Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

am with you on the pubes

Oh Blu, I know that your ds will be fine because he is SO social and indeed, rather charistmatic. I do think, however, that children often become intensely conservative around five six, seven, and I think it is often instinctive. This is why right-on Mumsnetters so often despair of their pink-addicted daughters and their truck-mad sons. (hmmm...lot of oftens there).
And yes, of course you don't want your child to be picked on, but given that you can't change every other child in the school, sometimes you do IMO have to educate your child to do what is appropriate (not eat lasagne with their fingers for example) and not just what they would like to do, because you as an adult can forsee consequences that the child is unable to comprehend.
I do not see any teasing or bullying at my ds's preschool (he is three) - they notice differences but only in an interested way really. Boys in particular seem rather more tolerant than girls who are busy flexing their social muscles. However, six and seven is very different to three. I would encourage a flamboyant boy to wear bright colours, yes, but a dress, absolutely not.

ooh yes girls are much mroe conformist

also think boys needt o learn how to avoid situationss where they will be picked on
like my ds howming in frustration whne he loses at football

Also with you on t-shirts. Horrid. But then, I wouldn't let him wear those, either!
Poor ds, with his tank tops!

If you have already been through this with another of your children and feel fine about it I am puzzled as to why you started the thread in the first place?

girls are ruthless

Mind you Cod, he would perfectly at home in any Premiership team.

I think you are right Aloha - and I do not mean to argue 'for the sake of it', that I would ENCOURAGE even my outgoing DS to wear a 'real' dress to primary school. But if he really wanted to (without my encouragement), and he thought he could carry it off, I wouldn't 'ban' him. Unless there was a uniform code.
Anyway when he is a 17 year-old art student, he will probably wear something more outlandish than purple lederhosen

My only exasperation in this thread is about 3 year-olds and pre-school and 3 year-olds noticable absense of bulying each other over it!

aloha it really **s me off!!

girls are much mroe conformist?

girls are ruthless??

Better get dd into practice then Im sure she would want to live up to such wonderful expecations.

why dont you buy him a kilt?

theres nothing wrong with men in skirts, but imo children should have a clear idea of if theyre boys or girls. DOESNT mean pandering to a whole load of stereotypes before people start jumping down my throat, but it is a pretty accepted norm at the moment that boys dont wear dresses.

that would be my only objection if it was my son.

FishF - I agree with you about helping them have social capacity - like helping him have the social skills to avoid the football situation - whatever it is withih that typing ...
I think that is more important than trying to get it right with fashionable trainers, the right lunchbox etc.

Does not the thread speak for itself Enid? I'm really pleased to spark a debate and prompt people to analyse their own views on this. The one thing the thread has still failed to get to the bottom of is this:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH BOYS IN DRESSES?
Leave aside the issue of teasing, becuase it's the teasers who need to be brought to book there and that's a whole 'nother thread. If the ONLY problem is with teasers, let some of the teasers speak out. What is wrong with boys in dresses?

I work with someone whose son refused to wear trousers from an early age. he wore a kilt and he still does (hes 25 now!).

he's also a bonkers artist that does those braveheart type reanactment things but thats another issue

On the contraray, I'm sure that's at the heart of the issue, Enid

Surely the other way round Batters.
'A daughter's a daughter for all your life.
A son's a son til he finds a wife'.
So the irritating saying goes.

All us re-enactors are bonkers Enid Its par for the course which is of course why they let us into schools to give demos on history.

yes batters you are right I am sterotyping

but the girls in dd1s class do seem to be really really over the top about having to have the same as all the others (hair styles etc). There is ONE girl who doesnt fit in with all the others and none of the others want to play with her.

I forced dd1 to go to her house for tea and she bawled in the playground as she didnt want to go - because this poor child is not part of the 'gang'

awful isnt it they are only 5

Perhaps you people who believe the boy will be teased had better won up to being teasers. Go on. It's you isn't it. It's not these mythical others.

I believe he would be teased and I was/am not a teaser.

ditto

Hmm, I've only skimmed this but googled 'David Beckham sarong' and found this one man's view on why men don't usually wear skirts. At 3 I think I would have let ds go to pre-school in a skirt but I think I'd have taken some other clothes too in case he wanted to change his mind. He was certainly wearing nailvarnish on his fingers and toes at 3 because he saw me doing mine and wanted some too and I let him rather than saying 'no, that's only for girls' because I didn't see why it should be and certainly not at 3. Interesting to read peoples views on this.