Im a minger Help!!!!

[BitterHarvest]

My husband is getting more gorgeous with every year that passes. Hes really grown in to himself. Me, on the other hand am turning into my grandmother. I am a mum who works at home. Housewife we would have been called back in the day. Im in my mid 50's now and I need a glow up. I never wore make up and i think i need to start. but since many of my days are spent only in the house or caring for elderly mum i dont know when to put it on, Also whats a casual but polished style now adays with out looking like the local free P pastors wife?
i need serious help. Photo for ref. dont look quite my age yet but no idea how to dress or what to do with my face. can i have advice please Skincare regime is good and skin is clear. thanks peeps.

So many posts by women saying their 50-something husbands are incredibly good-looking and better every year, while they are mingers
Where are all these good-looking men in their mid-fifties looking hotter and hotter by the day? I never see them. I very much doubt they exist. I think women are hard on themselves.

Me too! And if I stop plucking throat hairs and my rash I’d have an enviable one!

Another vote for barrel leg trousers here. M&S is a great place to start and people are also right about the John Lewis advisors. I agree that you don’t look like an 18 (speaking as a former size 22, now a 12) but both these stores carry clothes in a big enough range of sizes to cope whatever size you are. Loving this thread, hope you know you’re going shopping tomorrow with thousands of us all on tenterhooks to hear how you did. Please let us know! 😍

Don't feel bad about the DH comments op: after all, you said he was gorgeous!

The truth is we can't see your face because of the yellow face over it, and we can't see your body because it is hiding in men's clothing!

You don't look like an 18. I'd have said a 14/16 at most. Your thighs are trim and boyish, which i think added to the DH comments.

The colours are sludgy, and, unless in really luxurious fabrics like silk or cashmere, I personally feel swamp-like colours do nothing for anyone.

I would dress your figure in a more monochrome sort of style, maybe navy and white or ivory and black but just something a bit snappier so that even round the house you feel smart.

As for the make-up, your skin is probably good BECAUSE you don't coat it in powder etc every day and just let it breathe. For going out, I think a liquid foundation - preferably light reflecting - is great if your skin is nice and clear. Anything heavier tends to exaggerate fine lines. A touch of gloss on the lips for everyday, and even for going out I feel matte lipstick can look a bit clay-ish.
Charlotte Tilbury Magic cream is a great trick under foundation - even light liquid foundation goes on more smoothly and glows.

What is your hair like?

I liked the suggestion of a fluid, layered look for you - just don't let it get too baggy and keep the layers whisper fine, but the fluidity will look more feminine.

I have been thinking of buying the baked foundation for a while. Did it take you long to get used to it?

My suggestion for jeans as I am about your age. Levi's ribcage wide-leg jeans. They smooth everything out.
Expensive but worth every penny, and you can get discounts. You must try them on in store.

Re Laura Geller - QVC is the place! If you don’t like it you can return it within I think 30 days for a full refund. You do have to pay the postage but that’s better than just buying stuff and not using it.

Hi OP,

I’m about your age and was a SAHM who worked part time until last year when I went full time. So I can relate. I love fashion and style and dressing well. My DM was always under stylish and her motto, which I follow, was ‘never save it for best’.

I shower ever morning and do a full body scrub with a mitt, then I lather on body lotion. I wear tinted moisturiser when I work from home, and at weekends, with mascara and eyebrow gel and concealer. That’s it.

When I work in the office i swap to the Sculpted by Aimee cushion foundation which I lived from the moment I tried it on in her store. Takes 1 minute with a brush but is a fine mist liquid in a cushion (go try it - I can’t explain).

You need more up to date jeans or trousers. I update my jeans and trousers regularly otherwise you end up wearing something that looks slightly off. For comfort try barrel leg - and S have loads in jeans and in cargo pants. Pair with long sleeve t shirt; then add a merino wool jumper in a colour that you love and then but more of this outfit in 2 more colour combinations that all work together.

Add Chelsea boots for day to day - I have thick soled Chelsea boot wellies that I wear all winter as I walk my dog daily. Inside change to Uggs ur fluffy socks or whatever is warm and comfy for you (my house is a shoes off house(.

To dress this up add jewellery/a nice cashmere scarf/ a lovely coat - I have a stylish rain coat for walking the dog and some lovely wool coats and a trench coat. Try on some in store and buy similar on Vinted. Sweaty Betty are great for rain clothing and as are rains. Buy them oversized.

For going out, try heels - kitten heel boots or shoes: swap the long sleeved t shirt for a silky cami under the merino sweater; or buy a silky blouse in your favorite colour - loads in M and S - and wear this.

To get more ideas, find people who look a bit like you would like to look and follow them on Instagram.

Here are some stylish women I follow for inspiration-not actually lists of shops that they buy from although they are here too

piavibekegrace - this woman was recommended on here and I love looking at her videos

dusirejano - very stylish Spanish woman, often quite workwear but I love her hair and her necklaces

jenniferbellemakeup - great at eyes (even though I never do my eyes)

Trinny London - just to see her be fun and stylish and be reminded to take some of my forgotten jewellery and bags out of the back of the wardrobe

sculptedbyaimee - a make up artist who does natural make up

erikataylor - live her make up tutorials even though I wear only the smallest amount I f makeup

celiajaneblog - she is in her 40s but very classic, jeans, t shirt etc and shops on the high street

lindaandwinks ( Rodin uber stylish older woman inspires me to be my best every day)

India Beaufort - wacky and mad but fab with putting wild colours together; I love looking at her videos, would never wear the clothes.

Michelle Pfeiffer
Anine Bing
Christy Turlington

they are older women whose style and clothes I admire.

midlifewisdomnotes - reels of very stylish older women

The way I ran to the comments then as I’d not clicked on the actual photo!

I’m about 5foot 6. I’m defo and 18 chest is rather large after breast feeding 5 babies (youngest 16) bra is 38g. My husband wasn’t a looker when I married him. I was attracted to the ugly best friend because they were usually more dead on. Hubby was just that. But he has a silver fox thing going on now and when he wears his suit and
polished shoes for work he has that powerful presence he doesn’t have in jeans and golf shirt! Ding Dong!

Anyway I’ve had my colours done a year ago I’m a
”soft summer” I guess I should embrace the colour thing really. My town is Belfast so it’s got most things. My hair is good I go to a place in city centre and the colour and cut is good. I’ll check out that nail brand a pp suggested and try that too. I like the look of the bare minerals stuff so I’ll try that.

thanks again for your input. Even the bitchy ones made me smile x

Another suggestion: please get a bra fitting and probably some new bras. Makes a difference.

I would venture that some of this is not about how you look, but about how you feel doing all the caring while your husband gets to dress in power suits and go off to work.

Have a look at rants and big pants, she looks amazing

great idea!

Oh, @BitterHarvest you’ve really made me laugh, you sound brilliant

I’m in my fifties am pure mutton, every day o become more like Edina from AbFab, rather than your geography teacher vibe

I’ll take a look at some things you might like. Brace

Ding Dong!😂

Well, we better get working on the glam up OP!

Good one and I agree that she has a great figure but she isn’t making the most of it

Re the more fluid style I suggested, have a look at the Me and Em website.

It's far too expensive for everyday caring/round the house, but you can recreate those sorts of looks with cheaper brands. but lots of silky blouses, fine cord, liquid velvet skirt and trousers etc, all with enough drape you won't feel exposed, but soft enough to move with your body, not look so chunky and masculine. Also, your jumper is finishing at an unflattering point. It actually isn't too bad on you as you aren't hugely hippy, but you would still do better to drop an inch lower or go slightly higher. You have then emphasised this line with horizontal stripes!

Ive did a big deep dive into styling/ body shapes recently and the trick is for your outline to be balanced
Atm you have wide shoulders, clingy jumper which is too long and those skinny trousers
So boxier cropped wide jumper or buttoned v neck cardie with a longer wide leg trouser
Keep the clogs and get some chunky wool socks
Either a chunky roll neck or v neck with a necklace

For some reason I can’t edit my post so please excuse my typos OP.

to help you;

Live is Love! M and S for jeans - I don’t know where the M disappeared to.

My DM always wore her best clothes and now do so I.

hope this helps.

HRTFT

I follow @ stylingwithRebecca on Instagram because she is the same weight, shape, and size as me and also loves jeans.

You don’t look a size 18 from your picture at all! Search on instagram for ‘midsize’ and you should get some people who might look like you with a bit more practice.

I like your jumper- is it the fruity jumper from seasalt? I also follow brands I like on instagram to see styling suggestions by real people as well as the company’s curated pictures. Often people #brand in their photos. You can get ideas of how to style something that might not have occurred to you.

Also echo pp who said please don’t call yourself a minger! It isn’t true and you don’t deserve to feel like that. You’re lovely, you just need to see it.

Ignore the boxy wide jumper suggestion - it won't do your figure any favours.
Look at sites like Me+Em and get M&S lookalikes.

Get yourself a wonderful fragrance and wear it daily, not just for best. If you don't already have one you love, go to your nearest town and get sniffing - don't let any of the SA unduly influence you and give yourself time to explore each scent and see how it reacts on you Many stores will give you samples for free, alternatively, you could get a consultation if you can get to London with Les Senteurs and or Haute Parfumerie at the top of Harrods to help you discover your scent.

If you don't often bother with perfume, you'd be amazed at how transformative it can be, it can put a spring in your step and add some glamour.

You also don't have to spend a fortune to find a great fragrance. Have a think about what scents you love, maybe rose, jasmine, iris, vanilla etc and that'll give you a place to start.

You have a lovely figure

Well I am a size 18 and when working in the garden, walking dogs or looking after grandchildren I just wear joggings, t shirt, jumper, no make up, hair scrunched in pony tail. Washed. As does every other middle aged woman where I live. If I go out for dinner, theatre, gigs, holidays with husband, family, friends I can and do style hair, wear make up and dresses/smart clothes. So it all depends on what you are planning to do: if working in your home or caring I would just carry on as you are and be clean and comfortable. That is not being a minger!

I have to agree with this.

I am an 8 to 10 and tried a few of the very short wide jumpers round this season and really can't think what figure they are designed to suit. I didn't buy any ...

Maybe for a pear shape, to balance wider hips?

But I looked like a child dressed in a cardboard box as a TV. It made my legs look too skinny and my top half much wider.