Help! My face is collapsing…

[DollyPinkDaydream]

…what should I do?

lighthearted, but whilst have always taken a keen interest in my appearance I’ve been lucky enough to never really need make up (not a stunner by any means, but have reasonably good genes meaning a bit of vaseline for lip gloss and eyeliner rendered me passable). However, recent photos of me at parties have been horrifying!

i’m late forties, combination skin (but now leaning towards dry) and a runner (which I have read is terrible for making you jowl-y). Also still love a good dance and drink into the wee small hours, which doesn’t help either my skin, or my paranoia that I am starting to stand out as an old hag! Have watched a load of tik toks and you tube vids on contouring for the more mature woman and have had a bash with some sticks and powders, but it seems to makes all my lines worse.

Final point I suppose is that I am pretty time poor so don’t have hours every morning to put on a full face of slap…I really need a slick 10-15 minutes routine tops if possible!

Not averse to a spot of chemical enhancement, but would prefer not to if possibly. What can I do to help my look as young as I still feel? All advice and product recommendations welcomed please 🙏

I've always loved makeup and wear it everyday - but personally I've started wearing less, not more, as I get older as I think make-up ages you. You can add a lip gloss/colour and eye makeup but I think anything that settles into wrinkles will age you, and it's much better to keep it light as you get older. At least that's what I've found

Personally I'd go for good skincare (SPF, retinol, vitamin c) and a good hair cut and colour (I think longer hair is more youthful - maybe some subtle extensions?). I've never tried it but subtle Botox seems to look good on most people too

I don't bother with makeup, and have been slack with sunscreen. In a vague bid to make up (geddit?!) for both, I recently ordered some of this, and it's really nice. It does seem to give a sort of radiant glow, at the risk of sounding like a wanker.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CNQ11ZYH?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_1&th=1

We need the laugh reaction just for this reply! Made me chuckle 🤣

No because those jammy fuckers get to just grow beards and hide the problem!

Ha yes I have a fat face. Even at my smallest I still have chubby cheek. I spent my childhood asking my mother how do you get cheekbones. The tables have turned now and I’m quite liking the
fat face 😂😂

I have a chubby face but also the jowls hanging down, it is more than a little annoying.

My advice is: do what you can, and then forget about it.

It's a shame to waste 40 years or whatever agonising over yourself ageing. I think it's honestly worse around mid-late forties as you still think you are about 32 and are upset when the mirror says otherwise. I've found now I'm mid-fifties I care much less, I just think- do I look reasonable for my age, answer yes, and feel far less worried about it, and don't compare myself to lovely young things at all which is probably just as well.

In terms of practical things, I do think if you were a bit sparse about moisturising, you need to get with the programme. I don't do more than a face wash, gel moisturiser and then some light make-up every day, but being well-moisturised over my whole body really helps. Lots on the neck and chest area. I use Feel collagen, switch between that and other brands, think it helps. Not drinking or drinking just a little is an enormous game-changer for looks, the friends I have who still drink a lot have coarser, redder and puffy skin and one of my colleagues de-aged by about 10 years by stopping drinking and losing a few kg a little while ago, it was astonishing.

I don't want to go down the Botox or filler or face lift route myself, I don't like the way it looks when people are talking, it looks great in photos though and I do think whatever you have to do to get through is just fine. I have a couple of friends who have done very minor tweaks and they've come out well. It's the ability to stop after those that seems to be key to keeping it natural and nice looking, but then I'm able to tolerate wrinkles and saggy bits, I want to have a mobile face that moves nicely as that's part of my job and I don't want to look slightly 'odd' (and yes, I do have unfortunately seen several people who look a little 'odd', the lip filler is really a bad idea, but also stretched/taut or shiny faces).

I'd also say that the basics go a long way- so decent sleep several days a week, lots of water, protein and veggies before carbs and make sure you are not anaemic or have HRT/support if you are approaching the menopause.

I honestly don't think all the powders and contours will help that much, they just look dusty and settle in wrinkles. Fix your lifestyle (so you can still party some of the time) and smile a lot and enjoy life and that will look much better IMO.

We're all ticking time bombs.

We have to accept our organs (and skin's the biggest one) don't function as well as time goes on.

So we realise we have to change our behaviour as our old habits send in the bills.

Stop partying late, improve sleep hygiene, drop the booze levels, up the water intake. Don't sunbathe, and wear sunscreen all year round.

Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise. A nurse told me patients who use body lotions and oils heal faster and better post-surgery than those who don't.

I've had to change how I eat after a series of gut problems I NEVER had when I was younger.

It's harder to keep everything up, especially as oestrogen and collagen levels drop. I'm considering face yoga.

Also, cultivate your voice.

Every day I see exquisite young sixth form girls at the local cafe. They are stunning.

Then they open their mouths - shrieking, saying 'like' every other word, creaky vocal fry, going up at the end of the sentence - it's all fashion, and it's grating.

Use your voice as an instrument, learn how to capture and keep attention, how to listen, be entertaining and amusing.

Sounds weird, but you'd be amazed the effect I can still get in my sixties by using that wisdom and skill.

currently on offer

Makeup - yes, I've moved away from the foundation, powder, contour etc I used to play with - I do think it highlights wrinkles and sags, rather than conceal and flatter.

Instead I'm now more likely to put over moisturiser and sunscreen:

Tinted moisturiser, if that

Lipstick - no gloss, no matte, just satiny moisturising lippie and dab a little over cheekbones

Eyeshadow - very seldom use powder shadow now and don't do the complicated contour, highlight, smoky effects I used to do, I prefer cream and crayon sticks and push up pencils.

Avoid harsh black eyeliner and black mascara - Brownish black waterproof mascara is now my go-to.

Brows - don't pluck other than rogue hairs. I like Maybelline Build a Brow.

Concealer - a little light coloured cream concealer on inner corners of eyes and top of cheekbones and skintone for the odd blemish.

I do colour my hair and use shedloads of conditioner.

And teeth whitening paste.

Thanks for the tips. I am literally noting everything down - even the conflicting bits. Not sure how I will implement it all, but I will try!

To answer questions - diet I would say is good. I did Zoe for a year and also IF and really only eat whole food, little UPF and no red meat (for around 30 years’. I think that has helped alot with my clear skin and no need for make up historically but the aesthetic impact of it seems to be diminishing (obviously not going to change though because of the health benefits).

Skincare - I use Clarins (for about 10 years) moisturiser morning and night, but do like the isea of having a pot everywhere - I do that with handcreams and lip balm so I will extend my practice and bung aface one in handbags and the glove compartments and desk.

Running is good for your knees. Runners have denser, younger cartelidge (and denser, yiounger bones) than none runners and fewer knee problems with aging. I think the theory is that microtrauma caused by running promotes regeneration and repair - basically similar science to micro needling, Hifu and radio frequency treatments, which all rely on stimulating the body’s own repair mechanisms

Almost 51, seem to be holding back the tide (so far!). No treatments just well thought out skincare - the things that seem to work to firm my skin are vitamin c in the mornings and peptides at night.

Ageing faces are disappearing from TV and media. Not in general society though. It makes us think ageing is bad. It’s not but I guess we don’t have to like it.

I'm coming to terms with it. I moisturise twice a day, wear nice minimal makeup and have a good short hair cut. I wear fashionable but classic clothes. I look, I think, like a trendy older woman and that’s as much as I can hope for. No face lifts here.

i was inspired my a fashion lecturer I met. She had a short grey bob, chunky glasses and red lip. Always wore converse which gave her clothes an edge. Must have been 65 and looked great. I wasn’t looking at her wrinkles because her overall look was so put together.

Runner's Face is the weight loss making some people more gaunt. But if you can show some credible report that running causes jowls I'd be interested.

I use the Ekin-Su radiant glow skin perfecter. It’s really good and cheap! I’ve also stopped wearing black mascara and use plum as I have blue eyes.

Aldi have great make up and skin care dupes. Maybe you should update your moisturiser? Depends which one you use.

I have had Botox in my forehead and for my crows feet and that does make a different. Also having a decent hair cut and colour. I’ve realised that self care is important.

Yes. You are getting older, as we all do - if we are lucky. You do look older. The bad news is, you will continue to look even older. Concentrate on how you feel, do some exercise, get healthy, have fun, enjoy life. Stop focusing on trivialities and look at the big picture. When you have the misfortune to look in a mirror or see a photo, be resilient and pragmatic, remember that this is life, and that it really is not important compared to your health, wealth, friends etc. Or go down a rabbit hole of worrying about your ever decreasing looks and how to cover this up. it's up to you.

This really made me laugh and cheered me up this morning! Me too, oh dear

No but you can bet they would be discussing how to hide their receding hairline.

Botox is good but fillers are not for everyone.
https://www.boots.com/the-ordinary-aha-30-bha-2-peeling-solution-10267772?traffic=paid.shopping&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21096115648&gbraid=0AAAAA-AdmwQbq0Ge5BvXcdlALKTrRV2fC&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIx5z9qNGWkAMV6qNQBh0SoR9tEAQYASABEgKeUvD_BwE This is good weekly - aha peel. Gets rid of dull skin.
Get your teeth whitened

following, I'm 47 and also a runner (no chance of stopping) but unlike you dont have good genes in this department .I remember well getting into trouble for telling my mother - probably aged about 42 at the time - that I thought she looked really old!

I have recently started to take collagen daily - too soon to know for sure but I'd say encouraging signs.

Curious what your job is that makes you angry a lot 🙈sorry it did tickle me a bit!

I'm having great results with personalised (by photo) support and a prescribed cream from Dermatica. Contact is easy with photos uploaded so that the dermatologist can check on progress. My skin is clear and tighter.

I only use a basic cleanser and moisturiser around that and a 50 SPF.

I follow some of the threads on here, including using the discount code.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5160597-has-anyone-tried-dermatica

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5335725-dermatica-advice

Low units of Botox will make alot of difference. Not sure why loads of people think it makes you look frozen. Micro needling is also a good facial