Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

I don't shave my armpits, its not necessary if you're just wearing clothing that covers them up all the time. But if I'm wearing something like a prom dress and I know I'm going to have bare arms, I will shave them for occaisions like that.

I mean fair play and good on OP’s daughter and all the other young women who feel comfortable doing this! But I have to say as a 39yr old woman who secretly shaved her legs (as in didn’t tell mum) from age 12 due to peer pressure in the late 90’s/early 00’s and still to this day don’t like hair overgrowing anywhere, and specifically for this post I give my pits a touch up every other day……. My honest opinion is I’m a little bit horrified by this trend 🤣 but seriously, good on them lasses 🙌🏻

Good for her. It's time we stopped all this unnecessary hair removal.

Oh dear god why? It is SO ugly - and you know that!

Any other uni she'd be fine. At a Russell group she is going to be trialled like a witch

I love how times have changed!

No, it's not. You've just become accustomed to not seeing it. Retrain your brain!

Do you think it's SO ugly on men too? Or just women?

I'm older generation as well. I wouldn't go around with hairy underarms (or legs, for that matter), but I remember in the 1970's book 'The Joy of Sex' (hidden in parent's bedroom & sneakily read by my friends & me) the woman had hairy armpits.

I bumped into my god-daughter (aged 20) one day in a salon where I was there to have my underarms & legs waxed & nails done. She confessed that she was there to have her pubic hair waxed into a 'landing strip', but I know that she keeps her armpits 'au naturelle'. 'Tidy' pubes seems to be a priority these days & hairy armpits OK.

Nope. Nobody will care. Loads of young people don’t shave.

Both - unwanted hair is horrible. Why do we shave our big toes, pluck chin hairs and eyebrows?

I am of an older generation and didn’t shave my underarms, neither did many of my friends. Shaving used to bring me out in a rash that sometimes became infected so I just stopped doing it. The relief! My mother hated it and would make snide comments but it didn’t make me reconsider. I was angry with her for judging me.

Russel Group is about research output, not about who goes there. I wish people would stop mentioning it as if it’s relevant. It’s certainly not relevant to armpit hair.

Ah you again.

It’s not my style but assuming she’s aware she’s going against the usual grain I’d leave her to it.

I've never seen any young girl / woman with hairy armpits 🤷‍♀️ since when? I can't remember. I don't see it in the street here in summer and have never seen it on my twice a year hot country holidays. It's fine though if people choose not to but don't make out that they are so much " cooler" than the ones who do. That's as judgey as people who would comment adversely about it.

What exactly do you mean by that?

If anyone at uni is upset by it, they quite rightly wouldn't perhaps be a person whose opinion she cared about.

Agree with everyone else, good on her etc etc and no I don’t think you should force the issue, but saying it’s all the rage and totally ‘normal’ - hard disagree. It definitely should be but not my experience with older teens.

*normal in this context is ‘accepted as the norm’. Of course it’s ‘normal’ to have underarm hair.

Tbh I do. I really don’t like bushy underarm
hair on men or women.

The lead singer of The Last Dinner Party rocked natural armpits at last year’s BRITS.

I work at an RG uni (no different to any other unis imo) and I doubt anyone would give a shit. And if they did, they wouldn’t say. Students are incredibly accepting and supportive of each other.

I'm sure she knows what she's doing OP. Unconventional is very fashionable these days especially when it comes to grooming stereotypes. Besides which, its not like a facial tattoo is it? If she decides it's the attention she gets is undesirable, she can easily shave or cover up if she prefers.

She'd probably be the weird one at uni if she had shaven armpits!

No. Myself and a few of my friends had armpit hair in uni (and still do), it was never mentioned. My (mid-20s) friend got married recently in a strapless dress with her hairy pits on show. Again, never mentioned.

I have a friend who's husband finds her hairy armpits extremely sexy & complains if she shaves (or otherwise removes the hair) when they go on holiday.

Horses for courses.