Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

Interesting thread. I agree with many that at 3, probably fine. At 6, likely to result in teasing or bullying, but this doesn't necessarily mean that if he wanted to do it he should be prevented. I'd be concerned about bullying if I had a 6-year-old ds who wanted to wear a dress to school, but I'm already concerned about future bullying because my kids have lesbian/gay parents and one Jewish parent and are likely to be bullied for thisbut my response obviously can't be not to allow this to be the case. In the dress-wearing scenario I think what I'd do is talk to him about the possibility (likelihood) that he might be teased and try to help him make a decision about how much he wanted to wear the dress. (For comparisona friend of mine has a son who until age 6 had longish hair--he wore it to school for about a year then asked to have it cut short, basically because he was conforming to boy-ness. I think she handled the whole thing very well, enabling him to make the decision.)

I wasnt saying thats all I had...infact I have no dressing up clothes!!! All I said was boys clothes (not dressing up ones) arent as pretty and sparkly as girls ones!

Well this has certainly got everyone going!!!

I have 3 boys. Ds1 (11) loved dressing up at playgroup, but really didn't express a wish to wear dresses outside of 'dressing up time'. He is a boy who now loves computer games, martial arts and the like.

Ds2 is 2. He is probably more girly than ds1 ever was in that he has a doll (bought for him when ds3 was born) and has curly blonde hair, so people often mistake him for a girl. He also likes prams and goes for the girly things at friends houses, as did Ds1. In fact he could easily be passed off as a girl in a dress.

He hasn't expressed a wish to wear dresses either, but he doesn't have any sisters dresses to steal. I honestly don't know what I would say if he did want to! At home, no problem at all, outside...well I would hope I am liberal minded enough not to care what others think as he IS only 2, but I really don't know.

And ds3 is 6 months, so he doesn't care what he wears!!!

Do all of these little boys here who like wearing dresses have sisters? Or are the dresses bought for them? I wouldn't buy a dress for my ds's.

If I saw a little boy in a dress I would just smile and think he was cute, nothing else. I don't believe them wearing dresses will have any bearing on who they are later on in life.

I reckon though if I gave DS2 a choice between sparkly and plain he would go sparkly everytime!!!

"If you put a pile of dressing up clothes out see what they go for. black trousers and a tshirt or sparkly fluffy stuff?"

Thought this implied that boys dressing up things consisted of black trousers and a T shirt. Which they don't. If I put out a pile of super hero costumes, knight outfits and fairy dresses, I know which my sons would go for.

I rarely let my DD go to Nursery in a dress - just beacause I think they're impractical for playing, but if she insists on wearing Bob the Builder shoes or a Man U football kit should I stop her? Won't she get teased for looking like a boy (maybe for her rubbish taste in football teams ).

what if your son doesnt like* dressing up?!!!!

Mione wnent through it like in about 2 weeks

now dres up in footie gear
agree iwth keppl abotu parents not reining inkids

Keppl?
KElly

My eldest ds is a former dress wearer. The summer before starting school was his last fling with flambouancy.....
I told them to get dressed for town. He came down in his sister's dress. I said, 'Are you sure? You may be teased at the shopping centre.' But he was adamant.
At first in shopping centre I felt him hiding behind me. After five minutes he was OUT and PROUD striding round the busy shopping centre with the wind in his hair. God love 'im.
He's never done it since. Peer pressur.
I gather home schooled boys do it for longer and most stop around aged 7.

My kids have never been in to dressing up. now and again at friends or if they were 'doing a show'
But boys used to always wear dresses and weren't 'breached' untill they were about 6. I have a lovely picture of my granddad in a dress!

ds3 aged 2.5 often wears makeup!!! he puts it on quite well too. DS2 aged 10 went to a birthday party not long ago and all the boys came home in nail varnish!!!!

this is a very interesting thread
on a personal level I have ds1 aged8, ds26 and dd4.ds1 has always been happy playing with girls and dressing up but became aware quite early on that boys dont wear dresses and I reinforced this - I dont think it does your kids any favours to give other kids an excuse to tease and bully
ds2 had always been very 'male' and wont even sit beside a girl from about aged 4
on the other hand my neighbour has 12 year old twin boys and one apparently wore a dress to school for 2 years age 7 out of choice, despite his parents worries they decided to support him and then one day he siad i dont want to wear them anymore and that was that. to the school's credit there was no bullying

slightly deeper thought here...would you be horrified then if your son turned out gay or would you support him? some seem a little hung up about dressing up!!!

I would have absolutely no worries if any of my sons turned out to be gay. I only hope their generation will be less judgemental than mine on the issue.

I wouldnt worry either. Hope my message didnt make you think that!!!

Not at all.

dont you think some blokes suit make up anyway.
Afraid i had a bit of a thing for Julian Clarey!!!

spidermama....how is this still going?????

Hi Soph. Spiderboy's obsession with princesses continues unabaited. He still wants to be in dresses most of the time and I let him. We have an on-going dialogue about how some people think boys don't wear dresses etc.

yeah i know...but how how how is this lasting so long? how are all these anti-dress peeps having the front?

haha....sorry argh shouldn't stir!

So many people are so conditioned. Boys dont do this girls do that...bla bla bla.
Cant children be children. Let them explore and try it out!!!

They're still in the majority but on the wain. No-one has admitted personal predjudice. All still blame 'teasers'. Would still love to hear from those who would tease about why.
Oh no. You've got me started again!

I remember once someone saying something like society expects.....but we are society so we can change the expectations!!!!!

My point exactly. Why this mass pandering to teasers? Unless we think they have a point.