To feel so scared? Dh and addiction to prescription medication

[meadowposy]

My dh is addicted to medication, he was on codeine and says he hasn't taken any since April 11, I do believe him.

He has however been buying so much elsewhere in my name mostly. And so I can see he's replaced one addiction with another.

I know everyone says oh ltb. But it isn't that easy.

Neither of us have any family who help, we have very young children, we have no support at all basically.

Also he is not harmful to me or kids. He does it all away from our sight.

He's not always an easy man to live with but I do love him. And he's the only help and break I get. I just feel scared.

He says if it comes out he will kill himself. I really do belive him. He's tried twice this year already. I would feel responsible. It's no good people saying I wouldn't be I would feel it.

Just in despair.

even if you dont want to leave him OP - maybe the shock of actually doing it would wake him up to the fact he has a problem and needs to deal with it?

leaving doesnt have to be permanent. do it to shock him in realising what he is throwing away

Ffs not you again. Stop wasting everyone's time and read the hundreds of responses on your other thread.

You’re not unreasonable to be scared.
You are very unreasonable to not take action.
I haven’t read your other thread but from the responses on here you’ve been given advice and are refusing to change your situation.
There is no help for you if you are still enabling your husband’s drug addiction

He won't access help anonymously. Says he'd be struck off.

That's not true. A friend of a friend got treatment for addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs, he/she wasn't struck off.

It's tiresome to read the same thread from the same person with the same problem. Loads of people have pointed out to you that as the drugs are being bought in your name, you're the one who will suffer the consequences. You could lose your children over this. Do you love your DH more than you love your children? So many posters on here have spoken about parents who didn't protect them when they were children, is that what you want?

Isnt painkiller addiction how Shipman started? Op have you covered your tracks well? If there are any doctors reading your thread is there enough info on it for them to report your husband to the gmc? He isnt safe to practice

I didn't say leave, I said get some help. Yes you.
Stop standing dazzled in the headlights, wringing your hands helplessly, like a frightened rabbit.
Ring nar anon or clouds house, now, today. You don't have to give any details. Just get some support for yourself at first and find out what options there are.
Your dp is scared and not thinking straight. He is either bullshitting you, has no intention of stopping, or paranoid and can't see a way out.
Just do it. Good luck

What Juells said.

He is a junkie. If he does not get help he will always be a junkie.
He is a risk to your children when driving.
He is using your name to buy drugs.

He is going to get caught and the consequense's will be worse than if he seeks help.
If he harms your children or a patient he will get caught and be publically vilified.

gphealth.nhs.uk/

Its a new service for addicted GPs.

He could also take a month off, negotiated with his employers, to detox at the Priory, I know a medical prof who had done this.

There are options for him and for you.

Again some great advice on here. but fundamentally OP

HE IS LYING TO YOU.

If he has attempted suicide twice already this year - not told you he has but has, these are two different things - then you have to get him and yourself some help NOW.

Stop pissing about posting how scared you are and then doing jack shit.

He cannot take the action needed because he is a junkie. If you love him, then do something, something positive that will make a difference and do it now.

stop posting about how scared you are because clearly you aren't scared enough of the consequences to actually act.

BamBam that’s uncalled for & nasty, no one is forcing you to read or reply.

meadowposy

If he kills someone, what would you think you should have done?

He’s putting patients & other people at serious risk, surely you can’t keep ignoring that?

If he goes to the GMC he’s likely to get help, they look after their own, IF they seek help. If he gets reported they’ll take a much harder line.

I’d tell him either HE goes there for help or I’ll tell them. BEFORE he kills someone.

If he's buying it in your name, won't that mean that you will be charged with supplying drugs when it finally all comes out?

From a quick google that comes with a 7 year prison sentence.

Are you willing to risk that?

What will happen to your DC?

Seems to me you're faced with an unpalatable choice:
Your DH or your DC?

Which will you choose?

If you do choose your DH, then for your DC's sake, please start thinking about having them adopted now to minimise the consequences for them in the future.

What drug is he taking instead?

How did he manage to stop taking codeine so easily?

Gin
It depends on what the drug Is?

I am sorry but I don't believe that he gave up taking codeine completely by taking another drug unless of course if that drug is another opiate (morphine, oxycodone, tramadol, etc)

As a medical doctor I urge you to seek help for him. He could be harming patients not to say ruining his life with you. There is help out there. He isn't the first doctor to get addicted nor the last. Please get him help.

I told you on the last thread that if he seeks help himself he (very likely) won't be struck off. If he does something stupid, or illegal, or if a patient or colleague reports him not being on the ball, he will be.

You seriously need to stop this buying drugs in your name. At the very least, social services aren't likely to view a parent who is a proven purchaser of huge quantities of drugs (on paper at least) as a suitable parent, are they? At wots you could be done for supplying drugs illegally. This is very very serious for you. Far more than the rest of it. The rest of it, well you can't do it for him, can you?

Oh, that is true PersianCatLady I just assumed from the OP and other posts that it was a hard core drug

OP, how will you live with the guilt if your DH injures (or worse) someone either when driving or working under the influence and you knew you could have done something to stop it?

How will your DC cope with one parent charged/disgraced and the other eaten up by guilt and remorse?

TenGinBottles
Many prescription drugs are controlled drugs, for example:

Oxycontin (oxycodone) = Class A drug, same as heroin and cocaine

Ritalin (methylphenidate) = Class B drug, same as cannabis and amphetamine

Diazepam and Tramadol = Class C drug, same as GHB and GBL

I know everyone says oh ltb. But it isn't that easy.

No, but nothing will change if you don't.

Also he is not harmful to me or kids. He does it all away from our sight.

Stress is harm. And addicts are emotionally unavailable so there will be harm to the children. Not abuse as such but emotional harm.

He says if it comes out he will kill himself. I really do belive him.

Threatening suicide is controlling and abusive.

He won't access help anonymously. Says he'd be struck off.

There are services specifically FOR medical professionals. It's THAT common. He might get in trouble if he's been falsifying prescriptions and so on, but having an addiction and getting help? No.

so, there you have it from someone that knows.

Seek help voluntarily = most likely not to be struck off

Gets caught being an addict = WILL be struck off.

Your choice OP. stop this or he will be struck off.

Thanks PersianCatLady. I'm not going to say any more on the subject of type of drug. But the OP should maybe check here and see what the penalties for supply are if it is a classified drug:

www.gov.uk/penalties-drug-possession-dealing

and have a re-think on how desperate her DH is. If it's all being "ordered" by OP, when he's caught will he claim that she's been slipping it to him without his knowledge?

What meds is he taking now, is he forging prescriptions in your name. You both know he needs help, you do realise the harm this is causing him, you, your children and his patients.

TenGin Bottles - she doesn't care about the penalties involved. we have all told her these before. she doesn't care that SS will consider taking her children away WHEN not if her junkie husband is caught.

He is using her and he does it, because he can. She is being naïve in the extreme now. I just keep hoping he gets caught before he kills or injures one of his patients. I also hope she lives nowhere near me or mine because the man is a menace.

I lost sympathy after the 10th "yes I understand, but....." post from the OP.

No, it's not nasty - the op got hundreds and hundreds of posts with really helpful advice on her other thread, and straight up ignored them all. She's now posted a brand new thread, expecting all the lovely folks who spent their time writing really helpful replies on the previous thread to do it all again. This is narcissistic at best.

Also he is not harmful to me or kids. He does it all away from our sight

Not all, he does the buying in company of you and the kids. Or are you telling us that driving from pharmacy to pharmacy with an ill mum and a stressed dad was a nice day out on their holiday?