What would you wear to a black tie dinner as a 47 year old not-slim woman?

[OlgaFjeldso]

DH and I are invited to a posh evening do, drinks then black tie sit-down dinner.

I will have to buy something new to wear. It’s in May so weather could be hot or cold.

I don’t like floor length dresses, would prefer knee length or just below (but perhaps not formal enough??)
I don’t like high necks.
Prefer something a bit structured or fitted, but I am quite curvy.
Have shoulders and upper arms like a scrum half, so might be better covering those up to attempt elegance - maybe a dress with sleeves or some sort of jacket/shrug/bolero over a sleeveless dress.

Don’t want to spend loads for the sake of it, but on the other hand I hardly ever buy new clothes, and I’d like to look nice.

Any help would be appreciated.

Op, I’m not sure if someone has already suggested this but I have this and it’s very flattering
https://www.hobbs.com/product/alexis-dress/0224-5566-9845L00-BLACK.html?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=21006000611&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21006000611&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADC5o-J4xp0dXOjtNHV2nGNnuCjCP

you can also get floor length versions

I love these so much

Thanks again for all the suggestions. The Godiva site has a few in the shape think I would prefer - long fitted sleeves, square neckline, but I just don’t like the fabrics, too bright or glitzy.
I think the Scarlett and Jo dresses look quite nice in the pictures, definite possibility.

I popped into town after work yesterday to have a look round the shops in person.
I couldn’t find anything in John Lewis I liked enough to even try on, which was a bit disappointing
Then I went to Hobbs, I think it was and the staff were absolutely lovely, but I felt all the dresses were a bit garden party rather than evening wear.
I just sneaked into Phase 8 as they were closing, was actually really drawn to several of the jump suits, but again I think they are better garden party or christening wear than evening.
I looked at two dresses I had seen and liked online, but there wasn’t time to try them on, and they both seemed to have an odd wrap tie front, which I really don’t like, so not sure they are for me after all.

What about Vinted OP I have a Goddiva dress with long sleeves that isn't glitzy they just don't have them this season.
I've got loads I've been watching this is a bargain
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5667247533-goddiva-fishtail-evening-dress-16

Love this colour https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5301097782-cerise-occasion-dress

Tbh ‘47 and not slim’ must be the quintessential female demographic for black tie evening wear - so I would think the difficulty would be the overwhelming amount of options available.

I put in Black tie event on Vinted and ebay and lots of dresses are shown at very reasonable prices. They only take a few days to arrive .I got a lovely top for a 70th birthday party I was invited to.

Hi OP, something more like this?

square neck chiffon long sleeves

Agree J. Lewis (edited to take out the automatic hyperlink) would be a waste of time because they choose not to stock much evening wear these days in store - full selection is on line but I think slim pickings at the moment due to time of year.

Hobbs is very wedding-y but especially at the moment, because of the season and lighter colours. Their clothes are well made.

That is pretty but that split up the leg and too low neckline is not suitable for a black tie dinner.

It’s perfectly suitable.

i always go low cut, distracts from my belly

Years ago I loved jumpsuits but due to having to get out of them to use the loo I do not wear them nowadays.

This is advice from ‘Vogue’, OP.
https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/black-tie-dress-code
It does say long is usually best so I was wrong earlier in the thread.

Yes that is a downside !

I have seen some jumpsuits that are stretchy so easier to wriggle out of .
But the Phase Eight one I like has a zip at the back which I'd need to dislocate myself to undo .

Those lovely romantic scenes where the suave man helps his wife by zipping up her dress........the scene where I;m cursing and swearing in a small toilet trying to recompose myself kind of stamps on that

If you scroll down the neckline looks quite demure on the plus size model. Plus there are some photos of ‘real’ people wearing the dress at weddings etc.

The first picture is just very stylised and presumably she is a wearing a push up type bra.

I bit the bullet and ordered two dresses, which have now come - one has ideal long lacy sleeves but I’m not sure about the neckline or the shape.

The other is actually sleeveless and is more blue than navy, but I think I prefer it overall because of the shape, and it’s more comfortable, and the rest of the family definitely prefer it, so I am going to trust their opinion and just try and find some sort of wrap or scarf to drape artlessly over my shoulders.
(I know someone up Thread said no to wraps, but I think I would prefer to have one).

https://scampanddude.com/products/gold-with-silver-sequin-cropped-jacket

Maybe something like this, or similar from another company in lace etc?

Agree with PP a wrap isn’t great to wear throughout a black tie event, will make the overall look dated as well as annoy you with the constant rearranging!

I ordered this one ( it was a choice between this or the Tuxedo one and I thought this looked more 'fancy' )
The Phase Eight in J.Lewis and the shop were going onto their Spring /Summer range so no glitzy wear .

Thanks for this link minipie

Another shout out to Roman. I have this dress https://www.roman.co.uk/sweetheart-lace-neck-midi-dress-14315908
I am usually a size 14 but I bought this in a size 18 which is a better fit and still looks classy. Coming out for my third black tie do in a week or so!

on one occasion I wore it with a bolero top

I wondered if you had to cover your shoulders at a formal dinner.

Having been in this position, I would recommend black trousers, a tuxedo style jacket with a cream/or brightly coloured silk vest top. Smart and slimming!

I have a lovely black knee length dress with 3/4 length sleeves with an a line shape, I'm a size 18 with chubby arms. I wore it on a black tie night on a cruise and felt very comfy but dressy, I hate long dresses so it was perfect, I bought it from Yours.

For years going to Black tight dinners I always wore a dinner suit the same as the guys with a bowtie and high heels loved it

YES! This, I was at a black tie event yesterday and a lady had the most stunning dress on, it was the right size for her and you could see it could looked amazing but her choice of undergarments was disastrous, underwear indentations at her thigh waist and her bra lines, giving her back boobs and double boobs popping out front. Been there and am guilty of all this too!

I don't think everyone needs to wear spanx and feel like they can't breather, sit, eat, drink or be in fear of going to the toilet and not being able to put everything back into their under garments but clean lines with other supportive shapewear is out there.

I’d also thought of a glitzy bolero, and wonder would a 1920s style beaded gauzy thing add a quiet elegance? this sort of style but vintage
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/283677372382

Brand alley have lots of dressy but not too dressy clothes at reduced prices, might be worth checking there.
https://www.brandalley.co.uk/women/clothing/dresses-jumpsuits.html