What would you wear to a black tie dinner as a 47 year old not-slim woman?

[OlgaFjeldso]

DH and I are invited to a posh evening do, drinks then black tie sit-down dinner.

I will have to buy something new to wear. It’s in May so weather could be hot or cold.

I don’t like floor length dresses, would prefer knee length or just below (but perhaps not formal enough??)
I don’t like high necks.
Prefer something a bit structured or fitted, but I am quite curvy.
Have shoulders and upper arms like a scrum half, so might be better covering those up to attempt elegance - maybe a dress with sleeves or some sort of jacket/shrug/bolero over a sleeveless dress.

Don’t want to spend loads for the sake of it, but on the other hand I hardly ever buy new clothes, and I’d like to look nice.

Any help would be appreciated.

Did you miss the bit about the OP wanting to conceal her broad shoulders and upper arms?

I love a jumpsuit as an alternative for black tie events.

No I didn’t but thank you for checking in such a kind and friendly manner!

A halterneck is very flattering for broad shoulders and this flattering line will distract from the upper arms.

She's specifically requested sleeves, ffs, and not just once. Not a great look, ignoring very clear needs.

Well yes I was replying to you because that’s how the reply system on mumsnet works. You mentioned ‘proper floor length ball skirt circa 1999’ which is why I assumed, apologies - what did you mean by this if not a ball gown?

I do think knee length, ironically, can be very 90s. Midi and longer creates a more modern look imo.

Er yes, but if you'd read what I wrote I said " I very, very rarely wear floor length to black tie unless it's a ball."

So what is your "how strange" comment applying to since the rest of your post agreed with what I'd said was the norm? I.e not full length

Thanks for your further reply, but why the added aggression and need to swear at me?

This forum is a chance to open our minds and consider ideas put forward by others that we may not have thought of before. I know I’ve learned many things that I wouldn’t have considered before here.
It’s not an opportunity for lazy trolling to try to berate and demean other posters.

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/amily-sequin-maxi-dress-221801413.html?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=21857123700&cq_net=g&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21857123700&utm_content=168150863725&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAt4C-BhBcEiwA8Kp0CfTFxwhdZONcSgfiqUdLMmfX3dUG8HpqjLZqEZYdRY4xqhxl24tGhBoCr2EQAvD_BwE

I was also going to suggest Scarlett and Jo, absolutely love their dresses!
I like the floor length ones for formal occasions, but they do nice shorter ones too. Lovely structure, chest support and flattering around the tummy, waist and bum. And a great range of sizes - designed for curvy ladies, but actually start at size 10.

I use Roman Originals for my formal dresses for formal nights on cruises. True to size and reasonably priced.

I would recommend booking a session at John Lewis with one of their personal stylists. I hate trying to shop for a special occasion and usually end up grumpy and surrounded by parcels to return or traipsing around the shops for hours on end. Last summer I went to JL and saw one of their stylists. She checked my style preferences and budget then brought me lots of options to try ; some of which I would never have picked off the rails - the outfit I chose was a jumpsuit which I absolutely love! It was perfect for the wedding and I did wear it for a formal dinner too with different accessories.
There’s no obligation to buy any of it and you can try with shoes, jackets & bags for style. And before anyone asks-no I’m not on commission! 😂

I find Ghost dresses, extremely flattering, look elegant and feel great on (make me look a size smaller in photos!) but might need to size up. These are within budget, colour and arm coverage:

Blue full length

My personal favourite style to wear is this one, my height is 5,5 and the dress is significantly longer on me than it appears on the model, just above ankle 😅

Emerald long sleeve

I love that they are so versatile and can be worn on different occasions, plus easily changed with different accessories.

I hate buying for an event and then not finding opportunities to be able to wear again.

Kylie Tux Jumpsuit | Phase Eight UK |

I haven't tried Phase Eight but I need to buy something nice , and I am coveting this ...
Wedding Anniversary (mine) I want to look stylish but not "Look at me , look at ME "

My best mate wore a black velvet jumpsuit With a lace top with killer heels and a gorgeous necklace to our friends 40th black tie, she looked stunning :)

Not the flashiest but from
Your body description this may work.

I have one and they are roomy up top for shoulders and boobs etc!

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/dresses/curves-mink-satin-pleated-wrap-midi-dress/p/896460323?extcam=UKPPCCPLADesignerrGoogleDVVmAGIDD126584460476PRIDD8964626&cclid=GoogleeEAIaIQobChMI6NDKzvrkiwMVlouDBx2yCzsBEAQYAyABEgJfPDDBwE&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD2UatOmbBHKZwTbUni0mNVITRtL9&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6NDKzvrkiwMVlouDBx2yCzsBEAQYAyABEgJffPD_BwE

How flexible is your budget?
I'd treat myself, go to Self Portrait, spend £400 on something utterly fabulous, then sell it for £250 afterwards 😉.
You never know, you might get lucky with someone selling on, on vinted.

Failing that, I've found some nice things from Joanna Hope.

https://uk.saintandsofia.com/products/paloma-ruched-midaxi-dress-ditsy-leopard?variant=41010604441703

I've had my eye on this dress for ages - but I've no where to wear it. It is super lovely though. And will work outside of a black tie event too.
They have a shop in Convent Garden I think.

Love this!

I have a Phase Eight jumpsuit which I absolutely love. It’s so comfortable but also flattering.

this is nice and could work for lots of occasions

Make sure you have decent underwear because it makes a huge difference to your shape.

White tie is floor length, black tie is cocktail length, so ideal if you don’t fancy anything long! What about a gorgeous top and smart cut pair of trousers? Silk shirt and some lovely cigarette pants and a sequin jacket/some nice jewellery etc

Some of the comments have made me laugh they really have.

My friend similar shape has this dress (although the maxi version) and looks beautiful in it, it's very structured at the chest and arms and gives her a lovely shape.

https://www.scarlettandjo.com/products/helena-velvet-green-midi-dress?variant=48056752079156

Scarlett and Jo have a clearance section and I have just had an advert pop up and their dresses look lovely. I recommend Vinted and eBay .

I never go to black tie events ( sob) but I quite like some of the latest Me+Em evening stuff.
Whoever mentioned a ball skirt, that’s a cracking idea actually. I love a big voluminous full length satin skirt, paired with maybe a very fitted vintage Vivienne Westwood style square neck top.
Westwood always did such wonderful structured cocktail stuff.
And I think for black tie you gotta go long.