What would you wear to a black tie dinner as a 47 year old not-slim woman?

[OlgaFjeldso]

DH and I are invited to a posh evening do, drinks then black tie sit-down dinner.

I will have to buy something new to wear. It’s in May so weather could be hot or cold.

I don’t like floor length dresses, would prefer knee length or just below (but perhaps not formal enough??)
I don’t like high necks.
Prefer something a bit structured or fitted, but I am quite curvy.
Have shoulders and upper arms like a scrum half, so might be better covering those up to attempt elegance - maybe a dress with sleeves or some sort of jacket/shrug/bolero over a sleeveless dress.

Don’t want to spend loads for the sake of it, but on the other hand I hardly ever buy new clothes, and I’d like to look nice.

Any help would be appreciated.

Just below knee could be fine....so what's your budget, what size are you, what colours do you like, what do you think are your best bits and apart from your arms (which are probably perfectly fine) what do you think are your best bits and don't mind showing?

What size? Budget? Colour? If you can't find a sleeved dress, you could get a sequinned type bolero with 3/4 sleeves.

Scarlet and Jo have lots of dresses with sleeves that cover the upper arms. They cater for larger sizes, but actually start from size 10. https://www.scarlettandjo.com/

https://www.johnlewis.com/adrianna-papell-bead-fluter-sleeve-dress-olive/p112373146

https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-gracie-satin-pleated-midi-wrap-dress-dark-green/p112773714

https://www.johnlewis.com/adrianna-papell-beaded-mesh-midi-dress-light-navy/p112209060

Roman is really hit and miss but has a section on black tie dresses and something like this would work for the industry I work in: www.roman.co.uk/embellsihed-twist-waist-midi-dress-14204108

I would also be looking at the event website for photos of earlier years to get a feel for style.

I have found Finery very flattering and they have knee length options and covered arms

I meant to add that starting with good underwear can make a massive difference to the overall look. M&S have good for supportive shapewear which can smooth things out.

How about a DJ style outfit yourself if you're not very cocktail frock? You will feel very over dressed if you wear long for black tie.

I would wear a jump suit. I bloody love em. I have one from simply be, la redoutte and trespass for nice. M and s linen ones for casual and a jersey one for travelling.

Budget I think £200 is the absolute max for a dress as I will likely need shoes too.
Size 16.
I don’t mind showing my neck, legs, cleavage a little (in a tasteful, understated way), just upper arms I don’t like really.
Colour I was thinking navy, but I am open on that.

I think the John Lewis dresses linked above are a bit more light and wafty than I was thinking of.
I’ve never worn a jumpsuit. Maybe I should try. I feel like my body is too long and I won’t carry it off.

Someone else mentioned Finery. I'm a 16 and their dresses are lovely on me. True to size and flattering. Or try a look at mutha.hood perhaps? Nicely made. Or Whistles? Might be worth a look on Vinted too.

And is that true that I’d be overdressed in a long dress? I thought black tie was floor length?

https://muthahoodgoods.com/collections/womenswear/products/winnie-leopard-satin-tea-dress?variant=49673151283520 this is lovely

This? https://www.freemans.com/products/heine-evening-dress/_/A-H07601_14?utm_medium=PLA&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=GS%20-%20Womens%20-%20Dresses%20-%20%5BPMax%5D%20-%20%5BPLA%5D&ns_mchannel=PLA&ns_source=google&ns_campaign=GS%20-%20Womens%20-%20Dresses%20-%20%5BPMax%5D%20-%20%5BPLA%5D&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYquhn1WvsCpPttp9cYyA9BDzQqCxq13wbXu5lhZbTrkU-7SL2g0iwYaAn-fEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

My dsd had a beautiful dress from ever pretty, just below knee, flutter sleeves, comes in many colours, and very flattering in size 22

I'm not sure why someone suggested that wearing a full dress to a black tie event would be overdressed! That IS what black tie means 😕
Some sites even mention ball gown and full length gloves if wearing a sleeveless dress. It does depends on the event, but black tie is a little more flexible than white tie. Essentially, wear someone you feel comfortable in, even if not full length. Do you know anyone else going to the event to shop with/ask?

This one also might be too floaty https://www.monsoon.co.uk/ellie-sheer-sleeve-plunge-tulle-maxi-dress-blue-1000394336.html?utm_content=nonbrand&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYrO8_irOZMAhL213gzFA39eIf9v3tA1gQJ4ufyAFJK227Mi-3ixDpEaAiHjEALw_wcB

This might to TOO structured and mother of the bride?www.hobbs.com/product/christie-silk-wool-jacket/0123-4235-3093L00-ROYAL-BLUE.html?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=21815925086&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21815925086&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYqRCrwmsVzo6C8s3uczd_yzZw9LITQ_NjKDyGT297Fg8MpVxEBHbX0aAkDuEALw_wcB

https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/shimmering-long-sleeve-v-neck-chiffon-twist-knot-a-line-evening-dress-ee01977?variant=45271254630587&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAAC1MV3f3knkxshQWm0vUmmNOybsJx&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYqACEC-eI3h9uf4STQRyLB7LExWRCnEMzsbj77fQUz1NNLT5P7aFyQaAix9EALww_wcB

https://www.silkfred.com/womens/clothing/dresses/mini-dresses/bella-and-blue/sequin-plunge-maxi-dress-in-navy?locale=en-GB&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAADlt5sShB5ScurY0HUAh2LDD5WLaw&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYqKjZKKacpnmBo6lq4LsQeH0GovkbXcG29xhvx4DrUsUCsxJLWAChQaAvqAEALwwcB

I have this (also a 16) and have worn it for a similar event. It's very flattering, and good to eat a meal comfortably in!

I wore super high heels for black tie, but have also worn with flats for a wedding. It's super handy.

https://www.debenhams.com/product/blue-vanilla-wrap-front-pleated-maxi-dressp-c7f10676-af3d-492d-b823-03bb193056e4?colour=Navy&size=S%2FM&istCompanyId=76f7277d-6e78-4dc2-aaff-1eb77fae16b0&istFeedId=258a4886-8f3c-47ef-9369-d1eda8d84501&istItemId=larlllqtq&istBid=t&gclsrc=aw.ds&gaddsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAABevdS6niW7A99jydSl4LSqmGYozY&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxvTfouzfiwMVu4pQBh1nShlrEAQYBCABEgIIFfDBwE

I’d wear silky black wide leg trousers with a lovely bright halterneck silky top and heels. You’ll probably find all of these in Vinted! Me and Em has a lovely halterneck top in the latest brochure.

I quite like the Freemans and the Monsoon ones.
I think it’s just hard to imagine them on me.
Maybe I need to go to some shops and try things on. I can take Dc along who will give honest feedback.
I do know a few other people going to the event, but not really well enough to go shopping with them.

In a similar situation before Christmas I went to Phase Eight, where they flung dresses at me until I found three uhhh one I loved. It would have been within your budget if I hadn’t bought all three.

Similar age and size to you, and they could not have been more helpful.

Your budget is really good, but I would still go on vinted, and scroll through to see if there is anything you fancy in the formal dress section that is new with or new without labels . I'd go one size up though. Loads of people buy dresses for an occasion, that for whatever reason do not suit them at the time and then offload them, unworn, to vinted for a fraction of the cost. You can specify all sorts (I quite like dresses with chiffon sleeves for example as have "bingo wings"). I generally only buy from sellers with good ratings. Obviously with Vinted, you cannot try before you buy, but I have bought loads from there, and I would say 95% of the time I have been delighted, and they have suited me more than had I walked into a shop and tried something on. I mention the one size up thing because I have had a couple of items that have been tight, the label says a 16, but actually I think they are more for a 14, or certainly not a curvy 16. Some people like the shopping experience, in which case, it might not be for you. Some good advice on here about "how formal is black tie" Good luck whatever you choose x

@Doggymummar any chance of a link to your jersey jumpsuit for travelling ?

Black tie can be any length really. Black tie is not ball gown unless it is a ball. Works awards type black tie held midweek are less dressed up than purely social black tie.

Not keen any of the suggestions except the Muthahood dress, but it's not black tie.

For a £200 budget I'd go to Sister Jane.

Sister Jane 1
Sister Jane 2
Sister Jane 3
Sister Jane 4
Sister Jane 5
Sister Jane 6

I like the idea of Phase 8 and a helpful shop assistant! Maybe I will try that at the weekend.

You definitely won't be over-dressed if you go long. White tie is definitely long ballgowns. Black tie is more flexible. Long or short cocktail dress is fine. As someone mentioned a jumpsuit or wide legged trousers and sparkly top would look good too. You can jujj it up with hells and some statement jewellery. Phase Eight has some great jumpsuits that would suit. John Lewis always has a good selection of evening dresses (long and short). I've also done 1950s swing style dresses with the full net underskirt and always get compliments. Looks a little different to the standard look too. Hope you find something you love.