To feel so scared? Dh and addiction to prescription medication

[meadowposy]

My dh is addicted to medication, he was on codeine and says he hasn't taken any since April 11, I do believe him.

He has however been buying so much elsewhere in my name mostly. And so I can see he's replaced one addiction with another.

I know everyone says oh ltb. But it isn't that easy.

Neither of us have any family who help, we have very young children, we have no support at all basically.

Also he is not harmful to me or kids. He does it all away from our sight.

He's not always an easy man to live with but I do love him. And he's the only help and break I get. I just feel scared.

He says if it comes out he will kill himself. I really do belive him. He's tried twice this year already. I would feel responsible. It's no good people saying I wouldn't be I would feel it.

Just in despair.

mummymeister I get that you're outraged about this but your 'robust challenging' of the OP doesn't seem to have helped so maybe you should...you know...stop now. You can't force people to do things they don't want to.

@mummymeister - "robust challenging?" Bullying, more like. Just like her dh no doubt.

We are all concerned, however the op has addressed you many time asking you stop. You don't listen.

Perhaps it's time to walk away now?

There is nothing we can do mm

Not a thing.

I don't think any of the responses have been particularly "gentle" tbh. All of them have addressed the terrible risks this man is taking and the ways op is complicit.

Let's hope that when the situation implodes nobody is hurt or killed. Unfortunately, the longer this goes on, the risks of that happening will be escalating.

Mate, how about you get back in touch with Women's Aid and work out a hypothetical escape plan. You don't have to use it until you are ready (and it takes most women several attempts to leave an abusive marriage), but having your options mapped out - nearest refuge, paperwork, independent finances, keeping the kids safe, supervised contact centres - this will help you and your kids. Having a plan will give you the headspace to deal with all the other stuff.

differentnameforthis - telling someone the truth isn't bullying. I can only assume that you have never suffered any form of negligence caused by someone on drugs. perhaps if you had you would feel differently.

Thisnamechanger - you are absolutely right. I cannot force anyone to do something they don't want to do. I cannot force them to read what is posted on an internet forum or indeed to also post on that same forum. Its a choice. Turn off my comments if you don't want to read them. the choice is there.

Anyfucker - nope, I cant do anything. other than post on an internet forum and hope that no one dies or is irreparably damaged.

Shall we all just stand back and wait for the next inevitable post then?

mummymeister OP probably isn't coming back tbf...genuinely curious about something though; I noticed in your posts you used the word 'junkie' a lot. Do you describe all drug addicts like this or just the one who are causing others harm?

I wish mummym would go. I can't ask you all for help with her on here.

Hi meadowposy

How are you today? Any news?

It might be best if you didn't post again on this thread, mm

You have said all you need to say. No offence...there have been times I have left a thread --told to fuck off- because I was just not helping.

Gah, rubbish strike out attempt

@mummymeister, firstly, don't assume what I have an haven't experienced. You do not know me.

Secondly, it is your constant pounding home of the truth across this thread, and the other that it the bullying. There is absolutely no need for the way you have pursued the op and persisted to tear her down at any opportunity you get. I get that you want to help her, the kids, the potential patients. But there are ways of doing that without alienating the op.

She has even asked you to stop, and told you that she isn't finding your "advice" helpful anymore, yet you persist. Perhaps, as I said before, it is time to step away if this is triggering you.

The OP will make changes when she is ready.
When the thought of NOT making changes will be worse than staying.
In her own time.

Ultimately, it does not matter what any of us write - we may all bring a different perspective to what the OP is describing, but it is far far easier to type than to DO, particularly in an abusive situation like the OP's.

meadow, look after yourself. You deserve a better life than this, so do your DCs. AND probably your H, but he needs to find a way to achieve that himself.

He's now suspended from work so we are waiting to see if they want a drugs test.

What happened meadow?

Hi OP I haven’t read your previous threads

I can completely see how trapped you feel and hard it is to make steps to remove yourself.
I also get that you still love him

I was going to say that is he is a medic and working under the influence then he is a massive risk to his patients and for that alone you have to report him else innocent people who trusted him will die

But I see you update. How did work find out? How has he taken the suspension?

I know how paralysing it can feel when a partner threatens suicide. Especially when that is the father of your children

But any risk he poses to himself is of his making and within his own control and you cannot give up your life and that of your kids by being held to random like that.

Please please consider your options.
Have you actually been to face to face support from women’s aid? They may help you see what your options are around alternative accommodation

It is troubling that you don’t have free access to money as that is a form of control and is part of a dangerous dynamic in your marriage

You matter
You are important
Your happiness is valid and worth fighting for and above all your kids have no choice and are relying on you to make good ones for them

Good luck

Hope you are ok, hope he takes this as time to get help

How is he reacting? Are you safe?

I haven't been able to get on here because I have been having a baby.

Basically I just wanted to say a big thank you to you all. Dh is suspended for strange behaviour at work. Will see what happens. He doesn't seem worried which is a bit worrying in itself. But he is very much right have got to kick this habit now.

I hope you are ok. This may be the catalyst you need for something to change.

Do you think he is now at the stage to go to a rehab facility? If he has been suspended something has obviously happened. His best bet is to be seen to be actively doing something to deal with his addiction. Owning it will be the first step. If he is still denying his problem it will be much harder for him.

Congratulations on your baby. What a time you are having.

Yes still denying it I'm afraid. Or not denying but insistent that he can sort it.

Ah well it must be something of a relief that at least something has happened to force a change. Obviously it might get a lot worse going forward, but you aren't alone with it and he's saying some of the right things. Good luck.

Congratulation on your new arrival

He will still be delusional OP until he's forced by circumstances to be otherwise. I hope it works out.

He will be I know. But people have to understand I fee like I'm kicking him when he's already down. He's very depressed and it's hard here.