Hair change too drastic. Wtf have I done?

[MissMuffot]

I know it's just hair and it will grow back. That was my reasoning for doing it in the first place. I have a lot going on and I was just not washing my hair or taking care of it properly.

It was about 6 to 8 inches past my shoulders and dyed red. I couldn't keep up with the maintenance of it
And I felt like I had too much going on in my life to deal with such long hair.

After watching too many youtube videos, I decided to give myself a bob which obviously went very wrong and I ended up at the hairdresses. He decided that a pixie (between a bob and pixie) would be god for me and low maintenance, but he's basically just giving me a pixie with a fringe.

With my red hair, I was getting Sharon Osbourne vibes. So I try to put a brown dye over the top but it didn't take at all! so I ended up using a black dye I had in my bathroom.

So now I have Kris Kardashian vibes.

I just hate it so much. It's too dark for me.And I feel like all my femininity has gone.

I feel Ive aged myself 15 years.

I have a schwarzkopf colour remover on the way to try and get the black out.

I feel so stupid, my confidence has dropped. My kids were shocked.

DH keeps saying it looks 'cute'but I know he loved my long hair and I can just tell he doesn't really like it but he is absolutely teying to reassure me 🤣

Oh lord. Why did I do it??? 🤣😭😭

(Using dictation if nay mistakes)

Back to the hairdressers *me thinks

Sounds as if you have a lovely husband.

I shaved mine off two years ago. I was going through a really bad mental health episode. I absolutely hated it. Just remember, it'll grow back. As it's short, it won't take long for the dye to come out.

Head and shoulders is really good for fading dye quickly - try that instead x

We need pictures OP!!!

If you're using colour stripper it will make your hair feel really straw-like, so you'll need to use some hair masks/lots of conditioner to get some life back into it.
Then let it rest a couple of washes before you do anything else.

Are you the autistic poster asking for advice on going to the hair dressers earlier in the week?

Just leave your hair alone for a week. Wear a hat if you can tolerate it. Then in a weeks time decide what is the best thing to do with it.

Hi Op
I'm sure it looks fine, just not what you were hoping for.

Daily washing in H&S shampoo or washing up liquid will fade out the black. Your hair will grow faster than you think.

I've been there, hair disasters, and now I look back at the photos and laugh. I've also had to DIY everything in the past too, so you have my understanding.

Focus on looking after yourself and don't panic over something as temporary as a hair colour.

If it makes you feel any better, I got my below shoulder length poker very fine straight hair permed as a teenager. Hairdresser didn't think to mention that a) the tight curls would turn it into a bob and b) I couldn't have it re-permed as it grew out as my hair was too fine for it.
Cue straight lank hair and a mass of frizz 6 inches down before I could get it all chopped off. It has gone down in family legend and my sisters took great delight in showing my kids, everyone at my hen party, my 40th birthday, you get the drift!

I'm sorry you are miserable and having such a hard time. Try to see the funny side, it is just hair. Get your kids to take some photos for when it is something you can look back at and laugh, and remind your kids to stay away from hair dye 😁

For now, at least it is short so in a few weeks you can trim a bit more off and unless the pixie cut is really horrid it is at least something you can maintain while all the dye grows out. I guess the alternative is a buzz cut but unless you have the cheekbones of Demi Moore probably best avoided.

The suggestion to look up Audrey Hepburn and other pixie cuts on google images is a good one. Hair colour aside, one thing I notice is it tends to look really good with strong eyebrows and eye makeup so perhaps consider your overall look. Nothing worse than very dark hair to make you look washed out so perhaps go for a stronger look than usual to balance it? You might need to fish out some stronger colours from your wardrobe too.

Stop messing with your own hair. Leave it alone and save up to get a professional cut/colour in 8 weeks. Until then hats and scarves are your friend. Start looking at short cuts you like. Use AI to find styles that suit your face - take examples to the hairdresser. It is never a good idea to DIY after the first mistake. Work with a professional to get back on track. When I had short hair, by far the best way to find a good stylist was to ask people I saw with short hairstyles I liked who did their hair. I got quite a few decent stylist recommendation these days.

You're properly unhappy with it and have a lot going on lovely. Go nuclear - shave it off or ignore it entirely other than washing and wear a hat/head wrap for 3/4 months. Save up a little bit of cash during this time for a haircut. Start a fresh in a few months.

That's what I did when I accidentally cut it weirdly and dyed mine bright orange by mistake in a funny mental health period. Ignore it for a bit.

Hey op, I’ve done pretty much the same thing before, (stripped red then put a mid brown on that turned out nearly black due to my hair being porous) what worked for me was a mild beach bath, you can find the ratios and method on YouTube, it’s much less harsh than a colour remover which will leave your hair really porous, and will take you down a couple of levels so you won’t have that starkness which is upsetting you right now.
Then give your hair some deep condish treatments (and if you can afford it a bond repair treatment, there are some pretty inexpensive but still decent olaplex dupes available all over now) and in a few weeks reassess the situation.
The cut sounds like it was absolutely the right thing to do personal care wise at the moment, and I’m sure you will get used to it when the harsh colour is toned down.

Aww honey, you are right, it is only hair, it will grow back. Lesson learned though, eh
Sending hugs xx

I took my extensions out during lockdown, my hair was a mess, you can get some decent reasonably priced wigs on Amazon or Lullabellz

Been there done that. Exactly same downward spiral to the purchase of the colour remover!
If you do use it, your hair will be very porous afterwards, so try and colour with a semi-permanent only, in a much lighter shade that the end result you are after (because it will develop a lot darker than you expect).
Good luck! I bet your hair really suits you short, and in the plus side it will be in good condition and healthy looking xx

It wont work. Black probaly looks ok. Use head and shoulders or purple shampoo for a couple of weeks get the dark out if you strip it after all that colour your hair will fall out

Your DH sounds lovely - this is a big positive in your life 💗.

You are still recovering, so look after yourself by not making sudden moves or trying quick fixes of any kind while your judgement is still off-kilter. This is part of understanding your illness and taking responsibility for your wellbeing 💕.

If you were feeling robust, I'd say start over, shave all your hair off, and snuggle into soft and cosy cashmere hats for the rest of winter while it start to grow back, healthy and strong. But fragility and lack of money might make this unwise.

Instead, stop fiddling with it! and browse second-hand shops or ask friends for their unwanted hats to play with. Don't look in mirrors if doing so triggers you to feel bad about yourself.

Save up for a great professional cut in spring/summer - which will still likely be a pixie, because you'll have to cut off all that damage eventually.

I bet it looks loads better then you think. Plus its good to experiment and have short hair atleast once .
And just think about how much easier it will be to maintain

Ok. I have been here, or near enough.
No colour remover stuff.
Wash your hair about 15-20 times with washing up liquid. That will get a lot of the dye out.
Then use a lot of deep conditioner. Or, just use the conditioners that came in the box dyes to start with.
Spend some time getting to know the hairstyle. It's likely that the hairdresser dried it all voluminous which gave you the Sharon Osbourne vibes.
Let it air dry and lay a lot more flat. Don't use mouse or anything that adds volume. Play around with it until you feel better about how it is laying. Google Michelle Williams Pixie Cut.
As it grows, use toners (like Bleach London) to blend the colour. You can mix the Bleach London with conditioner to make it lighter.

I like Kris Jenner’s hair

I'm willing to bet it looks better than you think. We've all had hair dos we hate, and then they start to grow, we adjust to it, we learn how to deal with the new do, and the world slowly becomes a better place.

If I were you (once I'd reset myself and had a good cry) I would look online for photos of women with similar coloured and styled hair, to see what make-up they're using and give myself a bit of a makeover. If you've had long red hair then you won't be used to seeing yourself with short dark hair, and you're probably still using the makeup you've always worn - which might not suit your new look. Same with the colours of your clothes - what are you wearing now? Is that the best colour and style for your new hair colour? Also - is there another way you can style it? A different product you can use to give it a different shape?

I know you might not want to, but would you consider posting a photo so we can help you?

Ok. I'm not going to use the colour remover. I've got DH to hide it before I return it tomorrow because I'm too impulsive.
Im going to take a shower and use the head and shoulders to try and calm it down a bit. It doesn't look as bad in photos but its very dark.

I can wait it out. Its just hair.

Oh and yes, my husband is fantastic, he's always been super supportive.

I don't really wear make up, I feel daft if I do. I just wear mascara, a liquid eyeliner (catseye) and blush.

Thanks for the calming replies.

I actually feel a lot better now.

It will fade - dark hair dye often looks a bit scary at first

I think it looks cute and I think it will grow out nicely x