What do overweight 40+ women wear on a night out?

[BetsyBobbin]

I've been invited to a gig by some much younger work colleagues. We get on pretty well, I like them and they like me, age has never come into the conversation. They invited me to a gig (it wasn't out of politeness, I swear) and I really want to go.

However: I don't want to go looking like mutton dressed as lamb, neither with a twin set and a pearl necklace. Obviously being a size 18 Apple shape doesn't really help with choices, so what do I do? I'm looking at some COS stuff but I doubt they would look nice on a size 18. Please help!

"don't personally want everyone to see my back fat or c-section overhang. I know how to dress to suit my shape, it's just finding the right shape clothes that's the battle. Skims suit women who are voluptuous and outgoing, not your average size 20, 43 year old mum who's knackered from working full time with young children and aging parents, doesn't go out at night much, and just wants to look nice without thinking too much about it."

@SnapdragonToadflax WORD! You've said it better than I ever could 🙏

Black stretch trousers of some kind, black t-shirt, denim overshirt (mine is black denim), trainers. chunky arty necklace (a la Pru Leith) and earrings. Black is your best friend!!!

The 'right' answer is, of course, whatever the heck we want. Having said that, I wouldn't be seen dead in most of the stuff on this thread tbh.

I'd generally go with a black mini skirt, black tights and boots
or jeans, a black vest and an All Saints kimono
or a shortish dress, tights and boots

I'm overweight but my legs are still decent enough. My stomach, however, is not!

I'm currently eyeing up this skirt to be worn with a plain black top, tights and boots.

How in any way is that suitable for an apple shaped figure! I am looking through all of these options as I am also an overweight apple shape, and this is what I wore when I was a skinny size 8!

I can promise you that you would NOT want to see me in this dress. A touch overweight is not quite the same as properly overweight!

As I said upthread, I AM an overweight apple with big boobs. It's suitable for me because it creates a more elongated, sleeker silhouette, and looks - imo - way better than trying to 'hide' my shape.

For me, the worse apple-shaped clothes are anything baggy/patterned/waist length. Apple is a tricky shape to 'conceal,' and the usual apple-shape solutions are just not me at all.

No, I didn't miss any memo. I would never wear that kind of dress, what other people wear is their problem

You know what, OP? I tried to reply to your thread in good faith, but I wish I hadn't bothered. Your replies are a bit out of step with the usual style and beauty friendly vibe.

I wear skinny jeans, a baggy vest top and a cardigan. I can tuck the vest in at my hips/one hip and pull it down at the front to hide my belly. Usually everything is black but I can alternate the cardigan colour where appropriate. I usually wear either ballet pump/loafer type shoes or heels. Shoe colour can change to add flare. Also wear a cross body small bag to add flare. Cringing at the word flare but I don't think it's any better than pizzazz.

The only issue is if it gets really hot and rolling cardigan sleeves up isn't enough but some vests can be flattering with larger arms.

And I have a lot of back fat and a c section over hang.

@m00rfarm it's mad, right? You need to have an awesome body to be able to pull a dress like that. At a size 18 all I need to wear a dress like that is Donald Trump's confidence

No, you were rude first saying, and I quote, "I missed the memo", like you were some fashion oracle dishing some great advice. Then you got in a strop because a few other people (not only me btw) said that the dress you suggested isn't appropriate for an apple shape at all.

The idea that that dress is flattering and elongates the shape is only true if you're looking at yourself at an amusement park distorting mirror

@BetsyBobbin I made that remark, not @Fellran - and I certainly didn’t intend any rudeness. You made a thread to ask for advice - I offered my opinion. I obviously wouldn’t have suggested anything I didn’t actually believe in, (not on models but on real plus sized women I’m related to and work with) but it’s fine if you’d prefer a different style of dressing.

Hope you find what you’re looking for.

The thing is, every woman is different and what works for one of us won’t necessarily work for another. I’ve seen overweight women looking great in clingy dresses - a lot of it is to do with underwear. I’d wear a clingy dress myself, maybe, but I’d want some sort of jacket over it rather than wearing it on its own.

It’s a bit daft that women end up bickering on a thread about clothes! Just try some things on - some will work for you and some won’t, but that doesn’t mean they won’t work for others.

You're absolutely right, some of the advice here isn't good for me and my taste but some other suggestions were great and I'm super grateful (whoever suggested that see through black shirt from H&M, THANK YOU!).

However, a clingy dress on size 18 apple shape will be a forever no, for me at least.

For what it's worth, I've seen some large women (in height and width) rock the dress that @Fellran suggested. I absolutely couldn't but it's a fair suggestion if you know it works well on you.

Wow. I mean, you're completely wrong, and quoting a completely different poster to try to insult me - maybe check next time who you're being needlessly vile to? - but your posts are just so unpleasant.

You asked for fashion advice. I gave mine in good faith, trying to help. You are literally there, posting insults, and trying to undermine my confidence in how I look, as a middle aged, overweight woman. I cannot imagine being the sort of person who would do that. Many that's your normal, in which case I probably should feel sorry for you.

It doesn't matter what you wear if you're the kind of woman who puts other women down. I get the idea of the kind of person you are now, so I'm aware that all of this will land on deaf ears.

No one else is bickering, to be fair. It was a normal, supportive, pleasant S&B thread, until the OP started being scathing and insulting to posters who don't share her taste in clothes.

Christ almighty OP, you're a nasty piece of work.

Wind your neck in. You're insulting posters who tried to help. They've got no bloody idea what you want to wear. I doubt anyone gives a toss what you look like tbh.

If you feel good in that dress all the power to you, but don't be offended when the replies you had after suggesting it weren't exactly what you were expecting. Maybe the several replies saying that a size 18 apple shape would look horrific in that touched a nerve, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️
Like I said, I'm not exactly a fan of the mattress tied up with a string in the middle or the potato sack look.

However, please carry on feeling sorry for me if it makes you feel better though 😎

Ah, you see, you don't know me, but mean little insults from people like you don't get close to affecting my confidence in how I look It's kind of weird that you want to keep on trying though.

I do feel sorry for any woman who feels so crap about themselves that they want to tear down other women. None of that comes from a happy place.

Anyway, enjoy your big night out OP 😘

Jaysus, it really touched a nerve, didn't it? 👀

Erm. Not really, fairly obviously. But then, we already know that reading and comprehension aren't your strong points, are they?

I’m 45 and a size 18/20 Apple. I was out last night wearing pink wide leg trousers, trainers, plain black top.

I felt nice in my outfit.

Wouldn’t wear the one on the left on a night out and I like the one on the right but I know being big boobed the roll necks aren’t for me. 🙁