Why doesn’t she want me as a client?

[notamumyet2010]

This is such a first world problem, I’m almost embarrassed to speak about it but it’s really playing on my mind so I would love some opinions.
For years, I’ve been seeing a beautician for nail art. She was amazing, really talented and I thought we got on really well. I knew she also worked from home and after a couple of years I asked if she was looking for some home clients and she said no not at the moment due to time/space. Fair enough. I thought.
Anyway start of this year, she lost her job, it was very sudden as the place went under. She messaged me telling me what happened and I expressed empathy. After a week or so I saw on social media she was telling people to message her if they want to book in with her at home. Straight away I sent her a message and she responded saying she was just waiting for some materials to arrive and she would message me to let me know once she was up and running. I saw again on her socials she was seeing clients. I waited for a message and nothing. I was super confused as I really thought we got on well and I was a regular client. I left it for a while thinking she was probably getting things sorted, and it takes a while I’m sure. Well it’s been months now and I thought hell I’m going to send her one more message. So I texted asking how she is and is she taking more clients on. She said yes and she’s working hard including at a local spa. No mention of me booking in with her. I was like ok this is odd, decided to be brave and ask outright. “Can I book with you?, only I never heard from you” I get a strange message back saying she would be willing to do my nails but is fully booked till September!
I feel like for some reason she certainly doesn’t want me as a client, I have racked my brains for a reason and the only one I can think of is I ask for nail art every time which takes more time. However she did always say she loves it as she gets to be creative and all her other clients are boring. In fact she called me her favourite client.
Obviously sadly you guys will be no wiser as to why this has happened or what I’ve done, but my question is…..would you book in for September or just accept that for whatever reason this client/beautician relationship has ended?
It’s such a shame as she really is sooo talented but I just feel this has probably tainted the relationship now anyway.
Thanks for reading if you got this far!

I never have and never would tip the owner of the business. I really only them to charge me what they need to charge. Otherwise, 10% for the Edson doing the work, a couple of quid for the hair washer.

saved me a bomb when my employed hairdresser went out and set up her own business 🤭

In what way is this weird?

Do you have a history of tricky friendships?

Maybe but all her clients gave gifts. She left them on her side so they were visible all through the Christmas period.

No not at all. But then I wouldn’t really class this as a friendship, it was transactional but nice we could have a laugh and got on well.

I suspect this is a classic "other people don't think about you as much as you'd think". She's been busy setting up, she probably had tons of people vaguely messaging without asking for a specific appointment, plus all the business admin she'd be new at and simply forgot to message you book for a booking (she probably gets emails, texts, whatsapps, insta dms and faceb messages all in a day). Without sounding rude, she's probably very skilled at putting people at ease and making them feel special, it's part of the job - everyone is probably here favourite! "Some of my clients love so much detail, you're my favourite, I love the elegant simplicity". It's just part of her role and she will say something kind to everyone - its not her being mean or dishonest, but she probably doesnt hold you in mind very long as she will be onto the next client. I'd book in for Sept and think no more of it, she's good at her job and you like her, so get the appointment in, I'd not take her forgetting to heart.

You're obviously NOT her favourite client therefore I expect the whole "fun times" were BS from her perspective

It'll be because of the lack of tips and the fact that in her opinion you don't pay enough for the work she does (obviously she should have charged you more, but for whatever reason , she didnt)

Well somewhere along the line something has happened in relation to you and another person / people for you to jump to this conclusion.

In a different industry but have a similar setup where I visit people in their home, they visit me, etc.

Reasons why she may not want you as a client. Some of these reasons are why I say that I'm too busy for certain clients. Could it be any of these ?

• You're often late

• You cancel and rebook frequently

• You do not tip despite being more effort/time.

• She says that she likes doing the nail art, but she probably doesn't because it takes too long and other nail work is more lucrative for her. In this instance, you should offer to pay her more.

• You talk about yourself the whole time, I have found some of my own clients so zapping of energy that I've just not seen them purely because of that reason.

• You're so stunningly beautiful, that she doesn't want her husband to see you (This is in reference to a recent Mumsnet thread where a lady didn't want to be outshined by how beautiful her friend was).

Summer
Very busy time for nail technicians
September… end of summer

book the blooming app and move on

This is very weird @rhino12345

Melodramatic much @notamumyet2010

it’s not too late, just book in for sept.

she probably IS booked up, I know I have to get my nail appointments locked down all through the summer because otherwise I’d never get in and this is a salon with multiple techs.

woman up love and see what the score is.

I stopped going to my nail place because of this, I just had a vibe they didn’t want to waste their time on more elaborate nail art and never outright told me.

I don't believe you gave her cash inside a card. I think this is a new detail to cover the fact you didn't tip each time, and you'r making it sound more practical than the "gifts" you said you preferred giving.

See if she is available in September, other than that let it go.
If she has a job in a spa she may only see a few clients at home now and, for all you know, her home may be very humble and she is careful who she lets in. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

Wow, how bitchy. And I bet you’re one of the so-called ‘be-kind’ lovies 🙄

I 100 million percent did but that’s fine you can think that.

I agree which is why I always booked months in advance which again she said she loved about me as a client. Not that I think she loved me but just saying I wasn’t someone rocking up saying can I come tomorrow which she said annoyed her about other clients

You're her client not her friend, so presumably she's not going to think about you lots. If she's really gifted, as you say, lots of people are going to want her services.

I suspect she probably wanted to get up and running with simple, easy (does quick = lucrative?) people's nails to establish the business first. Hence the September appointment. That's what I would do.

Either way, I wouldn't take it personally. It's just business.

I know what her home is like she has shown me many photos

Not at all

I just think this is all incredibly weird. Summer is a very busy time for beauticians. She has availability in September. End of story.

To the Op though… the beginning of a psychological mystery thriller

I would imagine that it's the nail art element I know someone who does a lot of nail art and had to change her pricing quite considerably because she had a lot of people asking for the nail art which is really very time consuming and intricate And therefore the pricing structure was much higher then for people who are just having 1 colour. Regard tipping I never tip Who does my nails ever. I'm already paying them. I don't tip the Hairdresser either I'm already paying a fortune although I do tip person who does the hair washing/ makes the brew.

Could be something really stupid or petty, like the beauty salon that kept cancelling on a client because she had an old car, and they didn't like it being in their car park. Sometimes it is apparently the way someone looks/they're too old/wrong body shape. Either way, it's not your fault.

That is a very unconvincing reply.

Its like saying "I promise!"

I agree. This is the weirdest thing I have every heard anyone do. Even extremely high earners would never think of gifting £100 at once to someone they only have a sporadic service relationship with. It's a huge amount of money, even for a doctor or lawyer. It's also very tacky tbh. It's something a new money millionaire might like to do in order to show off their status or buy better service.

The only situation where that much cash might be reasonable would for someone who helps you every single day such as an au pair or cleaning lady. Basically someone extremely close to your entire family and personal life so the money feels like a bonus on top their regular pay.

If you really did this, it's possible she was so weirded out by it that she doesn't want you as a client. It's a very odd, over the top gesture, especially if you normally never tip. It would make far more sense to just add £5-10 at the end of each nail appointment?! Why wasn't that an option?