Impossible work wear rules

[HereKittyKitty6]

New role and dress code is conflicting! No low necks, no open toes, smart enough to work in council offices but also ‘relaxed’ enough to meet with homeless folk (some on street so plenty of walking). Have been told I look too expensive (?!). My style is quite classic and I struggle with non natural / soft fabrics.
Im pear shaped 10 (have recently developed the love handles so I do seem to look strangely curvy not nice curvy now!), petite 5ft 2, and shoes without a strap just fall off!
So far I have wide legged jersey trousers in navy, black paper bag tapered trousers, and a light cream cashmere cardigan. It’s cold/hot I’m really struggling here! Thinking of budget high street maybe? Please help!

Autograph isn’t cashmere, diamonds and expensive leather bags though is it? That’s exactly the type of thing that’s been suggested to OP

Ours does, and even a men’s shirt and tie 😂. Not that I’d much want to wear it, it’s probably as old as the office itself!

Honestly, those saying homeless people don’t care how you’re dressed have never worked with homeless people. They, in general, want to feel like you understand them and swanning around in diamonds and cashmere does not give that outward message. I’ve never seen anyone in diamonds or cashmere in my office or amongst the many professionals I work with.

Any trousers will be fine with smart trainers, DMs, converse etc and a basic, well fitted but not revealing t-shirt, jumper and/ or cardigan. It’s really that simple!

Well ... it depends. It depends on the individual shopper. Vwry honestly, most of the Autograph items in my wardrobe are cashmere - and then merino, linen and silk. But there is more of a range. It is really good stuff, that's for sure, so it is a good choice. H&M just happens to be fairly similar in some ways - especially dresses - and cheaper.

Sounds like a standard dress code to me, it’s not formal shirt and suit. Smart causal so black/navy/grey plain trousers, a plain or patterned top or blouse, and cardigan / parker for visits. Maybe jersey blazer for meetings in office. Ankle or shoe boots more approachable and walkable than Mary Jane’s

M&S have loads of cotton boat necks atm! Tempted to stock up!.

I have in the last few years felt the need to wear v necks. Round necks make me feel hemmed in and set off flushing. Nothing to do with cleavage flashing. If I buy a round neck like a hoodie I just end up taking them off in a panic.
Probably nothing to do with this thread .

But OP ditch the diamonds and cashmere as so many have said.
I have found Kipling rucksacks really practical I don't think they ooze wealth.

Working in social care with homeless people and rocking up with a pale blue antique leather satchel, cashmere cardi, diamond earrings and necklace is a bit tone deaf, OP!

TBH I am more impressed someone can wear cahsnere in May and not boil to death. I have a few cashmere jumpers that I only wear in deep winter and never to the office. Cahsmere is very warm

Maybe consider some eco brands they tend to be natural fabrics but casual.

Definitely ditch diamonds and cashmere. Try Pact - it's all organic cotton and linen so nice classic fabrics that I imagine will appeal to you, but very simple styles. I'd go simple round neck t shirt with paper bag or floaty crepe trousers for summer, wide leg styles are more available and popular at the moment and they can look lovely and relaxed/casual but not as dressed down as jeans. Have attached an image for you....

Is it really such a big ask? I agree, if you're working with people who have no homes it doesn't look great to be wearing expensive clothes and jewellery. TU At Sainsbury's do a lot of understated, classic, smart clothes- just plan black trousers and a long or short sleeved button up blouse would look good. If you're not allowed trainers then some black canvas pumps maybe?

I would go to work in a Mao suit and for accessory string a Xiaohongshu English Version aroud my neck.

@Darla62 , do you have a link for a stockist please?

How is it difficult? Just get some stuff from a supermarket or Matalan. Cashmere? Really?

I work in an environment where we have to be fairly covered up, modest, not showy or made up but not casual. It’s not hard.

Wide legged linen trousers in browns and navy. Classic t shirts or linen shirts in neutral colours. Trainers style shoes in non trainer colours and fabrics. Lose the jewellery, you would be gutted if you lost it. Maybe keep a blazer at work for meetings to give you confidence. Shirts over t shirts or vests with a sharp collar or pin stripes. Dark indigo jeans with a smart top. If your trousers are long and wide cut no one will notice your footwear. Things need to be easily washable.
Have outfits that can be adapted.for meetings and then dressed down for being hands on. Think of it as a uniform. Most people who wear their own clothes to work have a self imposed uniform. If you want the job you will do it.
I love jewellery and big earrings but not for work.
Good luck

There is no such thing as “smart jersey trousers” or even “nice jersey trousers”.
why can’t this lady have some self respect in how she dresses? It’s not missing the mark, it is being professional, with standards and pride in herself and her work.

@TMMC1 But she's not being "professional " if she is flaunting diamonds and cashmere in the faces of homeless people.

thank you, you saved me saying it.

Keep the wedding band obviously, but don’t wear the necklace and earrings to work - that alone will make a big difference.

Change to a darker bag, maybe a navy backpack. Flat lace up shoes or closed toe sandals.

T shirt with the trousers or keep jeans to change into if permitted.

Navy cardigan instead of cream. What about wool or cotton instead of cashmere? Still natural fibres but less luxe.

M&S has lots of natural fabrics and strikes a good balance.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-merino-wool-crew-neck-cardigan/p/clp60648658?color=NAVY

When she's inadvertently stepped in a combined toileting and using area of a park because that's near where the homeless people she's seeing are, or has to retreat rather sharpish from the far end of a public carpark thats accessed by a very isolated alleyway, she'll be glad of a pair of sensible shoes and an unobtrusive/inexpensive bag instead of strappy sandals, diamonds and gold.

Homelessness isn't just the occasional woman that's been served a section 21 because she complained the bathroom needed updating, sitting nicely in a safe meeting room, it can involve dealing with people dealing with addiction, severe mental illness and violence in absolutely squalid conditions. DP did it for 12 years and would never have gone out looking like he would be worth robbing or unable to bug out at speed.

This sounds the same as when I was at a refugee charity. There were a bit obsessed with being able to escape violent clients. I took it with a pinch of salt.
This is an oppressive professional/service user dynamic which I'm not sure apparel really breaks down very much.

think I’ve quoted the wrong person here, sorry

It might not remove the power imbalance but trust me being suited and booted, dressed like you are loaded can 100% reinforce it. And if you are hoping to have a good working relationship with people, engage and be approachable to some of the most at risk members of society, then you do what you can to remove as many barriers as possible and to make people feel comfortable.

It also makes her a target to be wearing expensive jewellery. And it’s just inappropriate.

And I also wouldn’t take the threat to your safety with a pinch of salt. Professionals like OP are often approaching complete unknowns and there’s been plenty of examples of professionals being attacked

I used to have similar probs... As i may be in court /formal meetings... Or need to be on floor with small kids or in the most poverty stricken neighbourhoods where often I'd need to beat a swift escape.

Never found the perfect way of doing it... Most of my colleagues had more predictable days....i didn't.

In the end I just kept spare clothes at work to change into quickly... So could go from major casual /dress down to formal business wear in about 5 mins... I also kept an alternate bag..

When I was out 'in the field', a posh bag/satchel would draw wrong kind of attention/be stolen!

Also would absolutely wear trainers if you're doing work with homeless folk in streets... I found fabric trainers were easy to shove in washing machine when getting grim fluids on them!