Help me dress for posh Denmark summer wedding

[RubyFatball]

I’m lucky to have been invited to the summer wedding of an old friend. Without giving too many outing details, she’s Danish, a top professional in her field, no kids, and is marrying into aristocracy (the wedding is at their family house in the Danish countryside, which resembles a stately home). She’s always been incredibly elegant, wafer thin with a capsule of beautifully chosen clothes in quality fabrics. Amazing hair, teeth, skin, very very little makeup.

Im usually found in jeans and boots but like to think I scrub up well. Stumped as to what to wear though. Don’t want to feel like a dumpy English broad among tall willowy athletic Danes. I definitely don’t want to look like I’ve tried too hard - ideally want to look like I dress up and go to insanely posh weddings all the time!

I also have no idea about what’s customary to wear for a wedding there, does anyone know?

Can anyone recommend where to start with an appropriate outfit for the event?

I'm Swedish and I think it's pretty apt :D Swedish weddings are likewise terrible. Although I don't get the reference to novelty songs on the telly?

I think that's a beautiful dress too. I really like Wyse & have lots of their stuff, including this style in a print.

But the OP hasn't given any idea of labels, styles, colours SHE likes - she's just told us about the wedding, & what she looks like.

Most of the suggestions (including some of my own) have gone for beautiful, classic, minimal single-colour dresses. Muted & discreet & blend in with what PPs anticipate that Danish women will be wearing.

And lots are gorgeous - so if the OP wants to avoid hurting any Danish guests' eyes with bright pink or large florals, she can play it safe & choose one of those.

If it were me though, my priority would be what I love & feel great in. And I would take the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity this offers to wear British & vintage - because there are soooo many amazing dresses that fit the bill to choose from!!

I don't necessarily like all of the dresses I posted, & despite being tall there's only a few I would choose myself (or would have worn when I was a size 10). But if the OP chooses to go down a slightly more individualistic route (instead of a pink Wyse or Joseph dress) I was trying to give her some inspiration & ideas ...!!!

for starters, julbingo is particularly painful 💀 also the mello presenters love to burst into song when we are waiting for the voting to come in- erm please just present the show

and you do have a real abundance of variety shows with skits and sketches which just seem so much more musical theatre rather than what the UK has on comic relief and the like

ållsang also a uniquely Swedish experience!

i think it’s the lovely tradition of folk music and all coming together. i meant the kitsch and naff endearingly 🥰

Wow I’m so gratified by all the comments thank you so much! Laughing at the Swedish/danish wedding traditions, I had no idea. I quite like the idea of a meal that goes on for ages, no complains from me there!

I guess style wise, I naturally veer away from florals and prints. I like neutrals, deep and muted colours with the odd jewel tone. I’m not a frill person. Silk dresses bother me for a wobble/texture perspective.

I’ve seen a few quite structured/slightly balloon shape dresses I quite like. Id be happy with knee length (skinny legs) and happiest if my upper arms are covered (tattoos which don’t scream aristocracy)

Silk dresses bother me for a wobble/texture perspective.

I so agree with this!

There was a silk dress posted on a thread recently and I mentioned the wobble thing and no-one seemed to know what I mean. But I see lots of wobble effect dresses out and about and I'm not sure it's the most flattering look.

I think plain/jewel colours sounds a good call. The floral thing doesn't always translate outside the UK.

I think you’d be a fool to assume this will not be a classy or dressy wedding. The men will be in suits and anyone uniformed may choose to wear their dress uniforms.
Scandinavian women in that layer of society travel and are stylish as hell and you will likely see long evening dresses and midi dresses. No “mother of the bride” outfits, they tend to be a little trendier/modern.
Without knowing your style, I’d suggest a nice silky dress with either a cardigan, shawl or similar as Danish weddings also go on forever and think about footwear as a country wedding might involve gravel drive ways and drinks on the lawn. Typically Danish women do not wear hats to weddings but have pretty hair updos or a hair brooch.

I am thinking Hobbs, neverfullydressed, Monsoon, Reiss, Boden etc.

Etiquette:
If it’s a seated meal you may not be sitting with your plus one (if you have one).
There will be a lot of cheering with drinks. The correct way to do that person to person is the raise your glass, smile, look at the other person and say Skål, sip and then look at the person again and smile, maybe give a little nod. If someone is doing skål with the whole crowd (like at the end of a speech) you also look at your table mates after and before you sit down. WATCH YOUR ALCOHOL INTAKE.
If it’s a buffet, the norm is to go back and forth and they might change over the food on the tables between courses so don’t load up your first plate like you’re at a Toby carvery or they’ll think you’re a savage. Don’t be scared to ask about the food if anything is new.
Speeches are out of control in Denmark. After the groom, dad, best man, ANYBODY can give a speech so be prepared for a long evening. I don’t think it will be the case at this posh wedding but there could also be a song, I shit you not.
Dancing is vigorous and they like to dance in pairs old school especially the older and the country people. Good luckand say yes to requests for a boogie.
There may be a meal at end of he night called Natmad (night food). You eat that and then it’s probably time to go home.
They may also invite you for breakfast or brunch the next day and this will normally be smart casual.
Gifts: lists are not the norm so if you bring a gift make sure it’s wrapped in style and the card safely secured and leave this at the gift table.
A lost art since Covid but the Danes introduce themselves and shake hands so be prepared for that and small talk. This starts at the church.

Do you mean with the silk (well, usually polyester on the high street) satin bias cut type of dresses/skirts - a la Rixo?

I can't quite imagine any wobble with silk twill, so that's all I can think of re what you mean!

I think most of what I posted will emphatically NOT be your style then, OP!!

But thanks for posting with an unusual brief anyway - as I had great fun looking for the quirky vintage British stuff ...!!

Now I need to wangle an invitation to a very upmarket Scandinavian wedding - just so that I can spill out of a rose-printed Vivienne Westwood dress, & shock the entire wedding congregation ... 😁

Yes, you are right, sorry, I do actually mean satin, and yes, especially bias cut - like a nightie.

It creates a kind of undulating wobble on even the boniest candidate - and then if bony you have protrusion as well! Just not a good fabric.

I think people look at it when standing still in the mirror and it looks ok, as nothing is on the move. See also lycra gym pants.

Sounds like jewel colours are your friend then for a summer wedding. I’m a little surprised at the suggestion of muted colours for weddings. What they wear in the street is not what they wear at weddings and I’d expect a lot of the ladies to be in pastels unless they’re super old.

Do a search on “bryllup” on Instagram and look through the pictures

I am neither tall or very slim. I wore a Joseph silk cotton to my daughters wedding, as I really did not want to look a traditional MOB. I was thrilled with the dress, and would highly recommend. Hope you have a lovely time.
I am posting a photo to show I am NOT a willowy type and still looked ok.

Ah, I remember you posting before on this very topic, when I'd posted photos of Kate Moss in her original 30s dresses in bias-cut silk satin!

I agree that slimness definitely helps - when I wore them I was very slim - & young, & toned!

I think part of the issue though is women wearing thongs, so that their underwear is "invisible". So that the buttocks (which house our biggest muscle, but probably also many women's least toned!!) will wobble - in lots of fabrics, not just silk- or artificial silk-satin!!!

Seamless big knickers are the answer ...

Oh, I've posted that blue dress before as I love the shape!! The colour looks great on you as well as the shape - I hope you get plenty more opportunities to wear it!

You look wonderful!

Fimofriend gives very good advice.

In Denmark, large floral prints would be considered as only appropriate for women over ninety, i.e. elderly and infirm.

However, you could pull it off as you would be viewed as 'eccentric British'.

We must be of a similar era!

I, too, wore those dresses after Kate Moss, and we were all whippet thin so it almost worked, but I look at the photos now and am sure we could have looked so much nicer with something properly designed.

@Calliopespa ”undulating wobble” ☠️☠️☠️

Exactly this I’m trying to avoid - I mean those kind of Ghost dresses that are just one piece of bias/cut shiny fabric and often have thing spaghetti straps. I even find that with big knickers that creates a suspect sort of firmness that shouts “supportive undergarments”

I need structure, I think. @Tootyfilou your MOB look is beautiful and I adore the colour!

@NosyJosie your etquette tips punctuated with “there could also be a song, I shit you not” really helpful details and also very comical, thank you! I’m imagining being asked to dance like Elizabeth Bennet (with more tattoos)

Golly doesn't your DD look beautiful!

I'm so sorry @Tootyfilou , I missed the edit window after I realised how totally rude my last last post was in complimenting your DD and ignoring your dress - which was, as you say, really lovely. You both look wonderful, and I love the colour on you.

I was just a bit 😳and👀and was typing on a knee-jerk because she really did look lovely!

@Calliopespa Thank you, naturally as her mum, I think she was the most beautiful bride in the world! But I think even objectively she looks amazing.

If you aren’t a fan of bright colours and strong patterns (me neither) and want to avoid a clingy ‘gown’ effect (me too, big time), something like this might work. It’s minimalist but I think the sleeves and sash add a bit of interest. gb.maxmara.com/p-5221156206008-wkdpioppo-light-blue?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GB_eng+%7C+LF+%7C+PER+%7C+GOO+%7C+SEA+%7C+Performance+Max&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21023033023&gbraid=0AAAAAoWHctGBHg_5eXxLVwuAFLcOfUyvh&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmunNBhDbARIsAOndKpmOlSe_osZ2YsScQ7bbfcIgLezfalOCfyd_6jqViQHWyo9hK_6DHC4aAqy2EALw_wcB

You’ll also need to consider what to wear as a cover-up, whichever dress you choose. My experience of Scandinavian weddings (in fact most social occasions) is that a lot of it has spent outside, despite the prospect of more challenging weather. In fact, two of the three Scandinavian weddings I’ve been to involved guests being rowed to a small island, which was fun if unexpected.

That MaxMara dress looks pretty perfect for the occasion, but when I’ve tried their frocks, I’ve found them rather unforgiving. Designed to be challenging so that they can only be worn by the already perfect, rather than helping you look great. Maybe I tried the wrong ones.

Also it’s true about the weather and the risk of unexpected boating.

Well it is lovely as nightwear, but I'm afraid that unless the wedding has a nightwear theme - I hope not - I think that this dress is unsuitable for any wedding, in any country. Sorry.

This could fit your style perhaps - one jewel colour, arm cover, waist tie detail to conceal tummy, lovely hem detail, no clingy silk...

www.wyselondon.com/products/cath-x-wyse-lauren-dress-raspberry-pink?_gl=11rzl2h4_upMQ.._gaMjk2MzY2NjQxLjE3NzM5MTMyNzI._ga_K9GVDC04ZT*czE3NzM5MTMyNzEkbzEkZzAkdDE3NzM5MTMyOTMkajM4JGwwJGgxNTEyMDQ0OTIw&gclid=CjwKCAjw1N7NBhAoEiwAcPchpzt0Syktyxc5yIqI8HAI6tedUrtkuhpAQ8cmrMyGHpXgDRIZmCtd_RoCe-gQAvD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAACqaK2K1znZ89jVXY_O4C3ybdBh4L