Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

Sorry Lonelymum - i mis-read your post. I take your name out of the firt line of my last post. Could substitute it with plenty others

Starlover, all I am saying is, if Spidermama's ds continues to wear dresses to pre-school, he will alienate himself from his peers which would be a shame since it is within Spidermama's power to prevent this happening. Don't tell me he won't be alienated. I don't believe it when I have seen how my boys can't find acceptance because they don't support football. Until very recently, we lived within 14 miles of Brighton and my boys were looked upon as odd for not wearing football shirts let alone alternative clothes.

If they can't be themselves with no shame at 3, when can they?

Ill bring my axe Blu and spiderboy can borrow dd's stuffed axe if he likes Can he do a good imitation of Peneope whatserface. you knwo the one who goes HELLLLEPPPP!!!!! Now that would be prefect.

I don't think he will continue to wear dresses non-stop...it's a 'for-now' enthusiasm, isn't it?

So what's the solution LM. Force them to like and swat up on football? They'll find other football haters. It might just take slightly longer but they'll be glad they did.

I am not against you Spidermama. I admire your stance for freedom of expression (to some extent!) But I would hate you to suffer the way I have suffered.

Spiderboy's big brother grew out of it just as soon as he started at primary. Funny that.

I can't believe that some people think it's homosexual for boys to wear dresses at 3!! How utterly ridiculous! It's just sad that he would probably get bullied that's the only thing that would stop me from letting mine wear pink sparkly dresses to pre-school if he chose to do so.

Blu - I'm late to this thread (as per usual) but I have to say that I'm PMSL @ your description of your DS at the tea group !

For the record, I couldn't give a tinkers toss whether boys wear frocks or not. As parent I'd obv be concerned about the possibility of my child being bullied as a result of wearing the dress, but i'd warn him that it might happen and let him wear it.

Sorry to hear that. I do know the pain of children feeling alienated at school (personally and through my DD). But I think the road less travelled is more rewarding in the end if you go with your heart.

no actually i don't think he will be alienated. you might find other boys turning up in dresses too!

at 3 yrs old THEY DON'T CARE! any "bullying" is just repeating what they have heard hteir parents say IME

what about little (is it sikh?) boys who have long hair and have it in a little bun?

there are plenty of people who would say "boys donb't have long hair" or "boys can't wear their hair up in a plait"... do they get teased? no, because they are taught tolerance, and that people are all differnt

WOAH, woah, woah ! 3 year old boys wearing a dress is perceived as homosexual ?! I missed that post. How ridiculous, as fastasleep says.

A few w/e's ago, DS, nearly 4, was playing on a campsite, and desparately trying to get slightly older kids to play with him. he was wearing his 'prince' outfit - a sequined beret.

Evantually, some older boys took some notice and let him play, until one asked what he was. DS explained that he was a prince, and the boy said 'you can't be a prince - you're a chocolate face. Chocolate faces can't be princes'.

DS is mixed race.

Stereotyping is f***g pants.

Totally agree Nom. That's what I've done. He's at school now in a shiny black dress (with shorts underneath as an option).

Blu -

if people in this world would teach their children about tolerance and understanding then kids like spidermamas wouldn't get bullied.

but with parents telling them that boys aren't allowed to wear dresses, or that they have to like football... what hope do they have?

i know i am being idealistic... but it's true

Awww! Blu. This stuff comes straight down from grown ups. How sad.

It'd have taken every ounce of self-control not to go out and rip the older kids heads clean off...

oh blu that is shocking. your poor ds

My friends daughter is 8. She wears boys clothes - bought from the boys sections (ie not just trousers). As plain as possible. She just doesn't like girls things. And she may look different to her friends but she has not been teased at school, she is a popular delightful child. I think the reason for this is that she has a strong sense of her own identity and what she wants to be. Her mother has always left it up to her what she wears and never made a big fuss about it.