Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

Nope sorry.

I used to have a monobrow. It was not a good look. Nor were my hairy toes.

Just quired this with 1st year dd of 18. Her response was Mum knowbody will care or notice people just want you to be a nice human. Not at a RG but top UK uni so.much the same! Her flatmates too are a varied bunch with may alternative bod's knowbody bats an eye. I think that generation are just more accepting.

Yuck. Great dark bush of underarm hair with a prom dress. Absolutely no no no. Try out her rebellion against shaving some other time

My teen DD looks at me like I'm mad if I suggest she might want to remove any body hair. Good for them I guess.

I’d be very surprised if this caused a problem at university. Just let her be herself.

Would you expect you son to shave his arm pits?

Would it even cross your mind to question his natural body like this?

If not then take a long think about why your pushing harmful misogyny onto your daughter.

Yes, well at least dinosaurs have nice smooth armpits. Osteoderms maybe, but not hairy pits!🙆

I think it's all the rage op. So glad I'm not 18

So if people are so accepting then why are all these young girls getting fillers?

I suppose they aren't the same people but isnt it weird- at one end of the spectrum, young women are getting fillers and at the other end women are not shaving and going au naturel.

They say young men and women are polarized but I think the polarisation must exist between women.

I am a millennial and I remember at that age I was all about Lisa Eldridge and Jeanne Damas and Caroline Hirons- very product heavy and very heteronormative.

It’s a lot more acceptable nowadays. I find it offensive though, women’s armpits should be shaved.

Going by your own description of your rather fantastic dd it doesn't seem like she will even care if she does get mocked.
The world needs more women like her. I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine.

And she knows how to buy a razor if for whatever reason she changes her mind!

Why is it childish that some people have a different opinion to you? Can we not just live and let live?

In the BBC music proms last summer I saw a young woman singer dressed in a beautiful long gown, with hairy armpits. She looked fabulous, her armpits didn't detract from her dress whatsoever.

Interesting. I didn’t know this was a thing now. Good for them! As a millennial, I don’t even remember what my armpit hair looks like I haven’t seen it in so long. I’m now tempted to grow it and see 😆

Oh she sounds great. Congratulations on uni place. She'll find her own feet in her own time as she meets new people.

Interestingly I would find hairy armpits unremarkable but have a weird negative reaction to hairy legs on women. I honestly don’t know why (and my own legs are rarely shaved). I don’t share those feelings if I can help it though.

Why do you care whether you find the OP’s 18 year old daughter’s armpits attractive or not? Bet she’s gutted that some random lady (or man) on Mumsnet doesn’t like them.

Hibiscrub or bar soap will get rid of the smell even if the hair is there.

Its good that your daughter has the courage to be an individual and not fit in just for the sake of some outdated custom. Both my great nieces have hairy armpits and I doubt if they shave anywhere else. I have never asked them. I just wear a baggy kaftan around the house and no bra or knickers unless Im going out.

I have two uni-aged daughters and neither them, not their friends, have hairy underarms. Must be a different cohort/vibe.

Although we live somewhere hot where a lot of children do competitive swimming and/or lifesaving at some stage so hair removal is perhaps more culturally normal.

I admit to being amused a couple of years ago when my then DD18 didn't seem to give 2 hoots about body hair.

Fast forward 2 years and she wants to take me up on my offer to lazer. My younger DD doesn't like her growing body hair either.

The way I see it, is it's great they have the choice. Times have moved on, so taking a bic razor to your bikini line is as dated as a scornful attitude to leaving everything as nature intended.

No, she certainly won’t be alone. My DD and her friendship group are all pretty relaxed about body hair. Some remove, some don’t, and they don’t seem at all perturbed by either approach. I think there’s a real strength in this and it’s good to see.

Has she had a boyfriend / girlfriend at any point @hippospot ?

Do they wear full makeup a la the instagram influencers or are generally fashion conscious (will dress carefully and have a style).

'Should'? Who says so? Travel around, speak to people of different ages and cultures, and you'll find out there's no 'should' about it. And if a bit of natural hair offends you, you definitely need to get out more.

@currentskin no boyfriend or girlfriend yet, and I don't know which she'd go for either!