Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

A good haircut and sense of personal style.

Bit sloppy or scruffy.

I consider both these words to be judgemental in a very telling way. People are allowed to dress how they want, calling something 'mumsy' or 'frumpy' betrays an insecure mindset in the person casting the judgement.

What do you personally like? What colours, shapes, fabrics? Which things make you look and feel uplifted?

Dress impractically

clothes with perfect fit - harder if you are curvy or overweight

any obvious comfort feature should be avoided

great posture - projects confidence

I dislike the terms too, but I know what you mean.

I think leggings, T-shirt, fleeces, trainers. I’m not necessarily talking about other women, but I feel frumpy when dressed like that, so I don’t

What I mean is, instead of trying to define what you want to avoid (negative) try to define what you do want to achieve (positive).

My personal style involves elements some would find “scruffy” ie undone hair, sometimes ripped jeans, never anything matchy. I also love trainers. Pretty sure I’m not mumsy or frumpy.

I think it’s more about attitude

I don't agree with this. I dress for comfort first and foremost as I cannot deal with any item that pokes, squeezes, drapes, flaps or scratches. It's not an age thing, I've always been like this.

I'm 50. Today I am wearing Levi denim dungarees, Lanx boots, a chocolate brown t-shirt and a brown and cream Adidas zip up. Lots of silver jewellery and my hair in two loose pleats.
This ensemble might not be to other people's taste and I'm certainly no fashionista but I know I don't look frumpy or mumsy. I'd have worn this outfit when I was 20. And did. It's simply what I like...and I think that's key no matter what your age and stage.

"I think it’s more about attitude."

I think there's a lot of truth in this.

Don’t wear leggings if not gym wear, and defo not with a baggy, long tee shirt, and one of those nondescript raincoat/jackets, eg from cotton traders, or similar, lol. See also ‘wolf’ fleece-type jackets, and clothes that don’t fit well and have seen better days. Instead wear things that fit well, walk tall, have a decent hair cut, maybe some lippie - be (or fake that you are) confident, and generally look like you made at least a bit of an effort.

I just watched Riot Women and the character that plays the school teacher is frumpy at the start, then gets a new hair colour, new style, wears more eye makeup and brighter clothes.

Fleeces without a hood.
Raincoat.
Trousers for work, of indeterminate length and fit.
Jersey tops in muted colours.
Frills.
Cut out shoulders
Leggings

The floral dress, trainer and jacket combo can go either way.

I tend to have a look I'm going for when I'm out and about or in work. I hate looking boring.

Age definitely has something to do with it though. In my 20s, granny chic was in and I looked amazing- as only tall, slim 20somethings can. If I wore that now, I'd actually look like someone's nan.

A baggy long tee with leggings is practically the Gen Z uniform so isn’t at all frumpy. A “wolf” fleece is also pretty fashionable at the moment.

For me, I feel “frumpy” when I wear something that isn’t for my body type and I just look a bit wrong and unfashionable, even if I’m wearing fashionable clothes - I think it’s more about dressing for your body type.

Maybe regional variations, lol? I must admit I never see the younger people round here wearing leggings with a long, baggy tee shirt. It’s all tight short ones with midriff almost (or defo) showing. I agree leggings are popular with the Gen Zs, but wasn’t really including them in my version of mumsy, as I was thinking of older people. And I don’t care what anyone says wolf fleeces are frumpsville, lol.

I really disagree with a lot of these posts. I don't think it's about any individual element necessarily, but about the styling of it. So like a Lucy and Yak fleece with longer length wide leg joggers, gold earrings and decent trainers could look fine, but the same fleece with mom jeans and Skechers and a scruffy big bag could look shit.

Lydia Tomlinson does good videos on this, she shows how not to wear clothes as well as how to wear them. Although she's more about chic and sleek style than avoiding being 'mumsy' as such.

I think hair cut, posture and shape (ie decent bra) are key.

You could put leggings and a hoody on one person with a ‘practical’ or scraggly hair cut who is over weight and round shouldered with dull skin - not a great look. But it would probably pretty good on someone toned with healthy, stylish hair and good skin and a bit of jewellery.

Sad but true.

Agree with owl!

@Purplecatshopaholic , I agree.

@HelenSkeleton , there aren't equivalent male versions, which is what makes the terms seem sexist.

There are clothes/outfits/looks that make a man look the male equivalent of mumsy and frumpy.

It's easier for me to focus on the men's look. (I'm female)

Hair that hasn't been trimmed recently.
Excess weight (usually from when his DW/DP was eating for two/beer/lack of exercise)
Ill-fitting jeans or trousers that look a bit old-fashioned or elasticated waist trousers like baggy-arsed, baggy-kneed joggers.
Leisure shoes (e.g. unbranded 'skechers') or shoes not in proportion to the physique.
Tatty fleece.
T-shirt or polo shirt with a bold logo.

Those could apply to a woman, but I'd add:
Dress or top and skirt that don't match but worn with an open cardigan, usually in a different colour.

It’s subjective imo.

Although from being on TikTok too much I’ve deciphered that you can’t win if you’re an over 30 woman.

I’ve seen plenty of videos with ‘what screams millennial mum’ and people listing what are basically looks/trends/branded items that are more popular with the over 30’s crowd as cringe or painfully millennial.

However, as a woman in my thirties, I’m sure it also wouldn’t go down well with the TikTok style police if I dressed identically to 16-year-olds. Or I just give up and buy everything from mountain Warehouse and ignore trends. Basically just existing as a 30+ woman is ‘cringe’.

@Purplecatshopaholic by Wolf Fleeces, do you mean those baggy zip up ones with howling wolves around the bottom? I remember a hilarious episode of The Apprentice years ago when they had to convince QVC viewers to buy one.

To avoid it, clothes that fit properly unless deliberately oversized, no ditsy patterns, nice haircut. My friend wears leggings a lot and looks really good-but she moves in an energetic way and has good posture. I also echo pp who said things which look good on twenty somethings can make you really look like someone’s nan.

Fleeces with wolves are sold in lots of markets so are mostly bought I'd imagine by people who shop there. I've never seen one in a shop.

In defence of the wolf fleece, I saw someone wearing them the other day. It looked new.It stopped me in my tracks.
It looked OK, but it was how he was wearing it.

There is a huge Facebook group dedicated to spotting wolf fleeces, my home town seems to feature prominently on there 😂 Tbf the wolf fleece is timeless I remember seeing people wearing them when I was small.

@shampop, North Midlands?