Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

Why does he need to take an 'infore=med decision'? 3 year olds do all sorts of things without making anything like an informed decision!

ITS NOT RIGHT BECAUSE THEY ARE BOYS!!!!!!!!!

I wont be happy until I see cod or custys post on this thread

Puddle, he's experimenting when he plays with his willy as well; should we allow him to do that at pre-school too? There are limits that have to be set, and even if they're only set because of what society expects, they are still there.

Winston Churchill wore a dress til he was 5.

I'm not helping my argument here, am I?

I find it hilarious that you are all getting so concerned at this. Also, agree with Enid that he can't be 'aware of all the issues and able to make an informed decision' at 3.

oh well that's a really good argument elsmommy!

it isn't right because he is a boy

who the hell says boys can't wear dresses?

but elsmommy what about all those Victorian babies that were dressed as girls while babies? Was that wrong too? and why is it right for girls to wear trousers then?

oooh yes, get custy and cod!
Actually custy was here earlier - the 'as long as they do what i say' approach...

I don't think wearing dresses in public can be compared with playing with one's willy. No more wiping one's bum.

He can't make a decision.

So the mother has to make the decision and if I had a little boy I would not send him out into public wearing a dress

The other thing that makes me uncomfortable about this is the fear of making you and your child look odd. Maybe you don't mind about that, but, speaking as parent of two very odd boys (they have no interest in football - shock, horror! Ds1 compounds his error by being very shy and ds2 alienates nearly all his peer group because he is twice as bright as they are) I have seen their difficulties getting accepted by their peers (for ds1 it occurred as young as when he was 4) and I have cried inside myselfto see them ostracised. Do you really want to risk this for your son?

but lonelymum.. is spidermamas little boy is unhappy in his dress he can take it off!

youre not comparing like with like

How about a compromise...buy him a kilt, give him a great big toy sword and let him paint himself with woad and relive the Battle of Culloden!

I know what you're saying LM and I'm not claiming it's an easy choice. But I don't shirt from hard choices if I believe in them. Freedom to express oneself is a biggy. This comes much easier living in groovy Brighton where people are more laid back.

I admire pple who have the courage to stand out, hope you go for it spider

So,
The issues Spiderboy should be aware of are:
Grown women are worried that he might be seen as a homosexual, or might get confused about his sexual identity
Grown men are afraid that he might make them look like homosexuals
Other 3 year-olds might bully him
This will be accepted as natural, normal and only to be expected by grown MN-ers
Who just feel a bit icky or nervous about the whole idea?

He'd be in his element Tissy. But only if he could then be a princess being resuced by7 a wode clad warrior.

Blu, Ninah and starlover - I LOVE YOU.

lol Ill come and join him too and we'll have a whale of a time and bring dp and dss in their tunic/dresses (they are very pretty too and have lots of embroidery on them )

Foll Dee Roll for midsummer madness!

But don't you see, Lonelymum - it's people like you who are making all these poor children and their parents feel 'odd' for no rational reason. There's no need to react if a 3 year old is wearing a dress for a while. No need at all.

It''s not these mythical 'other people' - it's you lot.

He's 3!!!

don't forget your axe tarantula! (always remember you having an axe)

Annie I understand the point about what society expects and I agree that there are some things you need to teach your children re: society's expectations. I don't think this is one of them. It's just not a big deal. My son and other boys I know have gone through phases of this behaviour and not one is still wearing skirts at school. I think that children are slotted into their gender boxes far too early.

I do know parents who have difficulty with their sons expressing their 'feminine' sides, for want of a better phrase. In my experience it's because they themselves are uncomfortable with it and they try and project that onto the child.