Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

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Certain fleeces are cool - look at Teddy style from Patagonia, Passenger, Sweaty Betty etc
These plus nice black leggings, Veja or adidas trainers is not a mumsy, frumpy look.
a mountain warehouse quarter zip and cuffed joggers on the other hand might be described differently… 🤷‍♀️

So a wolf fleece actually has a picture of a wolf on it? I’ve never seen one, but then I do live somewhere rural and a bit posh. I thought it meant something shaggy and associated it with a “wolf” haircut.

You live and learn. Frumpy is hard to define but you know it when you see it.

I sometimes look a bit mumsy but I don't mind and I am a mum, and I don't have time for anyone who looks down on mums tbh.

Having said this, these are the sorts of looks that I think are mumsy (and I do sometimes wear some of these) -

Breton stripes
Ugg boots, I know they're in with the kids, but still
Those changing robe coats, ditto
Being overweight, imo, can make one look mumsier, which I know isn't fair
Floral maxi dresses in that american home on the range kind of style

Basically a lot of stuff that's been trendy in recent years has been frumpy

There was a post not long ago from a woman looking for ankle boots. Her stipulation was "not Mumsy", yet she wanted them for taking a toddler to the park and keeping her feet warm and dry. Everything was dismissed as Mumsy.
I felt a bit sad that the term was so negative.
Why the disdain?
She was a Mum!

How to avoid looking 'mumsy' 'frumpy' or outdated - Image Consultant & Personal Stylist https://share.google/wBUCacBiMHis20Nnq

I found this.

Mismatched cheap clothing. Anything from H&M, Zara, Shein or Vinted will look exactly like how much they cost. It's very difficult to style cheap or second hand items unless you're a professional stylist or have extensive experience in fashion which, statistically, most women do not. Individually, any piece of clothing can be made to look nice and stylish but it's usually the entire outfit that fails.

This is not realistic for most people, but if you had the budget to buy designer clothes from head to toe, think £100-1000 per piece then it would be virtually impossible to look frumpy. Expensive clothes have very subtle visual differences or tailoring that are designed to make the wearer look better. Lululemon leggings paired with extremely expensive sneakers will look vastly different to Tesco leggings and outlet store Nikes.

I think mumsy and frumpy are two different things.

Frumpy is where you look like you never did or don’t now care about clothes. (And maybe that’s how you actually feel). You grab things because they fit and comfortable. You don’t style anything. You don’t follow fashion. If making an effort you go too matchy matchy. There are a million YouTube videos on avoiding looking frumpy.

‘Mumsy’ is kind of inevitable if you are a mum - having a young child with you is the giveaway accessory. Mumsy tends to be about bright colours, striped tops, lightning stripes, colourful trainers and patterned dresses for dressing up a bit. It’s a bit of a uniform but looks nice.

Nothing wrong with either and whilst I do think women get judged more harshly, there is an equivalent of both for men. As society places more and more weight on our appearances, men aren’t getting away.

What a load of shit 🤣🤣🤣

I don't agree. I find zara and h&m expensive for what they are. I also think people can look frumpy in expensive clothes, whereas you can put an outfit together from different sources and look amazing- if you know what you're looking for.

True, @Slipperfairy I've seen the Spanish and Swedish royals look fantastic in Zara and H&M. I've seen people look absolutely awful in top designer gear.

Three things strike me- things that are “twee” or “sweet” can look frumpy on me - so some floral prints and empire lines. I think this makes me look mumsy

things that are dated- most things have a seasonal update- even classics so they change each year. Too many dated items will look frumpy and unstylish. To keenaitht leggings example I saw today a woman in cropped black excessive leggings with leopard print patches ans they look dated. She was wearing them with white air max and cuddle fleece and looked frumpy

finally mis matched items. So a pair of gym trainers with jeans and a biker. Or a fleece with a skirt.

Melissa Murrell did a fab video on this on YT

I felt mummy and frumpy when I was 15st because I'd wear mostly sacks with the intent of covering as much fat as possible in non colours that didn't draw attention to myself and massive long cardigans.
Now I've lost 5 stone I have to remind myself I don't need to do that any more and I've been wearing more colour and fitted clothing although I do make the odd mistake and look like something out of the Chums catalogue 😙 Im still finding my style.

Mumsy and Frumpy?
I think they were the firm of solicitors that we used some years ago to deal with a neighbour's complaint that our garden ornament was obscene, oblivious to the fact that it was a copy of the world famous one in Brussels and the 'flow' had only turned red due to an unusal algae bloom that year.

My personal red flag is compromise clothes. When you try to find shoes or a coat that are/is practical but trying to look smart too. This always goes wrong for me. Instead if you want comfort and practicality then go the whole way and wear boots or trainers and a proper good quality weatherproof coat. If you want to look smart go for a blazer, a wool coat or a traditional Mac. If you hate wearing high heels (me) and pointy toe shoes then dont wear a small heel “comfort count shoe” as an attempt to compromise, just go fully flat and own it. You can be comfortable without being frumpy.

@KatyaKabanova ,when royal family members or high-profile people wear high street, they will have had it altered by a seamstress. That's why they get away with it.

They might be just lucky and find something that suits them without needing to be altered. I have sometimes.
Story behind Samantha Cameron's 'M&S' dress — MoneySavingExpert Forum

I wore a half-price dress from New Look to a party once, and got loads of comments about how good I looked. I was just a lucky find. I wore it several times.

Ok. I knew someone would say that about alterations
However, I've seen people in real life look good in High Street clothes. Really awful in stuff from Flannels.
So, no, cheaper doesn't necessarily mean worse.

I'm having lunch in the pub and a woman just came in. I'd put her late 60s. She's wearing an emerald green jumper, roll neck with slits up the side, fairly loose, wide leg jeans with deep hems and some black leather and suede boots like Dr Martens but " ,softer", and looks fabulous. She's quite tall and not overweight that probably helps.

It's not something I've ever worried about except when I was obese and wanting to wear things to cover up. I felt frumpy all the time.

Nowadays I find I have to shop in places aimed at slightly younger women as a lot of the clothes aimed at women aged 45+ are cover ups and I want clothes that actually fit to my shape properly.

Here's my list:

Puffer coats with no sleeves and a hood
Sliders with socks pulled up and cheap leggings,
Lucy and yak - pretty much all of it
Floral dresses with white Veja trainers or similar looking white trainers and the too small denim jacket
Beige suede gazelles with trainer socks and mom jeans/skinny jeans
Home dyed hair that's been straightened really straight and looks in bad condition.

I probably look a bit mumsy/out dated at times because I'm a middle aged mum, and I like cashmere cardigans, some bits from Hobbs that aren't particularly cutting edge style, and floral skirts, but I don't mind that look as long as the clothing is good quality and well-made. If it was a similar look in cheap fabrics from Primark/Shein, I couldn't bring myself to wear it.

This is nonsense. Obviously, everything else being equal, an expensive outfit will look better than one from Primark, but a stylish woman can look better in high street clothes than a rich woman with no style. Look at Balenciaga for example.

@cinnamonbunlover I disagree with the mismatching to an extent. Have you heard of the wrong shoe theory? It's about pairing one unexpected item with the outfit to make it more stylish. Has to be done carefully, but can be much more stylish than an outfit that all matches and looks themed or like a costume.

Hate to say it, but I think it’s often the person wearing it, rather than the item itself, that makes people think that something is mumsy or frumpy. Fashion is largely designed for the young (which is why it is often deliberately uncomfortable, impractical, or unflattering for curvier figures - to dissuade older people from wearing it). A 25 year old can pull off almost anything, but as soon as middle aged mums start wearing it, it becomes ‘mumsy’, and said 25 year old doesn’t want to wear it anymore.

I suppose poor people have no choice. They might have to wear fleeces and leggings.

Frizzy blonde coloured hair - the frizz can kill the best of highlights
Scamp & dude - all of it

I don't think leggings and fleeces are mummy anymore, depending on how you style them etc. you need sports ankle socks, a certain type of trainers, a Borg oversized fleece, not micro fleece. I feel more mumsy in jeans these days than leggings