Toasties - the countdown to Christmas

[Countmeout]

Just getting a thread ready.

I absolutely love the Kaia cardigans and have them in Verbena, Harissa and Oatmeal. I've got my eye on the other colours too! I'm a high street 10, 34B/C and have the small. I nearly got the medium last time, for a less 'neat' fit, but I prefer the neat fit over dresses particularly. I have worn the Verbena sooo much- it seems to go with everything. I prefer the v-neck to the round neck version, as when the round neck is not done up to the top, the edges flop down almost like a collar. I'd like to stiffen the neck if I could.

Thanks @OrangeyLemon, that's really helpful. Could you fit a light, slim fitting sweater under the small? Or would that need a medium?

A couple of other questions @OrangeyLemon. Is there any space in the chest at all in the small, or is it quite tightly fitted on you? And it would be really helpful to know the length, I find even short cardigans can be quite long on me and I'd really like a short one.

I wouldn't say it was tight. I'm wondering about the slim fitting sweater- I think you probably could. I wear the lia t-shirts underneath quite a lot, and a thicker striped long sleeve t too (sorry I can't remember what the name of it is) but I haven't worn them over what I would call a sweater. The length falls at the top of my hip, which feels just right.

Well, my re-ordered white shirt has still to be dispatched, but it will be going back when it arrives (I did call and ask if they could cancel it but no luck). Today I found a much better option when shopping for my sister’s Christmas gift in Dicks in Edinburgh (don’t worry, folks who have been there and seen the prices, only for a hat she had her eye on!). It is this one, from Japanese brand Ichi Antiquites.
shop-lin.com/?pid=183195168
It’s a lovely brand for anyone not familiar, but the one weirdness is everything is one size, so not everything works (I tried on some trousers which were comically massive). It’s lighter weight than the Toast shirt but wide and swingy and with lovely gathers at the neck, and a perfect collar!

@Netcam it slunds like you are a size smaller than me and I think I could fit a thin sweater under my Kaia in a medium. I like the neatness for over dresses too, and I would say it also hits at top hip, it’s a good length for over dresses.
Also agree with @OrangeyLemon about the v-neck, I think it is much more versatile.

@ScottishMouse - that shirt is lovely, and I can see it has your name written all over it! I like the black one very much on the Dick's website

I was very tempted to buy the black too @faustina!

Shirt looks lovely @ScottishMouse . How does the one size fits all work?

I have no idea @Countmeout! Pot luck? Everything is quite oversized and Japanese so I guess you could wear things very oversized or less oversized depending on what size/shape you are. But like I say, it doesn’t always work, the trousers I tried were ridiculously big, and I am not teeny tiny.

Here’s a question folks (a lomg pondering one)…..how do you make good decisions when shopping so you don’t end up returning? I hate returning (the hassle, the environmental cost if online, feeling bad about it if in store, etc etc). Toast don’t make it easy, what with their unpredictable sizing (and bad collars 😆), but more generally, I seem to have also become very bad at making good choices on what looks good on me/suits/fits well etc. I think this has come with menopause and related body shape changes and not quite knowing what works now/still wanting to dress for the shape I used to be (and possibly a related general dip in self-confidence).
I am asking because I have just tried on the shirt I bought earlier, and realised that it is a bit too sheer (I am not someone who can be arsed having different underwear for different tops, there is no good underwear for a busty menopausal woman that should be in any way visible anyway imo), and that it is not flattering on me from the back. So I will need to return it, which I am feeling guilty and embarrassed about.
I could blame it on the lighting in the changing room, but I think I had an inkling even then that it might not be as perfect as I wanted it to be.
What is going on here, and how do I get better at making decisions when trying on? I have always been an indecisive person, but it feels like I have got so much worse.

@ScottishMouse A quick answer, based on a combination on self-reflection and writing eBay listings over the years - don't daydream! Or rather, if we do, which I certainly do, try and catch the fantasy of what I'm imaging my life will be when I wear x or y garment, and then be sure to subtract that from the actual purchasing decision :)

I used to write a great eBay blurb, but realised buyers were getting seduced by the pretty words, not reading the factual details properly, then finding fault/leaving negative feedback/finding ways to inveigle a refund etc. Now I'm strictly matter of fact information - fewer, slower, probably lower value sales (no auctions for the same reason), but fewer hassles too.

Try and restore humdrum reality. How does it look from all angles, lights, with different outfits? How does it fit as I move in it? Do the measurements correlate with similar items that fit well? What are the care instructions? Do I need it, when am I going to wear it, and so on? I never manage to keep everything in sight, but it's easier, for me, when I'm not subconsciously dressing an alter ego adventuring through a parallel life to mine :D

Don't know if that helps at all!

ps. Note those eBay sales are things I'm not wearing, for a variety of reasons. Managing to return for refund before that point is a step ahead of me :)

Thanks @Stravaig that does help, and I think that is sometimes the issue, although I think I am buying for a body I don’t have (or no longer have) rather than a lifestyle I don’t have.
Very interesting what you say about your eBay sales. As an eBay buyer I want cold hard facts, measurements, fabric content etc, and I think pretty words just make me suspicious that the seller is covering up a less than great condition item.

@ScottishMouse I do that with summer clothes especially (lots less experience buying) - I still gravitate to things which would suit my teen/twenties body, but don't work at all in my mid-fifties. Winter woolies are so much more forgiving of a changing body!

Agree @Stravaig, I absolutely hate summer clothes shopping.

@ScottishMouse - sorry it’s not worked out - don’t be so hard on yourself! Remember that a lot of shops do weird things with their lighting/mirror glass, so it’s quite usual for things to look different at home!

I have started taking pictures of myself in changing rooms from as many angles as possible, and that has helped a bit.

If it makes you feel any better, I will be returning a coat this week, (one I bought to replace the one EvilDog ate last NYE), as I tried it on again today and realised I looked like I was wearing a padded bin bag.

As this was not the look I was going for, it’s going back 🙀

Ah sorry about the coat return @IlovePond. It’s so disappointing when you realise that something you thought was great actually isn’t. I think I am finding it so hard to dress this new body of mine that I am too eager to pounce on something I think works only to be more discerning in the cold light of day/my own mirror.

@Stravaig that's some good advice about questioning purchases. I know I love something (like sturdy TOAST denim dresses) when I've worn it all day and I still feel good in it.

Thanks @ScottishMouse - I suppose it’s a bit of money saved!

My current solution to clothing myself is to wear a Xmas jumper every day in December as I have industrial quantities. (We are talking tasteless Xmas jumpers here, not Toast/Icelandic/Fairisle chic, btw 😹)

Today I am rocking one of my reindeer ones, complete with real bells on the antlers. Tomorrow I am torn between ‘Fleece Navidad’ or ‘Meowy Christmas’. (I am getting some funny looks at work - especially after yesterday’s sequinned and antlered Christmas cat jumper - but I just don’t care!)

At least you have Christmas jumpers, I realised I don't even own one. The night before our work Christmas lunch last week we were told 'don't forget to wear a Christmas jumper'. I've only been there since March so was unaware of the tradition. I felt a bit left out!

So I'm hoping to get one for next year in the sales. I have my eye on a beautiful wool fairisle one but it needs to be reduced as it's very expensive!

Unlike you I have no Christmas jumper but am building up industrial quantities of nice wool jumpers. I really don't know where I'll put another one!

@ScottishMouse - there's no need to feel bad about returning - in fact you should be patting yourself on the back for not keeping something that's just not right. Personally I can't make that judgement until it's in my house - I hate buying from actual shops these days because I feel pressured and hot and it seems like much more of a gamble when you're in an unfamiliar place with different lighting etc. I still do make mistakes, but I think far fewer than before.

I don't have any Christmas jumpers either @netcam. Could you not just string a bit of tinsel round your neck instead and wear it with one of your beautiful new ones? As a professional elf @IlovePond 😂 it's obviously a whole different kettle of mince pies for you!

Yes @faustina , exactly this. Hot and bothered and pressured. This even happens to me in a Toast store. I often try something there but then order online so I can make sure in the comfort of my own home. It’s not a great way to shop, but it’s definitely better for me. I should remember this and think twice about buying in an actual shop.
I do need to become less indecisive though. There have been times I have ordered online, tried on at home, returned, only to order the same thing again some weeks or months later because I am still thinking about it and unsure why I returned it. Now that is not good shopping etiquette.

@Netcam Most recent email from Community Clothing was titled Rubbish Christmas Jumpers (That Are Actually Brilliant), and included baubles safety-pinned onto an everyday jumper, among other wonderful festive creations!

Here's similar on their Instagram page.

@Netcam great idea actually. But not quite the same. They're quite into fun dressing up at my office. We had Halloween fancy dress too. I managed to put together a 'witch from the wizard of oz' outfit from my wardrobe with a black dress, stripey black and white leggings and red mary jane shoes. I bought a cheap witch hat to finish it off.