OMG, I could actually cry.

[YouDontKnowBoutBenom]

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

Diet isn't only about gaining or losing weight.

More water, less junk, more fruit & veg, more fish, more calcium & iron can all help with smooth skin, glossy bouncy hair and strong nails.

What do you mean by candid?

Do you mean he took you unawares? I would hit the roof if that was me

Anyone can take a snap in a millisecond and we are pulling a funny face or double chin hanging down or look like we're chewing a wasp or something.

Thats not what we look like most of the time.

Prob sounds weird but have you edited the picture....not the face blur, jjst the normal different colour settings....try black and white? Hides a 1000 sins.

I refuse to have pics with my teens without a flash. For some unknown reason I look 100x times better. I always get an eye roll...I just remind them they will be me one day 🤣

So do i 😂

I absolutely guarantee that if you got yourself dressed up and took some more carefully curated photos, ie not candid ones on the dog walk where nobody looks their best, you'd be much happier.

It's just a bad photo and I bet anything it's not as bad as you think it is; your husband isn't seeing what you see. My niece once ran from the room in tears over a photo of her where for some reason she wss convinced she looked like an ogre. It was an absolutely beautiful photo. I swear I don't know what she was seeing.

Golly I would rather have that than the whole world thought I was attractive. We all age, none of us are going to look 21 forever - You have a husband who sees you as beautiful even when you are windswept and dishevelled, maybe we need to see ourselves as those who love us see us. And, it is only a bad photo if all you care about is being pretty - You're far more interesting than just your outer shell.

kids? Stressful job?

What on earth 🤦‍♀️

My DP takes all sorts of photos of me posed and unloved sone with no warning. He doesnt do it to be cruel or unkind he is capturing memories and on the ones where I think i look like a bag of shit he doesnt see that at all he tells me I look beautiful and thats all he ever sees, makeup or no makeup, joggers or dress

I’m 5ft 4 and 10 stone. If you look huge I must look obese!

She doesn’t make a single comment about looking big

I used to be an aupair. I have had two single dads who said they hired me because I looked plain on the images and won't be a temptation....in the flesh, a pocket rocket with dazzling green eyes and black hair - YEARS AGO.

I’m 62 and my face looks not too bad for my age. I’m a bit squishy around my middle but I’m going to the gym now. I’ve never smoked, always been quite a healthy lifestyle wise but lacking in exercise. No Botox or fillers.
i would say eat a healthy diet, no smoking, limit drinking, exercise regularly and protect your skin from the sun. Get a haircut when it has grown out a bit more. Take a friend with you and do some clothes shopping.

I am the same. Not very photogenic. Once, a guy even said to me on a 1st date - you look much better in real life 😂

What did you do when they told you this?

how long do you keep your hair?

Your husband just takes crap pictures of people. Mine takes fantastic shots of landscapes or inanimate objects, but just has a knack of any person captured by his lens looking terrible. Not just unposed unaware ones either, I recently saw some he took at a wedding when he was stood behind the actual photographer, and the stunning bride with her professional hair and make up still has been magically transformed into a potato. I don’t know how he does it.

I'm 48, 5 ft 5, just under 8.5 stone.

The thing that has made the biggest difference to how I look is adding weights to my exercise routine. My posture is better, I stand taller, my upper body has good definition (in the right light 🤣)

I don't do heavy gym weights - the heaviest I have is 5kg. But regular use has definitely made a difference.

My friends used to joke about how I’m the opposite of most people, I look better in photos. I think that came from back in the age of 1000 photos taken on a digital camera on Facebook for every night out I managed to avoid looking horrific because I didn’t drink as
much as others. So anyway, now every time I have a bad photo I think ‘Jesus if the photo is that bad, what do I look like in person ?!!’

OMG WTF has the patriarchy done to us all! I can totally relate to all these feelings @Whosthetabbynow I have to say your comment actually made me laugh out loud. I bet you’re all bloody gorgeous, spinning a thousand plates,
got incredible mental loads and we’ve all been conditioned to believe that somehow as women we’re only worthy if we look like Claudia schiffer!

I know the Ozempic clan will come at me for this, but society now has an unhealthy obsession with weight loss drugs, which are marketed every where. It’s not healthy when they advertise it everywhere and people don’t want to get to a healthy weight - only skinny will do.

we’re also not allowed to age, and with so many fillers, Botox treatments and surgeries about nobody has any idea what an ageing woman is meant to look like.

im constantly comparing myself to my mates, but they’ve had work and I haven’t. I now only look at health role models in their 40, 50, 60 and genuinely think having no treatments or surgery, trying to eat healthy, life weights and walk a lot will stand me in good stead.

fuck the patriarchy, fuck unrealistic beauty and weight standards. Sending love to all
you beautiful ladies xxx

And for what it’s worth…
same age ish, height… about 5 stone heavier. 😬

Same here 😝

Sounds as if you’re describing a pedigree dog!

I echo all the PP about the fact he probably caught you at an awkward angle and while you were windswept.

But also, I think as a society we’ve lost sight of the fact that it’s not natural to stay looking young forever. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having laughter lines, crows feet and so on. So many women have Botox and fillers - and everything else - that it’s becoming less common to see a natural face.

OP, you say you have embraced the natural look with no make-up. Don’t feel as if you have to start wearing make-up if you don’t want to. There are plenty of other things you can do - good moisturiser, lots of water, skincare, vitamins (if needed). Get your colours done so you’re not wearing a colour that ages you. Black is actually hard to wear, it’s quite severe. Exercise, good haircut. You just need to get the basics in place.

I’m 50 and the only thing I’m finding really annoying is my thinning hair - but biotin and a good cut are helping with that. Plus it’s harder to lose the weight! But the rest of getting older I’m embracing while taking care of myself the best way I can.

I bet you are beautiful - you just need to believe it. Your DH clearly thinks you are. Don’t let your self-esteem be dented by one set of unflattering snaps.

🤣🤣🤣 glad I made you laugh. I was horrified! My looks opened opportunities for me in the 80s and I think I’ve got stuck there in my head. Looking older is hard but it’s not about me anymore. New baby granddaughter born today. A sister for her 1 year old brother. New joys to be had rather than looking in the mirror xx

I never said I looked huge :/