Cold turkey- help me when I'm tempted

[rainbowdash17]

I'm about to go cold turkey from cocaine.
It's time to! Definitely
My weak points are when I'm tempted to buy some (usually evenings)

Can I message on here when I'm tempted for a pep talk on why I shouldn't & reassurance that it's ok?
I think it would really help me

Do you reckon we can do this?

Flat, you poor thing. Get your head down you will feel much better later.

Thanks serial, feel like such a loser

I'll be honest, I messed up too. I don't know why I do it. I'm fine for ages then a massive binge. I totally lost control after a few drinks. Had an awful night after I got home, heart racing, huge headache, anxiety and couldn't sleep. All my own fault. I knew I had reservations about going out where temptation was everywhere and I just ignored that and did it anyway. I'm a fool.
Feel like a fucking fraud coming on here, giving advice and then screwing up. Been really anxious about posting this. Hate myself this morning.
Flat I'm sorry you messed up too and I'm sorry I feel like I let you down. Hope you're alright.

Ilostit I am sat here in tears reading your post, you are NOT a fraud and you haven't let me down! You have already broken the back of your addiction, this was just a minor slip up. We will both feel better in a few hours and can get back on with the fight. Thank you for having the guts to post , sending you love, strength and 💐

Thanks, please don't be nice, I'm crying too. Going to go on auto pilot for a few hours as have a big Tesco shop to do and then have a long think about what a twat I am.
Getting straight back on the wagon if you want to join me.

I'll be there

It's so easy to slip up. I hope both of you are ok. Don't beat yourselves up. This was me 2 weeks ago.

Thanks Serial.
I think I sort of deluded myself that I was ok to go out partying and not touch it. I don't think I've got the will power to do that at that moment but hopefully I can in the future, I don't know. I'm getting too old for this shit!

Anyway, It's a lovely sunny day so going to stop feeling sorry for myself and go out for a bit.
I feel a bit better for confessing on here so thanks for listening to my moaning.

Me after 2 glasses of wine = no will power!
Had a dream the other night that i had 10kg of coke delivered to me, its clearly frequently on my mind.

That sounds like an expensive dream, Serial . I think it's always there in the back of your mind isn't it?
How do you manage social situations where there's alcohol and probably drugs flying around? I tend to try and avoid them but I have a friends wedding coming up and know they'll be a lot of my old party crowd there. I'm thinking to go and leave early. Or maybe not go?

Sometimes in that situation I'm fine and can say no to a line. Other times it's like a switch flips in my head and I just think fuck it. I'd go if I were you, like you said you can leave if you find it too difficult.

Flat if I were doing it with my husband I'd find it so so hard to stop. You've done really well on the whole. A slip up isn't the end of the world even if it feels like it the next day.

Have to say though, the 10kg dream was great!!

Honestly, serial you wouldn't want to feel like me today. I feel like a depressed broken robot. Coke is an overrated, overpriced load of crap.
Thinking of you, flat hope you're looking after yourself and getting an early night. x

You'll feel better tomorrow lost. The day after is always horrific. When I play the film through that's generally the bit that makes my resolve better.

Am feeling utterly demoralised, there has been barely a weekend this year I haven't been feeling like this! Why can't I just bloody well stop???!!! Beginning to think I may have to go away for a while, rehab out of the question as too expensive and I have three children to look after. But might think about taking kids and staying with my sister up north for a couple of weeks.

Breaking the pattern would be a good start. What does your DH think about his coke use?

I'm sorry you're feeling like that Flat. Once you get into the cycle of using it's bloody hard to get out. It is possible, you are able to go without and you've proven that to yourself.. It's being able to ride out the cravings and weak moments.

If I've learned anything it's to remove yourself from the situation or avoid it if you can. I know I sound like a stupid hypocrite.
I think you're a bit like me, a master of self delusion and your own worst enemy. Don't be too harsh on yourself today, the comedown will leave you feeling really down and full of dread.

I think it might be a good idea to stay with your sister. Would you be able to confide in her?

Lost, you are so wise. Master of self delusion is spot on.

Thanks both! Feeling a bit better now, have had a bath, and about to sit down to eat and to watch The theory of everything. I thought I had it sussed this week, as you say Ilostit, it's about blocking access and riding out the cravings. So yesterday I messed up because I couldn't ride out the cravings, however in theory I shouldn't have had access. My husband was away with the kids and he has the debaters number, so it should have been fine. However the 'coke brain' took over and I decided to see if I could find the dealers number on my phone

I had previously deleted it, and hey bingo, it was very easy to find an old deleted text message.....and off I go....

So the plan for this week is to visit an apple shop and get the number permanently removed from the phone, which i understand is possible.

Anyway you two are both amazing!! I am very grateful for your input. Hope you both have lovely evenings

Watched the theory of everything last Saturday - was amazing! At half ten last night i was on Craigslist looking for a dealer - how sad is that?! I deleted all connections ages ago. Glad you are feeling a bit better.

OP I think I was on your previous thread.

Just popping on to say good luck, sound like your doing really well for the most part.

No judgement from me, I shan't pretend to be an addiction expert in the typical sense but I've had my own battles with a prescription drug.

Flat same to you

Getting caught in addiction is piss easy it's getting out of it that's hard going.

Don't feel amazing and wise (I do feel about 80 today though) but thanks. Hopefully we can prop each other up and come on here when the coke brain starts taking over. Nice bath and watching Casualty is my plan tonight.

Unborn that rings true. It's easy to fall into an addiction almost without realising. Hope you've got on top of yours.