What's it like to be beautiful?

[ThisFluentBiscuit]

I was watching a film last night, and I guess I haven't watched one in a while, because I was struck anew by how good-looking all the actors and actresses were.

Which set me thinking: I wonder what it's like to be really good-looking. To wake up each day and just look good. To have gorgeous face staring back at you in the mirror. What's it like? Do you always or mostly feel good and happy? What are the pros and cons?

Speak up if you're gorgeous. Don't be shy! Enquiring minds want to know what it's like to go through life as a stunning person. Am curious.

I used to be very attractive when I was younger. I only started to lose my looks in my fifties. It was pretty normal for me to have compliments from strangers in the street (men and women), work colleagues etc never had animosity from other women, except one friend of a friend who didn’t like me (even though I hadn’t actually done anything). I wasn't cutesy pretty but it all seemed to come together in an attractive way. It was mostly nice and I wasn’t above milking it a bit at times. I did assume I’d stay age appropriately attractive but I haven’t. A combination of some very stressful times and a number of major surgeries meant I neglected how I looked. I don’t mind though (except when I see a photo of me then I’m eew what happened to you! Or when I want to buy clothes, I look awful in anything now, just lumpy, bumpy and dumpy (I’ve lost height). It was nice at the time though, I’m glad I was attractive for a few decades.

I am a middle aged woman and continue to be told I’m beautiful, I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, I have had it all my life but have never shared my compliments to my friend ship group when I was younger or even now. I used to get a lot of hassle and I felt much more comfortable when I was out with a bf then a female friends at the time. I haven’t gone down the road of Botox or anything in my later years as love to see laughter lines.

Hey, Samantha Brick! 👏

It’s a burden, but I struggle on…

Beauty is so subjective. The majority of us would probably say that Charlize Theron or Margot Robbie are absolutely stunningly beautiful, but there will be people who just don't see it.

I've always been satisfied when I've looked in the mirror and seen my reflection. I've also been absolutely horrified when I've seen myself on some photos.

My DH has always been a very handsome bloke to me, but I'm sure others would find no attraction at all.

I don't think I've ever been aesthetically beautiful, but I know I've been good looking.

Pros - I was noticed a lot when I was younger.

Cons - ageing

You forgot to mention ‘modest’.

I don’t want to come across as suggesting that the people who are replying are not actually beautiful but I would like to point out that being beeped at, ogled at and harassed by men when a teenager is a pretty universal experience. Men are disgusting and there’s definitely a pattern of the wolf whistling and the honking stopping once you no longer pass as a teenager. I was a chubby/fat teenager and experienced a lot of what people who are beautiful experienced as teenagers.

I was ( often told) very striking when young, probably still attractive until late fifties. I was clever too (double first at Oxbridge). I would say that clever is much better than beautiful, because it lasts longer, and is more interesting to the possessor.. I have derived far more pleasure from learning and thinking about all sorts of things than from looking at myself in a mirror, or being admired and desired by men. I suppose it has been useful, but not especially gratifying.

DH is probably more beautiful than me, his looks were commented on by virtually everyone after they met him for the first time. He was regularly approached by model agency scouts. I think it was more problematic for him than for a woman, other men tended not to take him too seriously at first (though he is smart) and he was hassled by men who fancied him which he found quite unpleasant.

now we are old and a lot less stunning we can still enjoy each other’s thoughts!

I’ll go. I wouldn’t say I was beautiful but I’d say I was conventionally “pretty”. Age 14 - 25 received a lot of male attention etc. Sometimes very scary - was both assaulted and stalked :(

Being attractive was still mostly good - as a PP said, it helped with my shyness. Now I’m older, I’m less shy but very aware of my vanishing looks and fading into invisibility 🤣 I have got a bit more bold with my fashion choices though.

So, at times it was nice to feel “pretty”. But it was a poisoned chalice at times and makes aging a little hard to take.

@Namechangean I agree with you

It's not what it's cracked up to be. As a younger woman, I was looked at but rarely seen. If you have a modicum of intelligence alongside conventionally accepted good looks then this is treated by others as somehow being greedy or unfair.

I'm old and fat now, but not entirely invisible...yet. The relief at not being hassled by men is the real bonus of ageing although I will say that I think weight plays a larger part in whether you're viewed as a trophy.

I want to add to this.

I noticed DD being lasciviously eyed up by much older men when she was really young.... I'm talking 9/10/11
She was tall as a kid (and even taller now!) But had a very babyish face.

You know that age/stage when they're getting adult teeth, but their face needs to catch up?
She was eyed up then.

I've read threads on mn before which suggests that's not uncommon.
But it's not really been mentioned on this thread

I can relate to this. Described in detail MH struggles to my GP after a series of traumatic events and the first thing she said was “but you look great!”.

My mum was a catalog model, I was a Beauty princess/queen (the shame) and my daughters are stunningly beautiful.

While it feels big headed to say we are beautiful I'm not daft. I no longer wear makeup and hide away in jogging bottoms. My children's father kept me locked away for years, he made me feel ugly and hurt me numerous times. He always thought I was going to run away with another man.

My dad tore up my mums portfolio when they got married and had kids. When I tell you my mum was gorgeous!

My daughters will not suffer like my mum and I, I will make sure of that no matter what.

I do think that's probably more of a figure than a face thing. I have always had a LOT of hassle from men (wolf whistling etc) and I'm pretty average looking face-wise, but I have always had a curvy size 10/12 figure. Even now, if I wear anything mildly provocative, I get comments from men. DD, I would say, has had less of this, because, although she looks like a super model, she is very, very slim, so perhaps less for the average man on the street to ogle.

Yes and beauty is purely subjective...

Oh and to add. You often get bullied by other women, called names and made out to be a slag.

To me, beauty fades. It's what's on the inside that counts. Also what one person finds beautiful, another doesn't.

Agree with this - I think if it’s bone structure/eyes rather than a hot body it can last. My mother was extremely beautiful into her 50s to the point that people I barely knew would randomly mention it to me in work settings (we worked in the same professional industry, not together).

I TOTALLY get this.

I'm not especially pretty, but as a child/teen and into my twenties, I was VERY thin. Just naturally.
REALLY thin.... Could see all my ribs, wrist bones sticking out, etc. But I'm also a pear, so a size 12 because of wide hips, big bum.
At 21 I was 5'8", not pretty. 7 1/2 stone. So VERY thin. No tits. 34" across my back, but a 30A cup
Men and boys who fancied me, were almost fetishists "you're very slim, aren't you" "you've got a little waist" etc.
My thin-ness was what they fancied.
When my metabolism + natural exercise (got a car!) changed and I put a bit of weight on around a year later, I got a lot more male attention, but it wasn't specific. Just car horns honking/wolf whistling type attention
Looking back, and at the time, I felt valued for being super skinny. That made me a prize.
None of them.... the fetishy ones or the general group later were interested in me or who I was.
It was all about my body
And it was never a great body!!!!!

I could have written that.

Dare I say without sounding like a big headed twat, that I was beautiful when younger but the toxic attention from some men and the jealousy from some women was no fun at all.

I'm not ugly now. I have very good skin and hair, I still dress well but now I'm older and and I'm bigger. I no longer get harassed or cat called by men or suffer from women being jealous, hence spiteful and I'm very happy with that.

Beauty is subjective so some people would say I’m beautiful and I’m sure others don’t think so but my experience is:
men are lovely so much so I didn’t realise sexism was an issue until my 30s (how embarrassing)
women don’t like you being friends with their partner
lots of free things/can get away with a lot
stopped in the street/bars/resturants a lot by men etc
being stared at/sometimes pictures taken very rarely but sometimes grabbed (this may just be down to being a woman)

it can be annoying but can also be flattering depends on how the attention is given.

I was beautiful as a young woman - less so now I am an overweight middle aged woman
.
There were some negative things like being followed around by creepy men. Taxi drivers often used to chat me up/give me their numbers. If I was ever early to meet a friend at the pub, I would take a walk around the block to avoid waiting there alone and being creeped on

But I also unconsciously got used to being treated nicely

So for example - I used to take a particular coach service. I took it usually on my own but once with a friend - she went to put her bag in the storage,.and I was like "what? The driver gets out and does that for you" and she laughed and said "no, he does that for you because you are beautiful" I had somehow completely failed to notice this before..

Similarly, whenever I took a train, several men would jump up and offer to put my bags up

Just generally - and I think this was often from women as well as men, I was always treated really nicely by people

Blimey, OP.
I "look very good", probably because I never had kids or financial worries (I get my money from commercial and domestic lettings and inheritance).
I'm 46 and unfortunately don't see any of it.
I see fine, thin hair and spotty skin for almost all my adulthood.
I think most ladies unfortunately focus on the flaws and these flaws overshadow the way we feel about ourselves.
😐

My sister is absolutely beautiful and I'm not jealous of her one bit because she is my sister and I love her to bits oh and she also doesn't think she is better than any of her 3 sisters who are pretty average lol (I'm one of them) if she swanned about with your attitude then I'm sure I would find her ugly despite her appearance.
Your sisters are probably not jealous of you btw lol they probably cringe when you go on about how you are the best at everything and the prettiest haha nowt like self awareness is there

I'm not beautiful and don't crave to be. I do however, think.that there must be benefits to this re opportunity etc. I appreciate that there will be creeps who hassle you and there might be some people who judge you simply based on the way u look. I have felt beautiful. I'm not unhappy with myself. I.dont dislike myself.