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OMG, I could actually cry.

288 replies

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 18:10

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

OP posts:
Rpop · Yesterday 20:54

SoScarletItWas · Yesterday 18:21

Sometimes a bad photo is just a bad photo.

But you were dressed for dog walking. You hair was being windswept. You were maybe in a hunched pose dealing with the poo bags or the dog pulling.

Delete them and forget them.

Or, if they’ve made you realise you DO slouch a bit and your hair DOES need a tidy, take action. Notice your posture. Lose the few pounds from last summer.

I’d bet anything it’s just a crap photo, though.

Even celebrities who usually look incredible, can look terrible when snapped out on dog walks……

ProudMamaBear92 · Yesterday 20:57

I’m surprised not many people are saying this but, starting lifting weights. Lift heavy. Build muscle. 9st for 5’5” is very normal, but if you feel chubby or soft it’s lack of muscle. This will improve composition and posture as well as bone density, improved mood. You’ll sleep better and eat more without worrying. Sweating and excercise will improve your skin over time as it increases blood flow. When you’ve got a good muscle base you can wear a bin bag (or nothing 😉) and look great. Then just a new hair do will do ❤️

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 20:57

Right. In last few hours I've thrown a dye on my hair. Found my 'skin & me' bits and bobs and actually used them. Cleansed and moisturised and put some funny serum on. Had a shower and shaved my legs.
Blow dried and straightened by hair (been a long time since I've done that)
Put some nice body lotion on and laughed at a lot of the messages on here.

No, I'm not 30 anymore, no I haven't been looking great. I've been neglecting myself. My looks and my health but I feel half way human again at the moment so maybe all is not lost.

OP posts:
YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 20:58

And I am going to do some weights tomorrow. My son practically has a gym set up in his room so no excuses.

OP posts:
OhThePotential · Yesterday 21:01

wishingonastar101 · Yesterday 19:41

Oh god this just makes me feel more shite... Im 5.1" and 9 stone 3... feel like a whale.

Whale? Really?

I’m 5’ 0” and ten stone. I thought I was just a bit overweight but not too bad until this thread. I’ve been nine stone three before and quite happy with it 😳

ilovesushi · Yesterday 21:01

Husbands are shit at taking photos. Get a friend/ daughter/ sister etc to take one and I bet you look beautiful.

Thiswasanescapeplan · Yesterday 21:03

Rpop · Yesterday 20:54

Even celebrities who usually look incredible, can look terrible when snapped out on dog walks……

I am SO tempted to upload a pic of a celeb walking a dog with the obligatory circle of shame (cellulite, wrinkle, delinquent fringe) ala Heat Magazine circa 2002 so we can all feel better about life.

But this is 2026 and we're better than that. <Resist, must resist>

suki1964 · Yesterday 21:04

I think 40's are hard on a woman. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my big sister and was horrified Luckily my 40's were very busy so I didnt really have time to grieve the passing of my youth

50's and I accepted youth was long gone and this was left

So I glammed up

After not wearing cosmetics or doing skin care - I started to learn what suited me and made me happy with the results

I got a hair style that suited this new face

I got underwear that gave more support in the right places, bras that kept everything in place without bulging everywhere ( Im not fat - flabby ) , knickers that covered the flabby apron without bits escaping from the sides

Tamed the eyebrows

Great hair style that I can deal with and I keep up with hairdressing appointments

Cosmetics that suit my skin and lifestyle - and whilst brightens, doesnt cake or settle . I also started to use a mirror and I keep on top of the chin hairs , redness, dryness

And bought clothes that actually fit properly and suit me

Now I feel aged 61 Im the best version of me I have been for 20 odd years

Oh and I now watch my diet, exercise etc

And I dont do "candid" photos because I have totally convinced myself Im looking good, I dont want proof other wise :)

HerringboneDress · Yesterday 21:05

Mate it’s the wide leg trousers, they look hideous on everyone.

Youtookyourtime · Yesterday 21:08

What did you do to lose 9 stone if you didn’t do any exercise? Diet only?

allthegoldicouldeat · Yesterday 21:13

I don’t let my DH take photos of me, as he always manages to take them at the most unflattering angle. I’m 62, but he makes me look far older.
I look passable in photos taken by anyone else (and in real life).

80smonster · Yesterday 21:13

Do you have children? I’ve aged about 20 years since DD (8 years) was born.

Cheesegrapeschutney · Yesterday 21:14

I'm 41 and about your height& weight but have always taken a terrible candid photo, couldn't believe some my friend took on a mountain walk last year (and then sent me on my birthday, for reasons best known to herself). Facially on them I look like Peter Mandelson (I'm female) but cross/confused and with a withered double chin! And sort of hunched and with spindly, gamey legs. I don't look like that in posed photos so have just told my friend not to do that again and moved on! I have worked on my posture/strength and tone in key areas since too.

Thecows · Yesterday 21:14

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 20:58

And I am going to do some weights tomorrow. My son practically has a gym set up in his room so no excuses.

Brilliant 👏 well done OP x

dollyblue01 · Yesterday 21:14

I’m the same age and weight but 5’2 I really do have to make an effort these days , things started to change once I hit 41 , I look horrible in pics but better in real life ha so I don’t stress I’m just not photogenic at all, if you do one thing go get your brows professionally waxed and tinted they frame your face and make you look abit more awake.

JuliaBraverman · Yesterday 21:14

Everyone gets a bad angle pic from time to time!

Zoopet · Yesterday 21:16

I am 68.
I thought I looked quite good in my capri jeans and layered tops- smart and trendy.

Went to the local Asda and caught sight of this frumpy,mis-matched woman in a random mirror.

I looked like a bag lady.

Swift departure home and complete outfit dumped into charity bag.
Following all the advice on here with interest!

Disturbia81 · Yesterday 21:18

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 20:51

I did 30 day shred after my 4th baby. Gillian still scares me.

It gets easier! Ny body started changed in weeks

Allisnotlost1 · Yesterday 21:28

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 18:25

Because he just saw the woman he loves walking her dog and thought I would see the same thing he does?

But I'm obviously a lot more critical of myself than he is off me, I told him I look awful and he text 'what are you on about? You look lovely'

Maybe you do look lovely? From your description you’re not overweight (are you maybe a little underweight for your build? That can be ageing.) It’s really windy here and I look mad when I walk the dogs, usually have headphones in so either laughing at what I’m listening to or talking to the dog. I’d hate to see a picture of myself!

Calliopespa · Yesterday 21:30

Zoopet · Yesterday 21:16

I am 68.
I thought I looked quite good in my capri jeans and layered tops- smart and trendy.

Went to the local Asda and caught sight of this frumpy,mis-matched woman in a random mirror.

I looked like a bag lady.

Swift departure home and complete outfit dumped into charity bag.
Following all the advice on here with interest!

Oh no! I don't think you could really have looked bag lady in your capris - they are very bag lady'ish!

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 21:31

Zoopet · Yesterday 21:16

I am 68.
I thought I looked quite good in my capri jeans and layered tops- smart and trendy.

Went to the local Asda and caught sight of this frumpy,mis-matched woman in a random mirror.

I looked like a bag lady.

Swift departure home and complete outfit dumped into charity bag.
Following all the advice on here with interest!

Its usually those cameras at the self check out that get me.

What are they trying to do? Distract shoplifters with a momentary loss of self esteem so strong they accidentally pay??

OP posts:
Calliopespa · Yesterday 21:33

HerringboneDress · Yesterday 21:05

Mate it’s the wide leg trousers, they look hideous on everyone.

Yes I have to agree with this. Worse still are the barrel legs. I cannot fathom how that trend caught on except maybe even the models look so awful everyone feels model-like?

But those high waisted wide legs are really not that flattering, unless your legs really are quite heavy, in which case I guess maybe they cover well.

Trumptontown · Yesterday 21:35

YouDontKnowBoutBenom · Yesterday 21:31

Its usually those cameras at the self check out that get me.

What are they trying to do? Distract shoplifters with a momentary loss of self esteem so strong they accidentally pay??

Haha they are the worst. We’re just trying to go about our day, only to be confronted with that! 😭

LasersInTheJungle · Yesterday 21:36

I used to be quite 'alternative' but I just grew out of it and anytime I try and get back there it feels like a costume now, rather than me.

Agh.
This is me, OP.
After kids I couldn't wear the same style outfits but was determined not to be "boring". But that was too hard and now I'm boring and look shit with it as well!!

Walkingonairdays · Yesterday 21:36

HerringboneDress · Yesterday 21:05

Mate it’s the wide leg trousers, they look hideous on everyone.

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