Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

Yeah, it's still considered yuck by a some young people, young men in particular have always preferred less hairy women (I don't care if that fauxfends the fauxminists of the site just stating a fact) but it's certainly less prevalent atm to have to shave armpits and legs in the younger generations. And it's not like any man would ever knock back the chance of a shag because of armpit hair 😅

I give zero shits either way, though I admit to my older eyes hairy armpitted young women do not look attractive, it's jarring - but not my business.

Honestly who cares what others think - including me - if she is happy with herself? It's a big deal having to shave all the time so if she did start shaving to please others she'd probably go back to her own preference anyway over time.

Fashions in such things come and go - but I very much doubt anybody will comment, and if they do I guess she can re evaluate if she wants to worry about what they think. I'd just leave it, her body her choice.

I have a daughter at uni and she often doesn't shave her legs or pits, and then sometimes she does, same with facial hair. They are much more free about these things now and she will find others like her who are happy to present their natural bodies to the world. I think it's fun. They don't wear bras either very often, just crop tops occasionally, don't worry if anyone can see their boobs. So much nicer than in our day.

A good proportion of young people don’t shave their armpits unlike people 30 plus that largely do.

Your daughter sounds all kinds of awesome! I'm sure she'll have an amazing time at university - in my experience, it was the people who turned up with a solid sense of their values and who they were who gravitated most easily towards authentic friendships and had the best experience!

As for fuck the patriarchy women who don't change their name when they get married impress me far more than those who don't shave their armpits.

I love Gen Z, they are my spirit animal. Your DD sounds amazing, leave her be.

I have DD the same age who does use a razor for legs and armpits but I wouldn't worry about it. Your DD knows how to get a razor if she wants one. I guess you might want to explain have to use it safely in case she changes her mind.

You obviously didn’t watch Glastonbury OP. Not many hairless pits on the stages there. It’s all the rage.

I do shave but often forget to. I never wear sleeveless, even my wedding dress had sleeves. Its england, surely most people have a jumper on 99% of the time.

And uni isn't on during summer

That's brilliant. If by any chance some students look down on her she can decide whether or not she wants to change her body hair habits. She'll be fine OP, let her go.

I'd be really proud that you've raised her to be so true to herself and to be confident in how she expresses herself. Don't undermine that. I think college is usually a time where young people naturally experiment more and push boundaries and are confronted by diversity among peers which is great. I think she'll do just fine.

There's nothing sexually mature about chin hair!

Had a girl in my class who dyed it pink and always thought it was super cool. I can’t grow decent underarm hair which is strange since the rest of me is pretty hairy if left unattended.

She will be fine. I am sure she’s already had sniggering and comments about it to be honest.

I was replying in a hurry so I'll concede that point, but stand by the rest.

I think it's a thing these days to have hairy pits, my dd 20 doesn't shave and she's a cool Art Student in London- doesn't often shave legs either!

If she's hanging round with the filed lips, waxed sticky out bum brigade doing selfies of their arses she might stand out as odd, but if she's an academic type she probably won't!

I only shave my armpits thats all.
I dont care what others do with their bodys.

I am 33 and have an extensive beauty routine even as a mum of a 6 month old and dont leave the house without makeup (a mumsnetter just informed me she counted 16 products). It takes me 10 minutes.

But i dont really remove body hair, an odd stroke of my armpits and legs with a razor in a hot bath now and then perhaps. I find it boring so I don't bother. I always used to feel I should make an effort esp since I have a 70s bush but then the only person who sees it is dh so who cares?! I wear a swim skirt and I wear sleeves and tights. Summer is so short anyway.

I had no idea this was socially acceptable. Maybe I should just wear a one piece without the skirt in the pool and sleeveless dresses (but I dont really like how my upper arms look).

It's encouraging to hear that the "dark academics" are (hir)suting themselves but I fear there are plenty of young women still keeping the fanny waxers and laser techs in business. I also get the impression it's very much seen as the norm by young men because of the amount of porn they see - and that genie isn't going back in the bottle anytime soon, is it?
I do sincerely hope for all young women that pit power will prevail!

Gen Z give me a lot of hope. If I asked my 14 year old son about armpit hair I can guarantee he wouldn't give a shit whether other people shaved or not. I'm middle aged but even i no longer care about showing off stubbly arms whereas once I'd have been perfectly shaven.

I think education may play a part here. The young adults I see at my uni are very different in dress and grooming to the young adults I see in my home town.

16 year old dd does not shave armpits. Recently dyed it fucking blue which was enough to raise even my tolerant eyebrows but her peers really seem much more accepting than ours ever were!

"Public school types".

Lmfao.

It's her choice what she does.
If she is mocked, she can decide whether to do something about it or let it go over her head.
It sounds like she is happy in her own body and won't let it bother her.

Naw, don't say anything. She knows that it's not the norm, and that most people consider it off-putting. She's big enough to buy her own razor, and if she wants to court ridicule or insults, that's up to her.
She won't be accepted and approved by everyone throughout her life, so she may as well start encountering the problem now.

My experience is different with 17 and 14 year old dds. They shave armpits and legs (one waxes) and all their friends do.

But I don't believe your dd would have any trouble at uni whatsoever.
I persoanlly hate armpit hair and shave it to be less sweaty.