Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

The range of acceptable self-presentation has increased dramatically since I was young (1980s). Personally I like groomed but not overdone (so yes to body hair removal from armpits and legs and bikini line, yes to skincare, no to heavy makeup and injections in the young) but there are masses of possible acceptable tribes and it's best to let young women try out different ways of self-presenting and find out what they are personally comfortable with.

If I was 18 now I’d rebel - by getting rid of underarm hair 😁. I don’t like it - and think it looks horrible on men too!

I think there are two definite “tribes” of young women - the love island / towie types, fillers and implants and shaved everything, almost porn star like. And then the hippy dippy, non shaved, no / minimal make up, embrace your “authentic self” type. It’s very polarised. I find it interesting.

I had a dream recently where I was out in the summer and looked down and realised I had hairy legs poking out of my dress. I woke up in a cold sweat 😁 it has nothing to do with men, as I gave them up some year’s ago. I could be alone on a desert island and would still want hairless underarms and legs. If I was younger I’d have them lasered.

They have a bit more of a preppy / alternative vibe, not full make up - more a bit of winged eyeliner and lip gloss. I'd say they are pretty conscious of what they wear, trend aware but with their own sense of style.

They are also not that into Instagram and keep in touch mostly via a WhatsApp group, rather than putting much out there for the world to see.

WhatsApp? Around here anyone over 14 is on snapchat not WA.

I think there are two definite “tribes” of young women

Funny, that's what the Daily Mail says today what a coincidence

www.dailymail.co.uk/lifestyle/article-15502485/Would-you-look-like-MAGA-Melania-natural-Jessie-world-split-two-distinct-beauty-tribes-choice-says-lot-you.html

I don’t read the DM so that’s purely coincidental. It’s just something I’ve observed through my dd (22) and her friends.

I really don’t care at all about pits, but hairy legs are much more unusual and if I’m honest make me uncomfortable. It’s definitely a weird and not in line with my ideas about myself and people in general and it’s definitely not an aversion to hair itself because male hairy legs don’t register with me at all. A bit humbling to find your own sexist streak.

Why is everyone lying and saying it’s really normal these days. It absolutely isn’t normal. I don’t know a single person who leaves their armpit hair grow. Not one. I work in an office with people of all ages & have never seen a single person with their armpit hair hanging out.

I imagine people will think it’s odd, but they likely won’t say anything to her and I think you might have to just let her be. I wouldn’t mention it to her.

Wouldn't most people wear sleeves.

I often had hairy armpits but I wore a conservative dress with sleeves up to my elbow and black tights so you wouldn't see. My shorter sleeved dresses were often puff sleeves so even if I raised my arms you couldn't see.

I would shave like once in a few months.

Do you go around looking at peoples armpits? 😬, how would you know? Just because people in your office don’t go around with hair in show it doesn’t mean every female shaves.

I don’t always shave…l.I don’t work in an office BTW, but if I did it would probably make no difference. I don’t wear clothes that shows off my arm pit hairless I am on a beach.

Could be a fetish thread <boak>

I know - it is a bit unusual, but one of them refuses to have Snapchat and WhatsApp is their way around this.

It really depends where you live and the circles you mix in. Dd went to university in Nottingham and it was very boho / hippy / alternative and lots of hairy armpits around!

That is so not the same as well you know.

It is exactly the same. You are making a false distinction because it suits you.

Nope, one is keeping your body as nature intended, the other is enhancing what you have.

Because having an unasked for opinion on someone else's body an choices is fucking rude and out of line. Its what bullying young teens do and is childish behavior.

Opinion is 'I prefer tea over coffee' not 'I think other women bodies are gross and should be shamed'.

Its also a testimony to the power of brainwashing that so many women have accept the fact that their NATURAL body is in someway 'disgusting' but those exact same things on boys is absolutely fine. Its the same way period have been shamed for years and post birth body and women with bare skin. We are allowed to exist as is, we weren't put here to 'look pretty' for others personal tastes.

I'm middle aged and been rocking hairy armpits for a decade. The hair is fine and blonde, unless you stick your head right in their you wouldn't notice but I always wear sleeves anyway because I like my arms covered.

I do not shave my legs either but wear jeans.

Not armpits but an interesting fact for those who don't know and like random facts. The 'Hollywood' pubic look came in the 1980 as a response to the horrific outbreak of public lice on the Hollywood scene. Due to this people had to completely remove their hair to rid the lice and thanks to the hot commercialism of Playboy at the time this 'trend' was caught in real time and spread around the world. Which false showed the 'bald' look on women as standard (same way not all women where a size zero in the 90s/00s either, just those pushed in magazines making it seem the average).

I don’t even know if it is just down to sexism or patriachy. Most women don ‘t mind a man with a hairy chest or facial hair but most women don’t want to keep their moustache or chin hairs (or hairy chests), regardless of men. I like hair grooming for me and my approval. If I met a guy who liked hairy legs and armpits on women then tough, not going to happen.

Exactly.

I actually like the feeling of nice smooth legs post a shave. Slipping into fresh sheets on a summer's evening with freshly shaved legs is one of life's simple joys. We don't need to make every topic so laden.

If someone doesn't want to, then they don't want to.

lucky you, I hate sc

I’m assuming all the posters loving it also have hairy armpits? I find it aesthetically really unpleasant to look at, probably not cool to admit it here but for me it’s 🤢 and yes if I were a man it would turn me off.