What do overweight 40+ women wear on a night out?

[BetsyBobbin]

I've been invited to a gig by some much younger work colleagues. We get on pretty well, I like them and they like me, age has never come into the conversation. They invited me to a gig (it wasn't out of politeness, I swear) and I really want to go.

However: I don't want to go looking like mutton dressed as lamb, neither with a twin set and a pearl necklace. Obviously being a size 18 Apple shape doesn't really help with choices, so what do I do? I'm looking at some COS stuff but I doubt they would look nice on a size 18. Please help!

https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E470883-000/00?colorDisplayCode=31&sizeDisplayCode=003

have a look at Uniqlo dresses, similar undone vibe, I have a few of their dresses you can’t go wrong

I'd wear that to go to the office, not on a night out really. I don't want to go covered in sequins but that's way too plain for a gig I'm afraid, I'd have to accessorize the hell out of it.

Well, as previously mentioned, I am a middle-aged apple shape with a round tummy, and big boobs myself...

I've long abandoned the idea that floaty/baggy things are more flattering. I think shaped, dark, sleek looks are way more flattering - they don't hide everything, but the overall silhouette is better, and I'm not too fussed about hiding my shape completely - but happy to disagree 😊

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1249138002.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GB_ENG_GOO_SH_Ladies_BRA_Branded_SHOPV1_All_LOW_pi_GBG0609W301212&utm_term=&hier_id=go_cmp-12828082235_adg-121943361816_ad-517954073660_aud-1302409056691:pla-321662237026_dev-m_ext-_prd-en-1249138002004_sig-Cj0KCQjwsoe5BhDiARIsAOXVoUvynIXa0eRT0TO4o36n1pLCgLi9kV93m2bYi4OMgQdK9uDaUtHppC0aAqOqEALw_wcB&utm_source=Google&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwsoe5BhDiARIsAOXVoUvynIXa0eRT0TO4o36n1pLCgLi9kV93m2bYi4OMgQdK9uDaUtHppC0aAqOqEALw_wcB

Sorry for horrid link but what about a sheer shirt like this, with a cami underneath?

Oof😬

I'm early 40s, pure apple shape with a tummy, touch overweight and wear dresses like this to wine bars/casual music stuff quite a lot (yep with the biker boots).

I'm another one that doesn't like the usual advice to wear something baggy - I honestly think it's the worse thing for apples! Well me anyway. It makes me look totally out of proportion.

If you like Cos why not wear something from
thete?

Maybe something here? Disko kids music inspired clothing.

@Lakiem I never said I wanted something baggy. Actually, further up the thread I said baggy shirts are a no from me, I don't like them at all. I am happy that you like that kind of dress but it isn't the kind of thing I'd feel comfortable in it, I'd be panicking too much. Maybe with some elaborate layering but just the dress alone clinging on every part of my body isn't something I'd ever wear now.

I like that idea! This shirt with a cami underneath (not with the bra only, of course) actually fits the bill!

.

I was referring to - in fact exactly what I said - "the usual advice" about baggy stuff. I was talking about the general advice that I see all the time about dressing apple shapes.

I'll leave you to it OP. Hope you find something.

What about something like this from h and m. They have it in black too. Put a belt on your jeans then blazer or jacket over

I have a fabulous black dress from Oliver bonas with a deep v neck and long sleeves. Light lacy material, I wish I'd bought 10 of them .im a curvy 19 with huge knockers.
I dress this dress up with heels and down with sambas,
I've never felt over or under dressed

It's literally my saviour - they currently have same dress in a greeny gold for Xmas and I've bought 2

So flattering & flexible

www.oliverbonas.com/us/fashion/textured-black-tiered-mini-dress-365163

This is the dress. Compliments every time I put it on

You’re going to roast in all that stuff
get a square cut oversized t shirt. Not too long. Red lipstick. Hair.

Cos clothes are, sadly, mostly very unflattering on apple shapes. This top is a very good example of that 😳 High necklines are a no, and very baggy, oversized is very unflattering. We need a V or scoop neckline, skimming but not tight clothes.

I feel your pain OP, I'm finding it very hard to find flattering clothes at the moment. Crew necks being in is not helpful. The last gig I went to I wore black flare jeans, a very old black angel sleeve top, and a burgundy silky longline blouse over the top with lace up ankle boots. Basically the same thing I've been wearing since the 90s 😂 but I felt ok.

www.diskokids.co.uk/products/disco-sparkly-red-balloon-sleeve-jumper

How about a black v-neck loose vest top with a kimono type top?

another one -

That top is gorgeous and I would be buying it right now, if only it didn't have such a high neckline 😭Honestly, when V neck tops are back in fashion I'm going to buy SO many, to get me through the next crew neck wasteland.

Late 30s & ow here.

I am over the skinny jeans and a top thing was only ever a band tee for me anyway not a nice top but the last couple of years for gigs I've wore wide leg / flare type with graphic tee and platform converse or I've worn a dress with tights and boots or maxi satin skirt one block colour with a tshirt again sometime plain sometimes some graphic such as a similar band but not the band of the gig I'm at.

Not a fashion influencer by any means but I have to be comfortable both physically and mentally like im dressed ok to be at a gig or I'll go home. These choices have been OK for me hope that helps

Forgot to say also....
I won't wear a vest top with my arms out but I will with flared trousers and a short kimono

Oh that in black is rather nice, thanks

That is a good dress and despite the summery pic but I could always wear with black tights and black boots and a nice jacket, thanks

@SnapdragonToadflax you're so right, V necks are great for apples. I learnt that with a book I got years ago, I think it is called Dress Yourself Thin (or something like that, it's on a shelf here somewhere). In it the author thought you how to dress for each part of your body separately, so if you have fat arms, cap sleeves are a no. If you have a fat neck don't wear your hair shoulder length as it draws attention to the problem area. I'm an apple with small boobs so my problems are different from the big boobed ladies for example. V necks are great for small boobs, if you wear them with the right bra it's going to pull the attention away from other parts