Skirt/ jumper look. Am I too big for it? Or doing it wrong

[pontipinemum]

Honestly, I like how this looks on other people but I am not sure if I am doing it right.

Pics are bad, we only have 1 proper mirror pushed into the spare room at the min. That's just the dress, jumper tucked and jumper untucked. Then in the wild.

I'm just not sure I pull it off.

That's just my kind of cardigan. (I don't really wear ecru - I'm too messy)

I’m not sure that’s doing you any favours.

How about something like this: https://www.marksandspencer.com/wide-leg-trousers/p/clp60506507

I agree with a belt. It's great you're beginning to find things you like and are comfortable with. I add a long cardigan and a colourful scarf (a square, not a long scarf) tied round the neck to this kind of look if i want to go somewhere that isnt the school run or the supermarket!

It's funny, I have made a shift from ecru/ beige to darker colour. Both were to hide strains.

Ecru - hid all the milk/ baby throw up!
Navy - hides sticky toddler fingers (and my own ability to spill everything on me)

I think the navy outfit definitely looks better. You need to size up in the cardigan though, as it's too tight. I'm a 12 & I size up to a 16 in the m&S cashmere cardigan.
Also unbutton some buttons & wear a scoop neck underneath to show some skin n & visually break up your bust. You need to avoid high necked anything .
I'm really not sure why you're happy to spend so much money buying & returning things, rrather than paying for an hour's online styling which would probably be cheaper 🤔

The navy look is cute! I second that about the scoop neck underneath. And opening a few buttons to create a V.

Online styling could be a cheaper option if you have to buy online - the fee can be off-putting but I've heard they suggest cheap enough clothing items.

I like the cardigan but I think you'd look better in the next size up (or two sizes up).
It looks better not tucked in to the belt (although I like the belt).
It's definitely a big improvement though

I think a T-shirt tucked in, with the belt and cardigan worn open would look better. I’m not loving the cardigan buttoned up and tucked in. It adds bulk - and you’re not bulky.

I think this would be incredibly aging for an OP with young children. Sorry.

No worries I was thinking of something the OP may be comfortable in that is a step up from leggings and some of the other photos shown.

I don’t like the top but I think the straight leg jersey trousers would work well on OP with a loose shirt. Much more comfortable than jeans as well.

I like the trousers you linked and don’t think they’re particularly ageing.

It does look better open.

I do want to meet with a stylist and I will. But probably in the new year.

I desperately needed new bras so did a bob measurement and bought 4 in M&S after the carti recommendations on here I bought one. I already had the navy t.

I've donated a lot of clothes that did nothing for me or were 2 sizes too big

I thought you had a new bra on but thought it might have been a bit too personal to mention it.

Well done on all the progress you've made OP. I'm a very similar height/size/shape and also have to wrestle with what suits my boobs/waist vs the look that lives in my head.

I completely understand why the stylist is an after christmas situation and this advice is just for down the line/something to bear in mind but I don't find cheap bulky knitwear works well for me. Obviously none of us are millionaires and we have to work with our own budgets but I find natural fibre knitwear looks much much better, it drapes better, lasts better and I think the quality difference is often very easy to spot. I have some success with men's knitwear which tends to have a much higher natural fibre content and be lower priced than women's.

Also, I'd recommend sorting out a legging look that you like and feel comfy in. You're not naturally going to become a different person overnight and your life is one with young children and not a lot of time. Consider maybe boots vs trainers, a long line shirt with some buttons undone etc. Play around. And good luck with it all!

I've just watched a video with Amanda Wakeley and she and colleague were in M and S and were seeking out larger sizes in clothing to add that bit extra. I thought it was just me 😬 . White t shirt needed under the cardo or a cami or nothing with two buttons undone at bottom and top. It sounds prescriptive I know but it works.

Wide leg trousers just seem to look better currently. I agree.

I would like that outfit on you!

OP why don’t you go to a big Dunnes? They have great wide leg jeans in at the moment.

the dress is too high waisted for you. You are an hourglass shape, no need to disguise it.

also a bra that fits well for now would be a good idea. Lifted and supported boobs make such a difference.

My closest Dunnes isn't that big.

Funny tho you have commented, I was diagnosed with ADHD yesterday! I am in a bit of a spin about it,. It is combined and 'sever' I thought I was grand. They also said I have traumatic stress disorder, and that I am just on the boarder line for Autism which I must say was not on my radar at all.

Is there anywhere on here you post to chat about it?

There is a mental health board, that's where most people post re ADHD.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed

Great you have a diagnosis!

@pontipinemum There's a Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board, but there's often not a lot of traffic there. I think many neurodivergent MNers aren't aware of the board, so sometimes posts go unanswered or get few replies. That said, it's generally a very supportive place when people do respond.

Good luck with moving forward now that you have your diagnoses. It can be a very unsettling time, particularly if you weren't expecting them, but hopefully will bring increased understanding and self-knowledge in the long term. Apologies if that sounds patronising - couldn't think of a better way to word it.

Neurodivergent here, too. By the way, you're still grand, that hasn't changed :-)

@nomas @TreesAtSea thank you 🤗

Glad you liked my username!
congrats on your diagnosis. I think? I’m still coming to terms with mine. But it’s better to know and take concrete steps to address my various life disasters. Rather than bounce around in a state of confusion.

Dunnes online website is pretty good I would still stick to it. Better value eh

You've got a lot going on there OP. Take your time to process it.