Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

Exactly....I'm on the jabs too...I am dieting to lose weight. The jabs just help me to stick to it. I've now lost just over two stone and it's so nice to wear clothes you like rather than whatever is black and stretchy

It's what lies beneath. Whatever your age or size, AVOID ...

The hanky stuffed up the cardigan sleeve

The bra that does not fit (get properly fitted and buy new ones that keep the girls well wrangled)

Anything shapeless especially jumpers and coats that make you look bigger and more padded than you are. Fitted with a waist.

The sensible short haircut that is 'easier to manage' than the longer locks. That way lies the iron grey perm and the white cauliflower head.

Check posture, attitude, how you walk and carry yourself. There's an interesting line somewhere in a Master & Commander book that goes something like 'she was neither pretty nor beautiful but appeared to be both, by the magnificent way she carried her head' which conjures up some weird images but I kinda see what he means!

Stay stretchy and supple - dance & exercise so you move with ease and wear your clothes well.

• Fleeces on anyone over the age of 25 (yes your teenage daughter looks great in them, no this doesn't tell you anything useful about the effect on a 45 year old).
• Fitted quilted or padded jackets (particularly those Uniqlo ones).
• Anything that looks like the wearer thought it would be 'jolly'.
• Any patterned jersey (price almost irrelevant - this is very frumpy to my eye https://www.dvf.com/products/abigail-midi-wrap-dress-in-chain-link-medium-black).

I agree, that wrap midi dress looks very dated. They generally are very unflattering as well, I find.

I don’t think there is a list of definitive Ind and outs. For every never wear item suggested above there will be some people who look fabulous. Equally the classic must haves look terrible on people who wear the wrong colour and shape. Even, expensive well made items will drain people if they are the wrong colour.

I love people watching and study what makes people look well dressed all the time. My rule is to forget the rules and smile. Don’t worry about price or branding, but do think about colour and shape. If you want a casual look, don’t do full casual/casual unless you are doing an outdoor activity that requires practicality and comfort. Boots and a more structured coat or jacket look better with Jeans and a jumper than trainers and an anorak.

As someone who had a baby recently (and before that was in abominable maternity clothes), I am currently feeling pretty frumpy and mumsy at times!

One thing that definitely contributes is having to choose from available clothes that fit, rather than from a nice selection of outfits. Right now, sat on my sofa I don't care (and sometimes needs must so I also don't care) but I'm going out this afternoon and will definitely be choosing more carefully!

I think that hanging onto clothes that used to fit better /made you feel good in the past also contributes. While I'm looking forward to being able to wear my pre-pregnancy jeans in a month or so, I will also need to acknowledge that they may look dated and will fit differently and need different styling, even if they technically "fit".

Floral dress + denim jacket + white trainers = no for me! Feels so dated and ubiquitous

I disagree the DvF wrap dresses are inherently frumpy. They’ve been a classic since the 70s. It depends how it’s worn. Knee and maxi are kinder lengths though.

Looking frumpy is more about styling than individual items (altho Wolf fleeces should go into everyone’s bin)

There’s nothing wrong with “mumsy” as if there was anything wrong with being a mother. Mothers tend to have to wear practical clothing for dealing with small children day in day out.

Frumpy just indicates unfashionable and unstylish. To me, and this is not part of the general definition, it indicates specifically not looking sexy, and conveys disapproval that a woman is not making enough effort to make herself attractive to men.

If you are in middle age or later, merely having a big bust will be seen as mumsy, since it will be lower than it was in your younger years. It is impossible to be elegant with a very large bust.

Give yourself a break, though, you've just had a baby. Remember celebrities have nannies, chefs and housekeepers, so you're doing ok! Remember that it actually takes a year to fully physically recover from pregnancy and childbirth. Make sure that you eat well, make time to relax and don't worry about your body shape for now. Your body has done something amazing 😍.

That sounds more young and casual than scruffy, and definitely not mumsy or frumpy. Matchy dressing is the epitomy of frumpy/ mumsy and is really ageing. I avoid it like the plague.

I think both usually mean ‘badly fitting’. Aka clothes that look wrong on the body because they don’t fit so they’re too boxy at the waist, look too loose but they can also be worn out or over washed so they’re too dull and look tired.

I’m not sure what “matchy” dressing means.

Surely it’s normal for an outfit to have some kind of coordination in terms of colours? Otherwise people just look dishevelled.

I’m frumpy. I went out this morning in a Breton top, really badly fitting jeans (15+ years old and I was two stone heavier when I bought them) and a puffa that I bought for fell walking. I’m short with a big bust so look matronly, wasn’t wearing any make-up, and my hair is thin and doesn’t hold a style well.

A lot of women round here have a weekend uniform, they’re known as Sameheads because they look identical.
Sunday mornings a couple of years ago they were all wearing leggings but without visible socks, long puffa gilets or puffa coats always in black, those Marc Jacobs crossbody bags with the branding on the strap, bobble hats, Nikes. Most of them clutching a Starbucks coffee.
Something has shifted, they all got a memo to ditch the Starbucks and carry a takeaway coffee from an independent and now it’s visible socks, must be white with two black bands at the top, and pulled up over the leggings.
There’s also a splinter group formed who are wearing wide-legged trackies with the side-stripes, reminiscent of PE teachers from the early 80s.

I accept that I’m frumpy to them, I own that, but equally to me they’re not actually stylish they’re clones.

I don’t think they are stylish to anyone to be honest. Seriously.

I really don’t think mumsy is anything at all to do with making yourself attractive to men. Really not everything we discuss is about men. Mumsy is thay dated unstylish look.

Fantastic,well done.

@ThatGlimmeringSeafunny! Round these parts , there was a thing in one little urban encave for wearing a large scarf on your head. Reminscent of the Pit Brow Lasses.
Who decides this stuff I wonder?

That was my point...The models in the article were just wearing fairly ordinary looking jeans, shoes and tops. Meaning it wasnt the clothes that made them look stylish.
So Im quite happy to throw the idea out that any one item of clothing is mumsy or frumpy. Its all about how you wear it and having a personal sense of style IMO.

Im currently in a mini tartan pinafore with oversized jumper and black tights/biker boots combo. Im wearing jewellery I like and have my make up done. I dont really look like anybody else in my area (and never do!). I dont think I look frumpy but I dont look fashionable either.
TBH thats what I aspire to...a personal sense of style that is all my own.

I think it's when someone looks as if they simply don't care about how they look.

I don't mean they should be slaves to fashion. But at least get a decent hair cut, some light make up and try to look 'groomed'.

The worst offenders in my opinion are older women 50+ (often more like 60+) who wear dated jeans, fleeces, short hair cuts kind of razored up the back, and not a scrap of make up.

Sorry - I know that's very judgy but you did ask!

Absolutely this. One look I spot a lot that screams 'frumpy' to me is knee or midi length black 'workwear' dresses with some sort of pattern, worn with flat ankle boots that don't look quite right. Plus a 'practical' Mountain Warehouse waterproof. Get a smart waterproof! Or shoes/boots that look right with the dress! And not everyone suits black. I really wish more people would realise this.

I don't recognise those women.

Is this 'oop North'?

I live "oop North" @GinnBitters . Women around where I live don't dress like that, but we do tend to dress up more, ie there's less of a casual vibe. Not so many leggings and fleeces on display.

Well. That sounds a bit ageist to me. Genuinely, have you never seen younger women lacking in style?
Believe me, they exist.