OMG, I could actually cry.

[YouDontKnowBoutBenom]

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

WLI?

So you lost 132 pounds through diet and exercise? Good on you!

I don't know what the acronym is?

I'm a few years older and had a similar experience to you a few years ago. It was making me miserable so I took drastic action.

I overhauled my diet to prioritise eating enough protein, fibre and omega 3s. I started drinking more water. I developed a skincare regime - vitamin C and a rich moisturiser in the morning with SPF50, and tretinoin and a rich moisturiser at bedtime. Regular eyebrow threading. I started dying my hair but in a low maintenance way aimed at blending the greys rather than covering them so it only needs doing every five months or so.

I toned up more.

I started HRT for perimenopause which is very good for skin and hair.

I went to a local mid priced boutique and asked them to recommend clothes for me. I told them I wanted three casual outfits and they helped me figure out what suited me now. I also separately did a session with a stylist to sort more outfits.

2 years on I get lots of compliments on my skin, hair and clothes and people keep telling me how well I look. I honestly think I look better now than I did in my 30s. When I look back on photos from a few years back it is mildly horrifying 😂

On a practical note, I am ten years (and a bit!) older than you and I find that make up makes a big difference. Moisturising foundation, so quite light, evens out my eyes and tones out the redness in my cheeks I seem to develop every time the sun rises, never mind shines. With a bit of mascara and a bit of lip gloss it really lifts my face. Before I was 40 I could easily get away without it now, not a hope.

Might be worth a visit to the hair dresser to see if they can do anything to your hair while it grows out. I had a similar issues with a very short cut and my hairdreser friend would give it a trim once a month to tidy it up as it grew out, made a big difference.

Then maybe think about a session with a personal shopper/stylist if you can afford it, but get recommendations as some are better than others. I have my sister for that as she is one of those fucking annoying effortlessly stylish people, and she can recommend stuff that I would never have looked at but works!

Sometimes its easy to end up in a rut at this age when everything goes south, including our self esteem, but a) there are things you can do b) I bet you dont look half as bad as you think and c) your husband still thinks you are hot so who the hell cares about the rest?!

Weight loss injections

WLI is weight loss injections

There are lots of very slim people on this thread. I had just put on my pyjamas but I might get dressed and go for a run 😬

You have lost almost 10st, of course you have changes but think how much healthier you are now.

I have lost almost 5st and it’s taking a while to find what suits my new shape.

🙌

It’s so headfucking though when you look at different shapes and sizes.

One of my best mates is only about 2 inches taller than me at about 5ft7. She looks like a firm and voluptuous Grecian goddess and she’s about 4 stone heavier than me.

Her weight is all boobs and bum and she looks wonderful.

I will never look like that so it’s absolutely pointless trying. I’m a stocky little apple person. She just happens to be an insane hourglass. We could both probably exercise forever and never look like the other.

Apologies if this all sounds like jumbled nonsense but we can all only ever be our own shape and size. Sure we can all work out with a certain goal, but im
a stocky 36b less curvy woman. I’ll never be like my 34E tiny waist huge wonderful bum mate.

We’re all what we are, and so many of us spend 30 years trying to become something we’ll never be.

Let’s try to be fit and active but not try to base it on some aesthetic that we’ll never win

Aging comes to us all, if we're lucky. Try not to worry about it, wear what makes you happy and keep your chin up.

My eyes have just suddenly failed.
I'm 45 and for the first time I just can't read without glasses and have to carry them with me.

Definitely agree with 30 day shred.
And yes we won’t look the same as at 20.. most women look much better at 40.

@Whosthetabbynowthink less cabbage patch and more pussy cat doll!

I feel the same, it is definitely stress!

I would suggest looking up dopamine dressing :) I feel too old and frumpy in some stuff then ridiculous in others. But I really like dressing bright and bold and just aging into someone who dresses for fun rather then to look slim or blend in.

I don’t think that’s very fair on the OPs DH. My own husband takes what I think are unflattering photos of me all the time - fat, chins, pulling a weird face. He just thinks I look happy and lovely.

I’m considered attractive but my photos are awful, I understand it’s because the cameras dulls the angles in your face. The two dimensional impact can make some people look less attractive and some look more attractive, you get people who don’t look that great in real life but look stunning in photos, but if you’ve lost nearly 10 stone, and potentially not been working out throughout, you may have lost tone, and muscle, which will explain posture etc,

This could be like the awful "fat" photo taken of me aged about 18. I saw it, berated the person who took it and nearly burst into tears as my stomach looked inflated like a balloon.

Found it a while back, post dc, a couple of decades on and there I am: teeny, tiny size 4-6 with a concave belly.

Maybe you will look back on this with a totally different perspective aged 75 and wonder why you were not enjoying your youthful skin and full head of hair. Our reactions to our own photos can be so subjective and full of emotion.

I read somewhere there are two main points when we see our ageing, early 40s and early 60s. For me it all went to shit at 44. I don't think I look older than my actual age. The real problem is that I feel younger than my age so when I look in the mirror I'm genuinely shocked at the person looking back.

10 years until the next dose of reality.

There's a photo of me as a teenager that I loathed so much I made my mother hide it. I looked monstrous, fat and ugly and disgusting beyond belief. In my head it was like the picture of Dorian Gray, morphing into a worse and worse monstrosity as it hid in her cupboard over the years.

Found it a while ago. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's beautiful but it's... absolutely fine. There's nothing wrong with it.

This! I will be 75 next month and about 10 years ago I saw myself reflected in a shop window and thought "Shit, woman! Stand up straight!" Head up, shoulders down, and you'll lose 20 years.

That was exactly how I felt - and I too had hidden it, which was how I absolutely knew it was the very same tear-inducing photo of horror.

Quite enjoy any chance to wave it round to tell the story now!

Same age and sometimes I catch sight of myself in a shop window and see my mother looking back at me ! 😱

I did 30 day shred after my 4th baby. Gillian still scares me.

I saw a photo of me at running club tonight, I didn’t realise how lumpy my legs were until tonight 😆

Being 40 is like a horror film called "I know I Did Look Good Last Summer" 😭😱

My body has suddenly morphed into a tub of playdough. My hair is a shit show. And nothings fits like it used to.

Solidarity op