Grey hair wobble

[DreamloverTealover]

It's almost two years since I've dyed my hair. It was always a test to see if dyeing damage is why it's not growing well. The condition is definitely better than it was but not smooth like I'd hoped.

My daughter has said she doesn't like it. She is 7 so I'm not going to run and buy dye ASAP. However I've been having a wobble anyway so really stuck on what to do. My sister is a hairdresser and says some people are wanting to go grey early now and says my natural colour is lovely. My husband says I look great whatever colour is but I don't know if this is just because he's a nice guy 😂

I've been wearing some vintage style trousers and tops recently and feel like it doesn't work with grey hair and that's saddened me too. Should I be trying to wear modern styles to outweigh the grey hair.

I know it's my own decision but wondering anyway in late thirties in same boat?

I started going grey at 19, I’m now 42, do I look older than that? Honestly, maybe, but I’d argue that’s more about the lines on my face rather than the colour of my hair. For me deciding to stop dying (almost 5 years ago now) was about releasing myself from the sadness and disappointment I would feel mere days after a fresh dye job and seeing the white coming through again already. At least the look I have now appears deliberate rather than ‘oh she can’t be bothered to dye her hair and take care of herself’. If I am honest I do sometimes wonder about starting to dye again but I know I would hate that hamster wheel again very quickly. I always get the nicest compliments about the colour of my hair and aye maybe it’s friends and family blowing smoke up my arse but I also do rather embarrassingly get stopped whilst out and about by strangers which seems odd if it’s just to lie to me 😂

It's not always about that IME. I'm in my late 50s and truthfully don't have any negative feelings towards older people or the concept of ageing. In some ways I really enjoy being the age I am. But there's a symbolism to looking older. It can signal new beginnings, but also endings. Sometimes people aren't ready to see themselves looking older in the mirror because they simply aren't ready yet for that switch to the next phase.

Your hair really suits you! And I wouldn't have put you at 42 either.

You look amazing. I started going grey at 17 and at 40 I still have a lot of brown underneath, I wish I had an all over great colour like you!

Your hair is amazing!

I have just been chatting to a friend who actually does look a lot younger than her age. Many women who think they look young have conversations in a way that others respond “ oh you look really young” when actually they don’t. My friend says no onee comments on her age, I think that is because there is no need to, she does not raise her age and strangers presume she is 15/20 years younger.
She has natural grey/silver hair. She takes collagen, eats food from a wide variety of sources to ensure she has all essential nutrients. Is very active, her body is toned and she has very few lines of wrinkles. She said people do tell her she must have “ good genes” but the rest of her family look very different, she puts it down to the exercise, diet and fresh air.
She then made me laugh as she said “ it really does not matter how I look though as in my head I am 26. I don’t look in the mirror and I run quickly past my husband if he has his glasses on, he thinks I look fab’. I laugh a lot which distracts anyone else from scrutinising my face”

@GreyHairdontcare1982 I'm pretty sure there are people who would spend a lot of money to get hair like that! :)

Does it make you look older? I don't know. I think we're all primed to think of grey/white hair as being older but it only takes 1 second of looking at your face to think, no, you don't. And whether you were 60 or 20, your hair looks fab so... great job!

I personally think white hair is more attractive than grey... but then my BFF has gone grey and made it quite metallic and it looks amazing so [shrug]

There's a running joke that you'll look older when you've grown your dye out as you will be several years older.

I imagine by looking older posters mean more tired, less healthy, washed out. I certainly don't want to look 20 again - I don't. I thought I looked worse with dyed hair that was fading as my hair was then very silver underneath with very grey roots. It looked good for a week or so and then didn't. My natural colour looks better against my skin.

@JillMW your friend sounds fab! I do a lot of similar things and it gives me hope - though I do them as an investment in my health.

Yes I can relate to that

I look at pictures where my hair looked lovely with its colour but then quickly the roots would come through

You hair is lovely

I hate the ageist, sexist rubbish spouted on threads about grey hair - it looks like you've let yourself go, ages you 20 years, you should do it when you're 70... What absolute arse, and so rude on a thread where people are talking about having grey hair.

FWIW I'm 51 and stopped colouring my hair about four years ago. My hair is very dark brown, and I have pure white streaks at each side, and random strands coming through overall. I didn't have "roots" as such so stopping the dye wasn't an issue, no "stripe". My hair is in a sharp Mary Quant type bob with a blunt fringe, and I have it cut every four weeks. I frequently have randoms come up and tell me it looks good and ask where I get it done.

Do I look older since stopping colouring? Maybe, but I expect I look older because I am older - I'm 51. I think dyed hair on older women can actually look ageing unless it is very skilfully done and looks really natural.

Totally agree with some PPs that we're conditioned to think of grey hair as ageing because so many people cover it up for so long. What threads like this reveal (there's been a few recently) is that its totally normal to start going grey in your 20s and 30s.
What we do about the grey (if anything) is up to us, but it would be nice to see more positivity about choosing not to dye. Instead of sniping comments about how nobody looks good with grey hair, they look washed out and ancient. You're talking about people's natural colour. I agree with the poster above, its so rude.

The OP asked for people's opinions though. And these are their actual truthful opinions. What are we supposed to do? Lie?

Just dyed mine after leaving it for over 3 months which I haven't done for years. Grey at roots and temples must say I looked awful and its took 5 years off at least now I've put a colour on.

@SantasLargerHelper my mum always used to say “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing”. I think there are ways to say things kindly and share an opinion. Someone up thread said they would wear a wig rather than go grey which seemed extremely rude and unnecessary!

In real life absolutely which is why I would never tell people to their face I think their hair looks terrible, aging etc.

But on here surely we can be truthful when OP is seeking truthful opinions.

My mother in law got lighter grey highlights which looked good. She waited until she had more grey as it was a very dark brown mix with grey.

I have around 20% grey at a push and I'm early 40's I'm not planning on embracing the grey yet. I feel it would wash me out as I have dark brown hair. When I'm more grey I'll rethink this. My older sister has gone grey with a few blond highlights to break it up.

There are ways of voicing an opinion without resorting to what's effectively body-shaming though (this is not directed specifically at you, but you did ask!).
Sweeping generalisations designed to have everyone running for the box dye aren't very helpful anyway, because dye isn't the right solution for everyone.

I’m of the opinion that no-one should say stuff online if they wouldn’t be comfortable saying it to someone’s face, regardless of context - but that’s just me. Some of the posts on this thread aren’t just sharing honest opinions, they are being really horrible!

I think there just isn't a one size fits all, do this = look older. Lots of factors affect how people look and how we perceive them, not just hair colour.

I did try to go blonde before stopping dyeing, my original colour was very dark brown. It really didn't feel like me and was part of the reason for stopping dyeing. My hair is so much healthier now and I regularly get positive comments on the colour.

I think it might help if you had a shorter hair cut. From your photos it looks a bit lank and something choppier might help.

I think it’s very brave to go grey, especially when you’re only in your 30s.

But how long will that last?

My natural colour is dirty blonde. Over the past 45 years I’ve dyed my hair every shade of blonde there is, from platinum, to golden, strawberry to beige and back again. I can’t imagine not being blonde. On the few occasions I’ve tried to grow it out, the grey roots look awful, not a pretty soft shade, just flat and harsh grey. If the grey was nice, I’d bite the bullet and have a pixie cut, which I’ve had a few times, always light blonde though. Then I’d grow the dye out. This isn’t really an option though because my natural grey is horrible. I don’t want to dye grey hair to a different grey shade, so I’m going to hang on to my ash blonde bob for a bit longer.

When I’ve discussed this with my hair dresser he’s agreed that my natural grey is awful. The positive is that colour takes so much better to my hair now, that it never looks brassy, so I don’t have to use the touch of silver stuff anymore. Both my grandmothers had soft pretty pearl grey hair, but I obviously didn’t inherit it!

The good thing is that hair grows, and we can always choose different colours if we’re unhappy, so it’s all fixable.

Exactly. Apparently I’ve let myself go even though I could have a fatal reaction if I attempted to dye it again.

@GreyHairdontcare1982

You look great.

My hair started to turn white in place when I was 13 years old and started using hair colour when I was 16 or so as a result. My hair went completely pure white ( not even grey...) by the time I was 30.

I am really pale and the full on the albino/Casper look is a too much for me, so I am now colouring with hair with light ash blond and I am happy with that.

The good thing about having completely white hair I suppose is that no bleaching is needed...