What do overweight 40+ women wear on a night out?

[BetsyBobbin]

I've been invited to a gig by some much younger work colleagues. We get on pretty well, I like them and they like me, age has never come into the conversation. They invited me to a gig (it wasn't out of politeness, I swear) and I really want to go.

However: I don't want to go looking like mutton dressed as lamb, neither with a twin set and a pearl necklace. Obviously being a size 18 Apple shape doesn't really help with choices, so what do I do? I'm looking at some COS stuff but I doubt they would look nice on a size 18. Please help!

This kind of outfit but maybe slightly dressier shirt?

I often wear these platform trainers from next or my Nike platforms.

It's very outdated

I wore a whistles denim jumpsuit to a gig last week and got complimented on it twice that night!

Noooo! I'd it's hot you'll massively regret a turtleneck! Or a jumper. You'll be unbearably hot!

Unless you're wearing that as a layer with something else under?

I wear skater dresses and ankle boots myself. Always long sleeved. Im peri menopausal so jeans cling to my belly badly. Just make your sure your hair/makeup looks good and you'll look fab.

A draped or ruched t shirt? https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-short-sleeve-wrap-draped-top-917821?srsltid=AfmBOoqXFwo8-GqmSqrfiVO10ZQlFSsp896CS30cRQ5RHHMtIsbiI1JtR6Q

Crafty09
That’s a cool top .

I would wear velvet trousers and a sequinned top like eg https://www.amazon.co.uk/Womens-Ladies-Sparkling-Glitter-Sequins/dp/B01N02TPW6/

Hmmm I would say dress down not up. Think cool temp wise. Good sturdy boots or trainers. I reckon any hint of animal print or sequins won’t fit the 90s relaxed jeans and white socks vibe many will wear around you.
so either just wear something you love or feel like you in. Cos might have something. I have an oversized top from them that is relaxed but also a look and skins all the fat bits. I just wear it with knitted tights and boots - not trendy but it has shirt sleeves some block colour and looks relaxed but confident. More importantly I don’t overheat and it has pockets.

Something like this https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls439449/e06033?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UWkHbjjkgX8FdFSmXfGbqNAH&gclid=Cj0KCQjwsoe5BhDiARIsAOXVoUt3RL281O5U5bVaHZKFcKkeETGh9CZxVJWq-Ve0lcV33n_Q1Y8B1kwaAntzEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#E06033 with jeans and jacket?

How about Poetry for tops? Wide range of sizes and very wearable.

Wear what you like. 40+ and overweight is irrelevant. Thankfully gen Z has dropped the notion of ‘dressing for size’ and they wear what they like. For some reason the older generations feel the need to ‘dress appropriately’ for their weight and age, like either aspect is offensive in a certain type of clothing. Set yourself free! Wear what you want!

The last gig I went to I wore black skinny jeans, black trainers (too warm for boots) a black top - high neck, angel sleeves, lacy bit at the neckline (from Vinted but originally New Look) and a black leather jacket.

lots of the women were wearing cream floaty blouses, but then that was the style of the band!

Hi All! Got home last night and crashed, didn't have the chance to come here and reply. Yes, those HM tops weren't really appropriate, didn't buy them.

Can't reply to everyone individually but thank you to everyone who gave suggestions, I really appreciate them. That River Island top is absolutely gorgeous! But floral patterns, checked or baggy shirts, denim vest tops (perish the thought) are a no from me. I don't like big patterns or even patterns for that matter. I prefer solid block colours, my aesthetic veers towards COS, & other stories and the like. I just didn't want to go the gig like I normally would go to the office, do you know what I mean?

But we seem to have a divide. Some people think the skinny jeans/boots/nice top look is outdated but others keep suggesting it. Me personally, I'd much prefer to draw away from it but it does seem to be the easiest and safest option. Gah, why is it so difficult to get it right after a certain age and weigh gain? (probably answered my own question there)

@BetsyBobbin I love the relaxed fit t-shirts from Red Bubble. I search something I'm interested in, scroll through designs and put them on a black or grey tee.

Just west whatever you feel comfy in and have a wonderful time!

Just for perspective ;) I have bought a mini skirt and it is covered in sequins.....

I am 47. Going to see ABBA Voyage for DH's 50th with friends. Will add tights. Linen t shirt in silver to help my sweating. Black footless tights. And black trainers.

I hope you find something that you feel good in and brings you joy!

Abba Voyage is absolutely brilliant!!! You'll have the best time!

How about something like this top? Seems quite a flattering shape with longish sleeves. You could a choker necklace to glam it up a bit.
Wear with leggings and chunky boots for the most comfort! And leather jacket but that may be a bit hot at a gig.

I wouldn't wear jeans personally. I'm an apple shape with big boobs. I'd wear a plain fine knit, fitted black midi dress with long sleeves, with a chunky-ish black ankle boot.

If that sounds specific, its because I've just bought 3 of them and they're perfect for virtually everything. I can't link, sorry - they're from a local boutique.

...sorry, more info about my perfect dresses scoop neck, bit edgy cut, VERY flattering. I'll try to link to something similar.

I’m 44…I wear these a lot :

https://www.marksandspencer.com/jersey-t-shirt/p/clp60593595?color=BLACK#intid=pid_pg1pip48g2r14c2

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/blazer-with-rolled-up-sleeves-p02182344.html?v1=388190775&v2=2420942

https://www.levi.com/US/uen_US/clothing/women/jeans/bootcut/ribcage-wide-leg-womens-jeans/p/A60810004

I thought my dress was a bit more generic, but I can't actually find anything the same. This one is very close, but mine kind of skims a bit more than clings and the shoulder has a slightly tailored edge that's more flattering for my shape. I know it's not earth-shatteringly exciting, but with an undone-ish vibe, I've found it suitable for so many different 'going out' things.

It definitely needs a heavy-ish boot. I'm just a ton happier in dresses than jeans/separates!

dress

That is really nice… it’s an Australian brand ?I have a similar one from Uniqlo but it’s more of a heavy material

This isn't suitable in the slightest for an apple shape with a round tummy like me unless you throw a cardigan, jumper, shirt or blouse on top of that. It's the stuff I used to wear when I was a beanpole 15 year old 😅