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Original poster

To feel so scared? Dh and addiction to prescription medication

250 replies

meadowposy · 06/05/2018 12:42

My dh is addicted to medication, he was on codeine and says he hasn't taken any since April 11, I do believe him.

He has however been buying so much elsewhere in my name mostly. And so I can see he's replaced one addiction with another.

I know everyone says oh ltb. But it isn't that easy.

Neither of us have any family who help, we have very young children, we have no support at all basically.

Also he is not harmful to me or kids. He does it all away from our sight.

He's not always an easy man to live with but I do love him. And he's the only help and break I get. I just feel scared.

He says if it comes out he will kill himself. I really do belive him. He's tried twice this year already. I would feel responsible. It's no good people saying I wouldn't be I would feel it.

Just in despair.

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 06/05/2018 16:38

Two scenarios or 3...i know which I'd choose... NUMBER 1 of you're in any doubt...

  1. He goes for help himself.... He will be supported and not struck off. (the chances aren't zero of being struck off...but much, much less likely. He would show he's behaving as a responsible reflective practitioner with integrity and realises he can't continue as is...

There are many support mechanisms now for doctors in distress...

  1. If he's reported, or worse, harms a patient /member of public.... Much greater chance of being struck off... And also being branded a criminal. Serving a sentence.
  1. He carries his suicide threat out... Awful for you all and him
mummymeister · 06/05/2018 16:44

she is not listening IamtheDevilsAvocado.

we didn't tell her what she wanted to hear "there, there hun, heres the magic wand"

this is getting worse and worse. he was buying drugs on line in her name. now he is going to chemists to get them in her name. plus she lied to a doctor with fake symptoms to get prescription.

completely should be prosecuted as well in my opinion when he gets caught because she is allowing it to continue.

when will people realise that its not just about you breaking the law, its if you let others break the law in your name or do something that you know about. she just thinks when all this comes out she can tell the truth and be believed. but she wont. why would anyone risk a prison sentence away from their kids for a junkie?

Queenio24 · 06/05/2018 16:54

So is he addicted to the lyrica now?
My advice is the same:

  1. cancel your card so he can't order any more in your name.
  2. tell him he must seek help himself NOW as this is now out of control. This will be a better option than being reported by a patient or colleague.
RoseWhiteTwat · 06/05/2018 16:59

Could just whine about it on an internet forum tbh

Soubriquet · 06/05/2018 17:03

I'm pretty sure she said he was taking pregablin because I take that and was surprised when I read it's the new favourite street drug

Queenio24 · 06/05/2018 17:05

Yes I think pregabalin's brand name is lyrica? I took it for a spine issue, bloody string stuff not to be messed about with.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 06/05/2018 17:05

What do you want from the advice you receive on here? I’m not asking nastily, just wondering as nothing anyone says seems to be right for you.

Soubriquet · 06/05/2018 17:08

My one is called rewisca with pregablin as the drug.

I don't find it strong at all actually but I have a weirdly strong tolerance. I take it with tramadol with back problems and the rewisca stops the muscle from spasming which I had a severe problem with at one point

MNHQ
FlissMumsnet · 06/05/2018 17:12

We hope you don't mind OP but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread meadowposy and we really hope things start to look up for you soon.

MNHQ
FlissMumsnet · 06/05/2018 17:21

We've also moved this thread across to Addiction Support as we feel you may find more appropriate support there OP.

Flowers
Original poster
meadowposy · 06/05/2018 17:28

I don't know sunny, to be honest.

What I don't seem to be able to get across to any of you is that I've absolutely nowhere to go, no money, no family, no friends who can help.

Yet you're telling me I must leave.

It's not that easy.

OP posts:
Original poster
meadowposy · 06/05/2018 17:29

Thank you Mumsnet.

I definitely do not want anyone giving me anything other than a listening ear I suppose.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 06/05/2018 17:31

Fair enough you can't leave but you can stop him ordering the drugs in your name

Report your card. Stop him from using it

DiddimusStench · 06/05/2018 17:35

You want advice,
You get advice,
You refuse to take advice.

What is it exactly you want to hear OP?

BamBamIsALittleShit · 06/05/2018 17:36

You already had everyone's listening ears on your other thread.

This is YOUR life and its up to YOU to take action. Do something about it!!

PotteringAlong · 06/05/2018 17:38

Women’s refuge will take you. Every day they take women who are taking the ultimate step to protect their children.

mummymeister · 06/05/2018 17:41

We do completely understand that you have nowhere to go and no one to help you. that is why you have been given all the links that you have to various charities and groups that can provide you the support that you need. what you mean is, that if you leave you wont have the same standard of living that you have now - nice house, nanny for the children etc. I don't doubt it will be difficult to leave but it absolutely is not impossible. people have done it before. and yes it will need adjustments on your part.

but the do nothing option isn't an option. Not with the scale of what is going on here. cant you see this?

Original poster
meadowposy · 06/05/2018 17:43

Re my card there are a few problems with that.

It's my bank account but I have no control over it. I earn nothing. Dh set up the account online, even if I cancelled the card he'd just set a new one up.

Plus he's not exactly going to be in a very nice mood when I sat no is he.

OP posts:
PerfectlyDone · 06/05/2018 17:44

I'll be brief:

You cannot change his behaviour.
You can change your response to his behaviour.

And you know the old chestnut of doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome? Yep, that way insanity lies.

Your life, your choices - except you are making these choices also on behalf of your children. He IS harmful to them. IMO you have a duty to be the actual mature adult here and protect your DCs (and yourself, but you cannot see that just now).

Do some reading around co-dependency for pity's sake.

BamBamIsALittleShit · 06/05/2018 17:44

OP you're properly ignorant, you never reply to anyone you just post the same comments regardless of their relevance. I've no idea what you're trying to gain from this.

PerfectlyDone · 06/05/2018 17:44

You cannot change his behaviour.
You can change your response to his behaviour.

And you know the old chestnut of doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome? Yep, that way insanity lies.

Your life, your choices - except you are making these choices also on behalf of your children. He IS harmful to them. IMO you have a duty to be the actual mature adult here and protect your DCs (and yourself, but you cannot see that just now).

Do some reading around co-dependency for pity's sake.

Queenio24 · 06/05/2018 17:48

Nice mood !!?! Are you kidding?! This is addiction, hard drugs, junkie addictions! It's way past being in a nice mood or not. You are enabling him at the moment, you're complicit in the situation and you are being stitched up as he's ordering them in your name.
Anyway I'm pretty sure he couldn't order another card in your name. He would have to pass security id questions. I fear I'm wasting my breath on you though.

Soubriquet · 06/05/2018 17:49

So you're being financially abused.

This is not normal. I would look into women's shelters. Even if it's a last resort option. Know where they are, enquire about them. Find out everything

PerfectlyDone · 06/05/2018 17:51

What YOU decide to do has nothing to do with how he then behaves or feels.

Every addict will not be in a 'nice mood' when their addiction is in any way threatened.

Have you heard of the 3 'C's?

You have not Cause his addiction.
You cannot Control it.
You cannot Cure it.

If he is accessing your bank account against your wishes, inform the bank AND the police.

There ARE ways out of the situation; you do need to WANT to make changes though and I sounds like you are maybe not ready.

YAMBU to be scared. This is going to end in tear unless you put your Big Girl Knickers on and take action, don't way for him to make changes because he won't, will he?

Queenio24 · 06/05/2018 17:51

Just think of this, how long before he's exhausted all his fake prescription avenues? What happens When he can't get any more online? What will he do then? Go to the local dealer? Start on the illegal stuff? What's the consequences of that? Debt, over doses, criminal records? I'm bowing out of this thread now.