Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

How do you account for the fact that he is wearing a dress now, and is NOT being teased?

sorry should have put a in there Enid we are all bonkers. and the men do spend HOURS boring on about their costumes, colour, material, matching detail etc etc. Guess they are frustrated that they can wear dresses in real life thos most of them would deny that.

and happy and fulfilled in what he does from the sound of things too Enid.
The fittest and nicest men I knew at university were all re-enactors and very bonkers tarantula so now you know my real reason for my fascination with your brilliant family career as Vikings

"what's wrong with boys in dresses?"

Exactly the same thing that makes other socially unacceptable things "wrong".

god you prob know him

Ah but of course it wouldn't have arisen with my ds at 3 because I didn't have any other children then so there wouldn't have been an appropriately sized dress in the house.

Havent read the whole thread cause its sooooo long but i let ds1 wear dresses and dressing up clothes inside the house and although i dont let him wear dresses out of the house i dont mind him wearing pink t-shirts of haivng a disney princess bag xxx

what happened enid?

fascinating article WWW - thank you!

Soupdragon - There are things that are 'socially unnacceptable' that I would respect - like not spitting, but on the whole, the entire basis of 'socailly acceptable' is so without logic - see my post somewhere below, and apart from the self-perpetuating 'because it isn' the norm' argument, there IS no logicl reason why men in dresses should not be socially acceptable.

I think it is right and natural that people fulfill social acceptability to the extent that it feels comfortable for them. I would not tease a boy or girl for 'conforming', for instance. But, unless actual unpleasantness is being caused, i.e spitting, I don't see why people should be villified for not conforming to something as innocuous as wearing a dress. Or that it should be considered acceptable that a child will be bullied for wearing an item of clothing.

God, nothing wrong per se - if by wrong you mean immoral or unkind - but then there is nothing wrong with lederhosen (except possibly hygiene-wise) but I still think it is not wise to encourage/enable ymy son to skip, fotherington-thomas-style to school in either lederhosen or a fairy dress.
And no, it wouldn't be ME teasing him! I'm just trying to be realistic about what life is like. Didn't you go to school Spidermama?
I actually have no problem really with what kids wear (or don't wear) at three. They are babies and I don't think bullying/teasing is a big issue at this age. But at big school I think it is a different ball game.
There was a kid at my secondary school who had some spots and her mother put huge blobs of Germolene (vile pink ointment) on them and told her not to rub them in. God that was cruel. It is a mother's job, IMO, to help your child look out for social gaffes like this and avoid them. Having huge pink lumps of ointment on her face didn't help this poor girl fit in at all.
As for girls are more ruthless - I think it is true, but is the flipside of being more empathetic and kind as well. They just 'get' social interaction more and earlier than boys -because females are in general much better at empathy they can also use that knowledge for good and evil in a way boys are quite crap at.

Is there a post of Enid's that has gone missing - i can't find anything shocking??

And Soupdragon, please, what is it that "makes other socially unacceptable things "wrong"" - as in 'wring'? Surprising, causing a second galnce, maybe, even challenging - but 'wrong'?

And I have to say that I don't think teasing is nice or kind but I also think that won't necessarily stop it happening.

Didn't Child in our Time have some research about how looking 'acceptable' had a huge impact on how many friends a child had? Bit sad.

oh, yes, thanks Dino - and that explains the 'what happened', too...sorry, all to quick for me.

I like the fact that at 3 a boy won't necessarily be teased at pre school for wearing a dress. Quite right too! By the time they're old enough to be teased they've worked out social norms and have often worked out whether or not to conform to these too I think. So yes I think the Germolene was unkind but I don't think allowing a 3yo to wear a dress is.

That's exactly it, WWW.

Had she CHOSEN to wear pink blobs on hr face, it would have been quite different, of course.

Do you remember John Lennon wearing a sanitary pad on his forehead?

Ye sit did Aloha It was an interesting episode as it showed that children who are close in looks to what is considered 'beautiful' are generally more popular at school.

I was the exception of course as the other girls were jsut jealous of exceptional good looks

www - that's what I said!
It's the (hypothetical at present) dress at big school I'm a bit concerned about.
If my ds wanted to dress up as a fairy I'd be highly amused. In fact, not so long ago went to visit friends with older kids and ds vanished, only to reappear in the garden, feeding the rabbits wearing wellies, jeans, a tutu and tiara. Thought this was rather cool.

yes so they ar " play " clothes arrent hey
Id not mind that at all
but woudlnt deliberately put ds1/2/3 in an anvironment where he will stand out liek a sore thumb