What's it like to be beautiful?

[ThisFluentBiscuit]

I was watching a film last night, and I guess I haven't watched one in a while, because I was struck anew by how good-looking all the actors and actresses were.

Which set me thinking: I wonder what it's like to be really good-looking. To wake up each day and just look good. To have gorgeous face staring back at you in the mirror. What's it like? Do you always or mostly feel good and happy? What are the pros and cons?

Speak up if you're gorgeous. Don't be shy! Enquiring minds want to know what it's like to go through life as a stunning person. Am curious.

We are all beautiful in our own way op.
We just have to love our selfs more and be happy with what we see in the mirror.
I tell my self im stunning or when im getting ready for the the day very loudly say to my self oh someones looking fabulous.
I look like a right cow with resting wrinkled bitch face but if i dont like me then how can others like me with that attitude.
Love you self more and you will shine.
When your done loving you let others love upon you.
I need a restraining order against my self.
Some days i fear i may get men pregnant with how good look.😂

@OpheliaWasntMad

Yes men can suffer from other men's jealousy over looks and height too but it can manifest itself in a more physical sense such as damaging a car , physical intimidation or damaging possessions.

I also watched a pint size bloke drive two tall good looking young men out of the workplace. I watched a vile female manager manage out a string of petite slim very attractive women . I would say both of these people could not stand others having something they did not possess and never could as it was something they could not acquire or take away from the people they drove out .

@BunnyLake

Thank you I have but my parents put this down to luck . I'm at peace now as I slowly realised can't change them or the past and I'm not a bad person I know that now .

As for ballerina's its posture . They carry themselves very well .

I do think it’s important how you come across when you are objectively good looking. I was a ‘head turner’ especially in my 20s and 30s (and 40s but I had young children then). I had a lot of compliments and attention from people but it was women as well as men, I got a lot of compliments from women. I never suffered nastiness from women (except one woman in my 20s who made it clear she wasn’t interested in being friendly) and I think it’s because I was a very friendly, affable person. I made friends easily and always got on well with my co-worker peers, a number of whom I stayed friends with long after leaving the workplace.

I like you 😊

I'm now 60 and menopause played havoc with both my weight and my looks. However...until I hit around 45, I was what was described as a 'classic beauty'. Long blond hair, very green eyes, high cheekbones and great skin (very fair, almost translucent!) I was never skinny, but hovered between a 12-14 most of my adult life (now a fat sized 16 😨)

I was constantly harassed by men but didn't have many true women friends (even though I tried very hard). I'm an introvert and hated the attention of men, but felt really sad that women didn't appear to like me much (for no reason...even on first meeting I could sense their hostility).

This became worse when I got divorced and even the few female friends I had started to distance themselves. My lifelong best friend told me that our 'female circle' were feeling insecure now that I was 'back on the market' and thought their husbands were at risk from my feminine wiles 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ NOTHING was further from my mind than cracking on to some middle aged married man!!!

At 60 I am largely invisible, still very happily single, and not tempted by someone else's husband 👌🏻

Lots of people are pretty/attractive - youth is often a draw all by itself. I am quite pretty according to the world I live in but the OP question was about beauty. I have genuinely only known 1 beautiful woman in real life - pretty privilege is common (free drinks and men helping with things as often mentioned) but she didn’t get that. She was so extraordinary that the world didn’t quite function right for her. Beauty worked against her in so many ways - relationships were entirely transactional and people just could not get their head around the fact that she had exactly the same needs/wants/emotions as ‘normal’ people. She was resented and worshipped in equal measure and it was horrible to watch to be honest. She was really lonely I think.

I would not want the unwanted attention.

Sounds like beauty is a really mixed bag! I'm a bit 😱 at the responses. Maybe the sweet spot is being a little above average!

There's a 1921 poem by W. B Yeats, A Prayer for my Daughter, which says:

May she be granted beauty and yet not
Beauty to make a stranger's eye distraught,
Or hers before a looking-glass, for such,
Being made beautiful overmuch,
Consider beauty a sufficient end,
Lose natural kindness and maybe
The heart-revealing intimacy
That chooses right, and never find a friend.

The poem returns to the theme of brains versus beauty numerous times. Full version in the link below. Interesting that people were pondering beauty and what it meant long before social media and filters, and even things like modern makeup with its countless shades that we have today.

poets.org/poem/prayer-my-daughter

I think a lot of so called beauty is in fact smoke and mirrors. The way you carry yourself , how you dress and accessorise, and good grooming, nails , hair , teeth , eyebrows and well applied makeup add to the overall impression and can elevate people from plain to pretty . Hair is very important. Your hair can make or break you .

People have also mentioned hostility from other women in their posts . The most common denominator is that the women hated on have been described as very slim . Weight and body shape is a huge trigger with women, more so than good looks which are very controllable . I was hated on in my younger days not because I was anything special to look at , it was because I was tall and slim . I had one bitch where I worked actually write down what I was having for lunch each day and questioned me about my eating habits . When I had my first child this woman was outraged that I got my figure back . She also told me my husband would leave me the moment I put on weight . ( I have he's still here 40 years later 😂 )

If a woman is young , slim and has long hair , she is instantly attractive to most men .

I feel like it must be a double edged sword for pretty women (when they are younger).
On the one hand they probably get alot of unwanted attention and maybe jealousy from other women.
On the other hand they probably dont even realiese how much positive attention they get as well (try getting the attention of a waiter/shop assistant if you are plain! Ive literally had to send a prettier friend into places on my behalf to get things done!).
Also I imagine its much more jarring when you are ageing! If you dont have much looks to lose then its less of a bother when the wrinkles show up.

Ive always been plain/ugly so really dont understand it all!😁
Although TBH Im thinner, fitter and better looking in my 50s then I ever was when younger. I make an effort with clothes and make up and Im confident about my appearance, doesnt matter what anybody else thinks!

I think a lot of so called beauty is in fact smoke and mirrors. The way you carry yourself , how you dress and accessorise, and good grooming, nails , hair , teeth , eyebrows and well applied makeup add to the overall impression and can elevate people from plain to pretty . Hair is very important. Your hair can make or break you.

I think this is true for some women - I don't want to make this about specific famous women but there are many where you look at photos of them before they became rich and famous and they look nice but you would walk past them on the street without a second glance

But there are some women who really are born with it

Love this

@henlake7

When I was working in retail if I wanted something from the warehouse to come down straight away I used to get the young pretty sales assistants to ring up and ask for it .
I knew that the now fat middle aged me would either be fobbed off or would wait ages if I politely rang the warehouse for the items . 😂

Maybe. But some people, like my daughter, goes out in joggers, no make up, hair in a pony tail and she still gets hassled.

I do get what you mean though. Figure has a lot to do with it.

I'm reasonably attractive and have been told many times that I am beautiful.

However I don't feel that I am and I am incredibly unphotogenic. I do not look beautiful in photos at all.

At 42, I can pass for 25. But I will always feel like I'm a bit ugly and flawed, possibly because of the focus on my appearance.

I never thought I was beautiful but when I look at photos of when I was younger I realise I was actually quite hot! Wish I'd enjoyed it at the time!

Life is easier if you are beautiful/attractive, no question. Far more opportunities and advantages down to the quality of man you marry. How many plain women do you know who are married to attractive, successful men? There may be negatives but none I would see that in anyway would outweigh the positives. I’ve been both .. blossomed in my early 20’s and honestly it was like the world was my oyster 🤷‍♀️

Besieged by men, from the age of fourteen onwards. Most people think you 're stupid. Aggressively targeted by trophy hunter type men means it can be hard to find true love. Staring - people stare. It is a rare woman indeed who can set aside envy and truly be your friend. It can be hard to find people who clap enthusiastically when you win. Getting older is less of a tragedy and more of a blessed relief. It is genuinely hard to see your own beauty in a mirror. Feel obliged to self denigrate to be liked and accepted by others.

We went to a restaurant once when my daughter was about 15. The boy bringing the drinks over on a tray looked at her - and dropped the entire tray!!

Really?

Yes, I think there's a lot in this.

It's easy to make assumptions about other people's happiness based on their looks, jobs, money, intelligence...

But I have known so many people who appear successful but are really struggling inside. Sometimes, it's a shock when you find out because you realise that you've made so many (incorrect) assumptions about them.

Yes. Are you suggesting I'm making it up?

It's a cross I have to bear. @ThisFluentBiscuit . Fortunately, I am humble, modest, wise and a genius too.

I don't know (scrub up ok but am not beautiful 😅) but from outside observation, I don't think anyone finds themselves beautiful or sees themselves as others see them - what you see in the mirror is about how you feel about yourself.

I think on balance it's probably better not to be beautiful as it would be a complicating factor in life.