Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

When I think mumsy I think of skinny jeans, trainer socks and probably a trainer like sketchers. If it rains they have a very practical raincoat from regatta. Their tops are long t shirts - often striped.

A little bit younger mumsy - leggings, a long t shirt or a fleece every day (I definitely fall into this category because it’s so bloody practical with toddlers and hiding the mum tum 😂 can’t stand jeans when I’m playing all day on the floor with a toddler!)

... like sketchers. If it rains they have a very practical raincoat from regatta. Their tops are long t shirts - often striped.
that's it. The coat is probably a teal blue or purply colour.

Young hipsters also wear these ironically now though. To be trendy in a wolf fleece you’d wear it over black leggings (the expensive sport kind like Nike or sweaty Betty, not primark leggings) with white sports socks pulled up over them and chunky trainers. It’s all about what you style things with!

For me mumsy and frumpy brings certain brands to mind - fatface, joules, white stuff. I don’t think anyone can look trendy in floral
jersey skater dress over leggings I’m afraid!

Dislike the dress, leggings and trainers look, never seen it look good on anyone and looks frumpy to me. Floral tops, pastel colours or anything that a 4 year old girl would also wear ( yellow wellies, dotty raincoat, dungarees, striped anything)

Yes I agree @cosieteawith your list of frumpy clothes …
Plus long floral skirts, especially if they’re gathered at the waist.
Those type of trousers that my Mum would call slacks.
Comfort shoes.
A-line long, shapeless dresses.

I think I disagree with all of these examples! Mumsy and frumpy is entirely subjective IMO.
Some people can spend fortune and still look like they haven't bothered, others can look amazing in a bin bag-
I think if you look like you have made an effort, no matter what you are wearing you will always look better.

Also sometimes people are dressing for practicality and not fashion when you see them. In the morning I shall chuck on a pair of joggers and Lucy & Yak fleece just to walk my dogs first thing in the morning.....before I get dressed properly for the day.

They had them in UO.

Dd 19 was hankering after one

Elasticated trousers in a nylon blend that will give you a free perm if you put them on.

Not everyone will agree with me, but being overweight can be very ageing, especially as you hit middle age and can start to look matronly.

I've always tried to stay trim (I walk everywhere). My style icons are Isabelle Huppert (72) and Kristin Scott Thomas (65). Both of which are older than me (I'm 58) so I'm always interested to see what they are wearing.

Personally, I felt frumpy when I put on weight, I lost my waist and had what you could only describe as a 'matronly bosom'.

As a middle aged woman, I steer well clear of 3/4 length pants, bootleg pants/jeans and low heeled boot combo, polyester printed 'floaty tops'. I'm sure others can make them work though.

No idea what a wolf fleece is and don’t use TikTok but my idea of frumpy is Caroline Quentin especially her hair style in a drama currently on Netflix.

It’s an interesting question. Some things are ubiquitously both mumsy and frumpy, the bretton top for example. The Chelsea boot. The typical mum uniform that is now frumpy. And then we have the padded jackets. The floral dresses, white trainers, denim jackets.

to avoid it stay current, but something that suits your body shape. Wide legged or gentle flare jeans or trousers, , a midi dress or skirt, in.a good material, current colours and shape, that fits , an over sized cashmere jumper, a silk sleeveless top, an oversized chiffon blouse…for colours, muted , creams beiges, taupes currently, or all one colour, ie all navy or black, a fitted leather jacket, a good one, not biker, so many things, are current, of the 40 plus age range, and should be worn to suit the body shape. And quite frankly not dressing like a teen. As we get older quality counts, and we don’t need to spend a lot of money, vinted is a god send for it.

Clothes that fit, sadly I think weight has a lot to do with it, it’s hard to dress round the middle aged spread , for both men and women, hard but far from impossible, many achieve it

and good hair. a good cut, good condition, subtle make up, good shoes in good condition.

‘Long floral skirts’

Think it depends on the wearer and how it’s worn. They are back in an ironic way.

https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/en-gb/shop/uo-contour-flock-mesh-maxi-skirt

I look terrible in all those colours.

I think there’s nothing worse than someone who wears black that drains their face.

I'm under 5 foot and a size 6 at 47. I think I look frumpy in certain type of dresses with trainers. Funnily enough, I don't think I look frumpy in clothes others may see as scruffy such as joggers or leggings and oversized sweatshirts, hiking gear. I think I look physicaly fit. Probably look like an idiot.

I don’t think any specific items can look like this.

It depends on how they are worn and how that person carries themself.

Some of the things on here are hilarious. Zara and H and M. Would a 6ft 20 year old look ‘mumsy’’ in these? I mean come on. Just like non branded trainers. Some people don’t like brands. They tend to be more stylish .

And then dungarees. These are the biggest offenders of all. Make most people look like kids tv presenters. How can anyone think these don’t look ‘mumsy or frumpy?’

And before anyone starts. I’ve got a degree and MA in Fashion, worked as a designer for 10 years then a fashion teacher.

And l don’t care one way or another about such misogynistic terms as frumpy or mumsy. Who gives a fuck? You’ve either got style or you ain’t. You can’t buy it.

And l saw a picture of Debbie Harry in Chelsea boots the other day. She looked amazing.

But also the polar opposite of this.

If it’s raining, out comes the raincoat. It’s the same raincoat for popping to the shops, going to the office and hiking up a mountain. Practical, maybe in a colour the wearer found appealing but not chosen with anything other than ‘stay dry’ in mind. And no change of accessories so the coat is saying scout camp and the handbag is out for lunch with friends.

I think some people who are labelled ‘frumpy’ don’t care, and all power to them. Others don’t have a clear idea of what they like to wear and how to put that together, so they go for what they think they ought to be wearing in any given situation and fail to recognise that there’s a bit more to it if you want to look good.

Can’t buy it but I think you can learn it? I agree though, it’s not about individual items, it’s about what you do with them,

Yeeeees, you can learn it. But the instinctive type is the most desirable.

I think you can learn how to look put together. But instinct will always have the edge. Those people can throw on a anything on here and still look cool as fuck. It’s how you pull it all together that counts. And they can have messy hair or any of the horrors mentioned on here and can still outshine someone in boring nylon black leggings.

6ft Dd has been trailing round in a long floral elastic waist skirt today with dm boots and a huge jumper. She’s got wild hair that hadn’t been cut for ages.

She looked neither ‘mumsy or frumpy’ just cool and young. Can we ban these awful words?

16 year old to present day me salutes her! Although has to be the 'right' kind of floral. Indian cotton, a thousand times yes.

There are FB groups which take the piss out of these. I didn't realise they were at all in any way considered " fashionable".

I think sadly this is where age, height, build do come into it. No of course some 6 ft 20 year old won’t look mumsy or frumpy in these things, it’s very difficult to make them look mumsy in anything, but a 40 year old over weight, 5ft 5 woman very likely could.

we may not like the fact younger women can dress in certain clothes and pull it off, or slimmer women can wear certain clothes snd pull it off, snd older or heavier women can’t, but it is simply true in many instances, not all, but many.

but the reverse is also true, we can wear things as older women or heavier women that can look fabulous. And a younger or slimmer person wouldn’t look great in. We can’t all wear the same thing and make it look the same.

an example last night I was out for dinner, I wore a beautiful sleeveless me and em midi dress, I loved the way it looked. However put the same dress on my 20 something year old daughter, and it simply wouldn’t have worked.

I love a midi dress, in a beautiful fabric that fits perfectly, but I know full well that no 6ft 20 year old is wandering round in the same clothing as it would be slightly too mature for them, different ages, different builds, we need to dress for ourselves and not proclaim well if a six foot 20 year old can make it look good, then I will look the exact same at twice her age, size and a few inches shorter. It is simply not true,

Agree, but as with many things in life, people who aren’t instinctively drawn to it underestimate the time/learning that can go into it. I’ve been interested in clothes since I was a child, pre-internet I read Vogue cover to cover every month and I used to force get my sister to test me on which outfits were by which designers. I’m not super stylish by any means but you do develop an eye for clothes and I also spend quite a lot of time online looking and learning about style, because I’m interested in what makes people look good.