Why doesn’t she want me as a client?

[notamumyet2010]

This is such a first world problem, I’m almost embarrassed to speak about it but it’s really playing on my mind so I would love some opinions.
For years, I’ve been seeing a beautician for nail art. She was amazing, really talented and I thought we got on really well. I knew she also worked from home and after a couple of years I asked if she was looking for some home clients and she said no not at the moment due to time/space. Fair enough. I thought.
Anyway start of this year, she lost her job, it was very sudden as the place went under. She messaged me telling me what happened and I expressed empathy. After a week or so I saw on social media she was telling people to message her if they want to book in with her at home. Straight away I sent her a message and she responded saying she was just waiting for some materials to arrive and she would message me to let me know once she was up and running. I saw again on her socials she was seeing clients. I waited for a message and nothing. I was super confused as I really thought we got on well and I was a regular client. I left it for a while thinking she was probably getting things sorted, and it takes a while I’m sure. Well it’s been months now and I thought hell I’m going to send her one more message. So I texted asking how she is and is she taking more clients on. She said yes and she’s working hard including at a local spa. No mention of me booking in with her. I was like ok this is odd, decided to be brave and ask outright. “Can I book with you?, only I never heard from you” I get a strange message back saying she would be willing to do my nails but is fully booked till September!
I feel like for some reason she certainly doesn’t want me as a client, I have racked my brains for a reason and the only one I can think of is I ask for nail art every time which takes more time. However she did always say she loves it as she gets to be creative and all her other clients are boring. In fact she called me her favourite client.
Obviously sadly you guys will be no wiser as to why this has happened or what I’ve done, but my question is…..would you book in for September or just accept that for whatever reason this client/beautician relationship has ended?
It’s such a shame as she really is sooo talented but I just feel this has probably tainted the relationship now anyway.
Thanks for reading if you got this far!

You’re in love with her. It’s one sided. You’re obsessing about the lack of contact after months, and you admitted you bought her gifts. 🤷‍♀️ The fact that you’re in a relationship with a man isn’t really relevant.

Im interested in these responses blaming the lack of tipping...

In America and some other countries tipping is common and expected because the price of the food/ hair/ nails/ whatever is reduced so that service can be paid on top in the shape of a tip, if it's deserved.

in the UK tipping is not as universally expected because staff are generally paid through the cost of the treatment, so you're paying an absolute fortune for hair/ nails/ whatever, even without a tip.

I wonder whether I'm wrong though and people generally expect a tip? I've never had any hairdressers or beauticians ditch me even though I don't tip BTW!

in the old days of paying cash I'd always say 'keep the change' but now in the days of paying by card I just don't bother, especially as card tips on the machine never end up going to the stylist!

to tip or not to tip, that is the question!

Lol. I’m not in love with her. I love how she does my nails and the end result. I didn’t think about her until it was time for the next appointment.

I'd just get a booking for September and see how it goes. If you don't think you've done anything wrong then you probably haven't and don't need to blame yourself for her lack of contact.

More and more people in my circle have stopped tipping. Mainly due to the fact of paying on card and who carries money around. Plus with tipping I’m always like how much is the right amount?

The presents were £100 in a card plus her favourite drink and chocs, which I felt made up for not tipping but it’s clear people feel the tipping is the reason. Which she was always very grateful for and messaged to say so.

Could she not just be genuinely really busy? That the September thing is the truth. If she hadn't a slot for you free there would've been little point getting in touch. Especially if she was so busy seeing clients. She probably thought she didn't want to disappoint you but equally had no spaces? Or was too busy to fully even acknowledge your interest?

Just book her for then and look round for someone else who's more available.

Even if I pay by card I’ll give around 10% cash. I make sure I am organised beforehand.

So £50 haircut, £5
£30 nails, £3 etc

My partner works in an industry where they get tips and it really helps.

That feels a bit intense to be honest.

So you were guilty by association???

Send her page on here and one of us can try and book her if she's available next week well knownshe just doesnt like you

Wow, that's a lot!

Some of my clients do tip and others don't. Some who don't tip do give cash gifts at Christmas, others don't. Some both tip and give gifts.

Also lot of my clients pay by card and ask me to "oh, add £x on top, please"

They're all treated exactly the same. I'd be astonished if it were a tipping issue.

I believe it's the cost of art.

In her place, as soon as business permitted, I would also run a mile from a client who was blurring boundaries.

Wow, what a bitchy reply! If the nail tech is so precious about getting a little extra, then she should just add it to her prices.

This is all abit OTT. You arent "friends" shes just someone who does your nails. There are numerous nail salons everywhere just go somewhere else or book in for Sept

I think she thought it too painful to have anything to do with the situation, which is understandable. I no longer talk to aforementioned friend anyway, but I can see where she's coming from and in her shoes, I would do the same

I think you’re reading too much into this OP. Just book for September and then see how she is with you.

@notamumyet2010 - Do you have a friend who can try book an appointment with her? If your friend is given an appointment earlier than September, there's a possibility it is an issue with you, as she's clearly NOT booked up until September.

Just a thought.

How weird!!! Why are you acting so clingy?

You must have a pretty chequered history with friendships for this to be your thinking @notamumyet2010

The lack of tips is pretty shit. If you want to give Christmas and birthday gifts as well that’s fine. But not to tip someone after a haircut or other beauty treatment is pretty rude tbh. A Jo Malone candle doesn’t help with the Tesco shop does it?

How was I blurring boundaries? It was her sending personal messages and TikTok videos. Yes I was friendly there and we had a giggle. It was not one sided. I seriously have racked my brain and I don’t see what I have done wrong. Yes I was generous at Christmas and birthday but that was because I didn’t tip. Rather than give £5 in drips I thought it would be nicer to get a lump sum to really treat yourself. This was to show my appreciation for her talent.

Please see my responses about it being cash in a card.

This isn't some big mystery! Think about it: this nail artist is now in business for herself, so she can pick and choose her client roster. The first group on her list is going to be the generous tippers. Not just because of the financial rewards, but because these are the clients that truly value and recognize the artist's time, talent, and expertise.

Then if there's room on her calendar, she'll schedule the standard but consistent tippers. Plus who knows? maybe there's friends and family she wants to give time to. She's only one person, so before long, her calendar could easily be filled up. The clients who never tip will be on the bottom of the list.

And Op's [former] nail tech is apparently good enough that she doesn't have to go chasing after business. Her phone's ringing off the hook, so to speak, and her schedule is now filled up well into September.

She doesn't want you as a client for x, y and z reasons. I'm in the same field as her and will blacklist clients for all sorts of reasons that include: having a bad breath, not tipping after spending more time and effort on them, gossiping too much, asking intrusive questions, being rude or just making me feel uncomfortable in any way.

My advice: Find another beautician, she doesn't want to see you.