OMG, I could actually cry.

[YouDontKnowBoutBenom]

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

Yes exactly true 💚
I was just going to say the same, 9 stones isn't much weight for
5 feet 5inches 🫂
They say muscle weighs more than fat but still, even if you don't have much muscle tone, 9 stones is still light in weight for your height -
I'm of quite small frame so even putting on just few pounds can look like more with my frame
💚✨💚

i had a “moment” similar to how you described a couple of years ago, i’m 58 now so was about 55/56, i’ve never looked my age, not in a bragging way, more so because i’m only 5ft and petite, but all of a sudden i felt my face and neck looked old, i had a permanent frown line after a tough few years and eye wrinkles that my makeup settled in making it look worse, and mouth just looked downturned 🙈 long story short, i started to have botox,only a little, so much so that no one really noticed, but i could tell, and it made me feel better about myself and more confident, and i started to make a bit more of an effort with myself, eventually my husband asked what was different as my skin looked fresher, and i looked happier ( i fessed up about the botox 😂 and he was like well its made you happier so worth it). Like you i got my hair coloured which makes a difference, I think a lot of it is making time for yourself and you do sound as though the little things you’ve changed already have cheered you up, (hair makeup), but i would def recomend botox, fillers seemed a bit more scary to me, as with botox, i’m only tightening whats already there 😂 x

17 in Boots do a CC cream called Glow is Everything for about £5. Ignore the fact it is 17, some of the reviews are from older ladies who like it. I quite like the Elf concealer.

You’ll look back at that photo in a few years and think what was I worried about I looked great.

I never thought I would do Botox/filler but I’m mid-40s and was looking like shit. I found a great woman (nurse) who is subtle and have had both. Nobody has noticed - not even DH or my best friends. But I notice and it has made me a lot more confident. A little can go a very long way. A couple of people have even said I look in my 30s recently. Whether it’s the interventions directly or my new confidence I can’t be sure

I usually do Move With Nicole 😀

If you don’t make any effort at all like you clearly don’t then that’s probably why! Some people are naturally beautiful and can pull off no makeup and the natural look! I prefer me with a bit of a tan but then it makes me more wrinkly so I avoid too much sun, wear tinted moisturiser instead, foundation, bronzer and blusher. I pluck my brows and wear lip balm and lipstick too. I don’t bother with mascara as it ends up under my eyes and I look older!

I straighten my hair and always feel better for it. I’m the same age and size as you. I also use tinted moisturizer on my body.

I have thought about Botox etc but am too scared so am going to just try and help myself with a better skin care regime, more water and less alcohol ….

Wow ok just saw this! That makes sense then!! What an amazing achievement but explains why you feel saggy!

Agree with this OP

I think your DH is doing well for taking candid photos. My husband never does. Will not press the camera button until everyone is posed and looking straight at the camera! I wish he’d think to take the odd snap

As for your original post, I relate. I’m a similar age to you. I feel like I suddenly aged in the past year. No particulate weight gain in that time (though I’m not slim), but suddenly feel very matronly/drab. I don’t have a solution but agree with PP who say it’s probably just a bad set of photos, catching you in unflattering posture.

(That said, the other day I felt I looked decent, so could some of this be down to mood?)

I doubt OP’s nails or skin texture are the problem in these snaps (unless her DH is a dab hand with the zoom).

OP’a diet might already be basically fine, and if so better not to start beating herself over treats.

However, where I do think our self care affects looks significantly is hydration and sleep. I think I look about 10 years older if I’ve been burning the candle at both ends and hydrating poorly. Maybe you were just tired and hydrated that day OP!

This.
There's a beautiful woman inside you waiting to come out. Make time to find her.

@FridayNighFeeling - thank you for your msg, it is the outer third, yes. I did have a load of blood tests done last year and my thyroid was fine, but I think it’s time to get retested, as the weight/anxiety/hair loss has got worse since then.

If you were comfortable and in clothes you like feck it! I will say there’s days I’ve looked at pictures where I let my hair dry naturally and whereas before I left I thought I looked natural and healthy I looked at the photo and thought I looked worse than any witch any film had ever depicted 😅

You want to get the readings and Google it. The UK says levels of various things are "fine" that other countries call "needs treatment". If you can't get help on the NHS you might have to go private.

Because my h can see the most awful photos of me and still genuinely think I look lovely?! Am sure many men are the same…

We are far harder pn ourselves than other people are.

OP, If I thought I actually looked the way I do in most photographs, I'd never leave the house. JS

Be happy you looked good in photos that long- once out of teenage I looked terrible.

There comes a time when youth fades you have to make more effort. I find a bit of a tan helps so have sat in the garden reading a book for an hour a few times in the last month. There's some gradual tan in the drawer I haven't tried yet.

I have a hair trim and a mani pedi every six weeks. I put on a bit of makeup every day, a spritz of perfume. I try to keep up with fashion trends. Adapting them.

I'm doing my physio exercises twice a day or I seize up these days.

I ought to do weights and start swimming again 🙈.

OH and I bloody hate our ring doorbell 🤬

All the posts on here have cheered me up! I take the most horrendous photos; I’m just not photogenic at all. I know I look okay in reality but my sister always looks fantastic in photos and I want to kill her, especially when she insists we have one taken together. I think bone structure has quite a lot to do with it; that’s my excuse anyway 🤣🤣🤣

Ease up on the self hate. I’m sure you don’t look that bad. We all get older.
It may be just the photo. I don’t photograph well at all and I’m sure I’m better looking than photos of me. 😂

@YouDontKnowBoutBenomBefore you go mad buying makeup, go to your local department store and book a free half-hour makeup session

You usually don’t pay as long as you buy at least one item from them. Once you know the look, you can go to Superdrug and buy similar products more cheaply.

Most importantly, get yourself a daily skincare routine: cleanse and moisturise morning and night. I use CeraVe from Boots. Not expensive and very natural

As for clothes, I think you said you used to like alternative styles. You absolutely still can, dress in them. I’m older than you and I dress alternative — a mix of punk, goth and colour thrown in. There are styles for the more mature person now

Disturbia, Killstar and The Ragged Priest are my favourites, with a bit of Joe Browns added for colour.

With your hair, I know you said you’re growing it out, however regular trims are better for it. Otherwise you can end up stuck with dead ends, which make your hair look and feel worse

Good luck

Oh yes & they will notoriously tell us our thyroids are working just fine 😥
I was dismissed & fobbed off by my doctor until I wrote all of my symptoms down & a new doctor said my weight gain, puffy face, hair loss dry skin etc pointed towards Hypothyroidism
Thankfully he didn't dismiss my low thyroid level blood test results
No matter how healthily I consumed, I'd gain weight
I was finally prescribed Levothyroxine but even to this day, I've to advocate for myself & be extremely careful because for some reason doctors can be pretty clueless when it comes to Hypothyroidism & can wrongly reduce Levothyroxine when Thyroxine is imperative for Our Metabolism & all of the things our Thyroid is responsible for doing to keep us healthy
Having a healthy functioning Thyroid isn't the luxury they sometimes make you feel you're asking for, but it is imperative & vital to our basic health
💚 Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best
💚🙏💚

I am on Levo and my levels are 'in range now' so Dr acts like everything is great.
My symptoms are exactly the same though. Being in range hasn't changed my tiredness, fatigue, being cold all the time, brittle discoloured nails, hair loss etc etc etc

so i stopped drinking 5 months ago. i hate photos of myself. we went away with family over half term and photos were taken and i for once thought wow i look ok. i’m 51, 5’9 and 11stone for reference.