's doable to reduce codeine slowly, probably easier than having to reduce subbies down the line.

So you've worked in recovery services (in the past?) I encountered similar attitudes many years ago in rehab ( break the addict down, build them up) Is that appropriate online though? I didn't even feel it was appropriate when I experienced it, (and still look back on it in shock) and it probably hindered my recovery by several years.

close family member Diamorphine script. Won’t say more.

Ah ok thanks for explanation. I expect that's challenging. I can understand your frustration with addicts now. Wishing your loved one sobriety.

Hey OP, hope you're well. Just wanted to reach out and remind you you're not alone. I can hardly believe it, it's happened so fast, but I'm struggling really bad right now. Hope you're feeling better than I am. Just wanna get through it and not let it happen again

Hi
Thanks for your kind words. You sound like you're struggling ? How many are you taking in 24 hours ? It's a sneaky thing addiction, I denied I was addicted for so long, but now I can say I'm an addict to my dh without feeling shame, well I do feel shame, but I'm starting to understand how I've got to this point. And I'm glad I have kept the same mind set of wanting to stop...

I'm due to go down to 16 a day from today. I'm taking on average around 10-12 otc a day so I haven't been able to knock that on the head just yet but I have definitely cut down as before it was 20 otc a day and 20 codeine, so there is some progress. My problem is finding something to give me that natural high, I'm a busy mum to 2 under 2 so I am busy all the time but it's not giving me a natural buzz if that makes sense ? My key worker said I need to fill that gap

@pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit That sounds like great progress. Well done, and I mean that. How are you feeling emotionally with it all ?

I don't really know what I'm taking, but I don't think it's that much, and it's only been this bad very recently so I'm confused... well, let's see... I've taken almost 100 dhc in a week. I'm on my last dose waiting in my bedroom cupboard in my box and I am terrified

Maybe it's to do with me going off my psych meds, the chemical imbalance, I just feel like I can't cope without them right now

I only got so bad since I've had my youngest, so since the beginning of this year. My antidepressants stopped working as soon as she was born, my mental health dived, this has happened with all my pregnancies/births weirdly. But this time I had the codeine to self medicate with, so that's what I was doing while going on and off different antidepressants trying to sort my head out. Absolute nightmare. I'm finally on some now that are helping (escitalopram) and I feel so much better mentally but sadly stuck with this addiction to deal with for the foreseeable.

Are there any plans for you to try different meds etc? I really think mental health is the main issue for most people with substance abuse issues.

Is dhc dehydracodeine? Sorry can't spell it !!

Yeah, dihydrocodeine.

I agree with you, I think it often stems from mental health issues. I'm on a good med, keeps me balanced at least, I just stopped it fast last week, didn't pick up my prescription, cause I'm just finding the weight gain hard to live with. I'm gonna need to have a good talk with my psychiatrist.

I think I'm right at the start, and I'm gonna try and catch it. It just feels really hard to stop right now.

From your posts, I sense a strength coming through them . i get a feeling you're gonna get through this