Wave your snorkel in the air like you just don't care!

[serialtester]

Open.

Lost, say something wise!

Thanks, Pickle Hope you're feeling a bit better today. This is a particularly bad comedown. I'm in bits, my head hurts if I move it.
Zig Hope you're not suffering too bad.

Zig did you mean two waves forward, one back?
That made me laugh.
Anyway, thanks for your kind words.

Spotted my Freudian slip there Lost!!!! Gah - I'm surprised I can even type let alone say anything coherent Hope you are feeling okay x

Lost and Zig Sending hugs and sympathy. I shouldn't laugh at your predicaments but I had to chuckle on the train when I read the updates. Is Sunday the new Friday or what??

Kinetic - sorry you were feeling sad, hope you're ok.

Onwards and upwards Ladies, you've been here before, you know what to do. Head down and make it to the end of the day. I'm off to the Surf shop to replenish the surf boards!

Aw lost its still an improvement though as you managed three weeks.

How did you go overboard what led up to it? I think we need to look at how we even manage to get there, I need to stop having people in my house doing it as I'm not strong enough to resist. Try eat something nice and get some coffee or red bull into you to keep you going to home time and get some pain killers.

I'm out this Sunday with my dh. Iv said to him I do not want to end to getting stuff so he has to just give me his phone so he can't contact and arrange it without me knowing and he said no 😡 I can't see how I can do this if we aren't on the same page. It's starting to really piss me off.

I know Hooch What was a thinking on a Sunday night? Probably the worst time to fall off.
Don't worry, Zig I feel like I'm surfing backwards today

Got will be back on later to chat about your predicament. It's sounds difficult at the moment. When my brain stops hurting I'll have try to analyse my thought process last night. I am that partner that talks their OH into it though. I think he was happy enough watching golf with his beer.

Sorry you cried last night, Kinetic

Thanks Kinetic and Pickle, wasn't overboard as such last night, just the usual insomnia. Lost, it's okay, you are still going in the right direction, we all have those times cos none of us are perfect, we are just trying to do things better. Today is a scramble back onto the board and hold on for dear life, am not into 12 step cliches usually but, this too will pass. Is there an addiction gene ? Discuss

Thanks Citrus - it looks like you and Kinetic and Pickle were all burning the midnight oil. I hope you were all okay - and Kinetic I'm sorry to hear you were crying. Sometimes is good to get all your tears out but sorry if you needed a hug - here's a virtual one for you
I do think there is an addiction gene, a few of my family (grandmother, mother, uncle and father!) 'liked a drink' and after years of living as a functioning alcoholics, all had to completely abstain or else would always be in party mode. And for me, alcohol and coke go hand in hand...

So glad I'm home. I've been looking forward to pyjamarating all day! Not long to go now.

Really ashamed to be back to day 1 on the surfboard. I'm back to beginners surfing on a little paddle board with armbands.

I let the cravings get the better of me last night and suggested to dh we get a bit. Tbh, he doesn't take much persuading.
Regretting it A Lot and think I might have aged 10 years today.

Good to see you back surfing, Citrus. How have you been getting on?
Hope all fellow surfers are ok this Monday evening

Well day one is nearly over lost and you will feel better tomorrow.

Zig I absolutly agree, quite a few alcoholics going back to the generations in my family and fear my sister will be next as she drinks most days at 25 and has started to get into a total mess at weekends.

I only really drink at most once a weekend not even every weekend but my addiction is obviously coke when I do drink.

At what stage does something become an addiction though?

Hey lost, no shame at all! Absolutely none! Zero!
It's a minor blip. Do you and DH both have the number?
If it's absolutely impossible to get hold of it can make the 'hunter' bit shorter and I always found it easier when I knew for sure it just wasn't an option.

I got all emotional and managed to randomly
Cry at work today for no reason, well no valid reason anyway!

Friend of crazy lady who got sacked has been told by crazy lady that it's all my fault she lost her job because she never made any racist comments and the ladies who made the allegations are lying. I am also lying because I gave a statement which backed it up.

She was low level nasty, ignoring and not looking or speaking to me, got cross when I made a mistake.

Usually I stand my ground but today I walked away from her and went to the loo and cried. Big snotty sobbing, emerging with my head high as if nothing happened.

I looked like I'd been up for days with puffy eyes and blotchy skin.

The irony....

Can't believe I cried. Mortified.

My addiction just gradually crept up on me, Got and I spent a long time in denial about it. I would define it as a compulsion to take it even though it's impacting negatively on my life.

I was thinking about your night out Got and wondered if you could come to some sort of compromise with dh? Maybe accept that he might use when you're out but won't bring it home or offer you it? Not sure if that could work. just an idea.

Lost, you had a blip. At least you didn't waste a weekend day on a comedown though.

Pickle, after your cry I bet you looked how Lost SHOULD have looked this morning. Work people can be utter fucking cunts at times. Don't let them get you down, and being poorly makes you feel vulnerable.

Ah I'm not surprised you cried, Pickle. That's awful. I hate confrontation, I think I would have hidden under my desk. Hold onto the fact that you did the right thing.

We both have numerous contacts which neither of us have deleted. I suppose that is my security blanket. I feel panicky about even thinking about deleting those.
I think I need to change my name to Lost Cause.

Believe me, I looked like I'd been dug up this morning, Serial (that was with make up).
Spent about 2 hours desperately trying to sleep last night but my bed felt like it was made of rocks. So that was both weird and awful.

Just think how comfy the pyjamarating and bed tonight will be!! It will be like a cloud of fluff!

Delete the ones on your phone, that reduces the impulse buy, that way you need DHs numbers so no need to panic?

I think I have a pathological need for people to like me or at least be pleasant or civil. I don't do well at all with those ones that just blank you, even when you speak directly to them.

If I had a desk I'd have been under it! Could hide behind my trolley maybe?!

I had a blip on Friday Lost. Don't beat yourself up.

I had a lovely rest of the weekend with dh and ds and haven't been craving like i used to. Thank God. The second interview is not far off. I need to be at my best.

I actually saw my dealer in the street today and gave a nod and smile but drove on. It would have been a different story as recently as earlier this year.

I want this mother fucking Job 💪

Good to hear from the OG, Cleaning
I'm keeping everything crossed for your 2nd interview, even my eyes. x

I understand that Pickle. Yes hide behind your trolley if she approaches again or just play dead on the floor.

That sounds horrible Pickle - what a nasty piece of work crazy-lady is and crazy-lady's friend... I'm not surprised you cried - she sounds like a bully. And she's got to you whilst you're poorly. I shall give her a virtual flop round the chops with one of my flippers
I'm already in pjs and being cozy on the sofa ready for Broadchurch - but am already struggling to keep my eyes open.
Hope everyone's waters are calm tonight x

Good shout, Zig No one upsets our Pickle!

Bath has finished me off so night all. I'm turning over a new surfboard in the morning.

Bed for me too. Night surfers!

I am 2 months codeine free. My god the week of withdrawal was hell and at times death seemed preferable but I stuck it out amd told myself each day that all the withdrawal pain was my punishment for being so irresponsible with the tablets gp had prescried me. I am two months free and believe me if I can do it anyone can. They ruled my life amd some days I'd pop 40 tablets a day. I used them as a comfort blanket when my dad was dying . I was prescribed the. Legitimately for a bad back but soon realised that lovely feeling they have me made the world an easier place to live in when I was losing my darling dad. Of course they werent good for me at all because I soon needed more and more to get that lovely feeling and I wud lie to my gp friemds amd chemist hop amd buy them from online pharmacis. Iv spent thousamds and been so sneaky. I decided enough was enough and just stopped. It was sheer hell that first week but now two months on I feel fantastic. So much better than when I was taking all the codeien.I feel so ashamed I let myself get so hooked and il never take any kind of opiote ever again. I don't smoke drink or have ever took any type of street drug and there I was so addicted to tablets my gp gave me that they turned me into a liar and someone I didn't recognise. Addiction can happen to anyone . I used them thinking they were helping me get over watching dad die of brain cancer but all they did was numb me and now I'm clean iv had to deal with my grief all over again . My dad was only 54 and was fit and healthy until the brain tumor beast arrived. Life's bloody shit at times but I tell ya it's shutter when on drugs. Any ways sorry to ramble I just wanted to share a bit of my story and let everyone know that if I can get clean and go cold turkey anyone can xxx

Sorry for all the typos I'm on my phone in hospital with my very poorly ds . Apologies x

Unicorn What an awful experience for you and I'm sorry about your dad. Life can be so shit.
It's really inspiring that you have pulled yourself out of your addiction. I can't imagine how hard that must have been.
Keep strong, and sending best wishes to your poorly son.

Aww thanks surfers!!

I do know I did the right thing, guess today was just one of them days.

Night all x